It's time to accept and perhaps embrace that our Government is a government of oligarchs and plutocrats-- always has been, always will be. With all the fuss about Freedom and Democracy and escaping the oppression of the wicked King George and his horrible tax on tea, and forcing us to wear those awful wigs during the revolutionary War, Americans seem painfully unconcerned with a multitude of Freedoms which our Government has been chipping away at since its inception. (Not that there was freedom for slaves or all the dead Native Americans which Europeans murdered, or the Japanese that Americans put into concentration camps… but let's pack that away in a swear jar for right now and focus on the kind of Freedom that "red-blooded" Americans worry about… The kind of freedom in the constitution.
I dare say that not only has the government been chipping away at constitutional liberties since it's inception, but it has taken a sledgehammer to the face of Freedom of “Free People” since 9-11.
But just remember, it was meant to be.
This country wasn't founded on Freedom so much as it was the hope that one day, low-paid security officers would be empowered to give genital examinations to pregnant women getting on planes when those women are in desperate need to travel to foreign countries to give birth for lack of proper healthcare in the United States. It's just fact. It's a thing. The founding fathers were adamant about hobbyist gynecologists causing extreme anxiety and trauma to other humans in utero, thus prematurely inducing the birth of the child and causing additional stress and anxiety which is transferred to said child at the moment the mother shoots out that little baby with a pop.
It is in the constitution. It's a thing.
This country wasn't founded on freedom so much as it was the hope that when an autistic child needs to travel on an airplane that a poorly-paid security officer would be able to fetishize that child's feet by scrutinizing his shoes with a metal wand, until that child went into panic attacks, ultimately causing a seizure on national television to be used by the networks to boost ratings for the next news cycle. By giving security guards this ridiculous authority, the oligarchs knew for sure that this boost in ratings would only fatten their wallets.
But why stop there? It's time to embrace this kind of thing.
I say, not only do we need to bring back the stockades and beheadings, we need more shadowy mercenary groups like TigerSwan getting into our business and treating us like terrorists. Because, at the heart of the matter you have to ask yourself how does an oligarch see its citizenry? Well, of course, not only are corporations people, but people are terrorists. But, what you have to remember is that American legalese took quite a bit from good old King George. While corporations are people, and people are terrorists, what you might be interested to know is that in fact, people are not people. There are all kinds of fun legal distinctions, not only in the US Constitution but all of the state constitutions, and all of the lesser Laws throughout the land.
You see, if you change the meaning of words, then you can damn everyone with them, and damning people is fun. It's why five-year-old boys love to play cops and robbers. They get to be both the cops and the robbers, which in actuality are nearly the same thing, and either way, they get to put a boot on your face. The oligarchs are of course the true robbers, and the cops are their enforcers. Think of them as heavily armed tax collectors… A vestige of good old King George.
Remember the Standing Rock protests? You know, Native Americans and environmental activists getting together to peacefully stand up against the Dakota access pipeline which was illegally being put through the Standing Rock reservation? It turns out it was more than just Burning Man in North Dakota as Counter Current News described it. There was this shadowy security firm known as TigerSwan that targeted the Water Protectors— the movement opposed to the pipeline-- and TigerSwan used military style counter terrorism tactics on these tree-huggers. Cool. Right?
Mind you— you would think this is just some boring old company trying to put gas in your car. Nope. These guys are so much cooler than all that. Also— Probably, a lot of people think it’s not the kind of thing Donald Trump would be into. Again— you’d be wrong. The first thing he did when he got into office was literally body slam the paperwork to give the pipeline the authority to kick some hippy-ass. Trump is a gift from Vince McMahon. Like a cross between Richard Nixon and Hulk Hogan.
Cool AF. Right?
But a corporation can't tell the president of the United States what to do— The Commander-in-chief is above that. Right?
Wrong.
I know you’re all new to this. This is just how civics are done these days.
And I am going to tell you just how we embrace it… I haven't forgotten.
Fun fact: documents have been leaked about TigerSwan. They cut their teeth as a US military and State Department contractor fighting "the global war on terror," and during the protests they worked for the Pipeline company.
So the pipeline company had an army? Yep. You betcha!
Here's the best part!
Internal documents described the movement as "an ideologically driven insurgency with a strong religious component." They even describe the anti-pipeline activists as jihadist fighters.
This shit just keeps on getting better, son! How cool is this? These mercenary guys had stingrays to zap into Water Protector’s cell-phones like secret agents. They had snipers hide out in the grass to take out any hippies that got too out of hand. They would even send out mercenaries to pretend to be Water Protectors and do treacherous stuff to try to make it look like the Water Protectors were a bunch of violent dicks that just wanted to create chaos and mayhem.
So, if these guys have paid off the President of the United States and they have worked in tandem with other United States military outfits, these guys are both the cops and the robbers— just like five-year-old boys fantasize. If the US government can pimp out paid gunmen to portray peaceful environmental activists worried about Mother Earth, then it's time to just embrace it. We live in a complete and total police state. It’s on!!
That's why TigerSwan needs ninjas-- and we need to put these damn hippies in the stockades to make an example of them. No warrants. No protections for citizens— just pure awesome. That's the kind of Freedom the founding fathers were talking about. Remember they were all 100% about committing genocide to the Native Americans, and enslaving black people. So-- if the oligarchs are able to paint everyone else with this same paint brush, like they did at Standing rock, then pretty soon they will be able to enact legislation which will label all citizens as terrorists and jihadists. It's really the perfect plan.
I know my privilege is showing here— and what we should really be looking for is reparations. That was the old me. The new me can see the value in everyone being labeled a terrorist. How awesome will it be when the FBI is breaking through your window every morning and sticking a gun in your face? I mean, I’ve been raided before. You can see the video on my YouTube channel. Everyone is going to get their turn soon. And how cool is the name TigerSwan? It's scary but beautiful. And tigers are Asian, so that's pretty inclusive, right?
I mean, what if TigerSwan hired Jackie Chan as a consultant? Then you could get Jason Statham and Sylvester Stallone and Vin Diesel to go to all these pipeline protests and beat up all these hippies. And remember, it wouldn't just be the pipeline protests. Statham would be doing ninja moves in your living room every morning. He will be waking your ass out of bed with the Vulcan death pinch and killing people's loved ones every morning. And they could do it legally. That would make it so cool.
The oligarchs could totally get away with it. And as long as Trump could extend his Muslim travel ban to hippies, and by extension, terrorists, which all people have been labeled as, then the oligarchs have really got the world on lockdown.
And think about it-- it would make an incredible reality show. It would be like the Truman show meets Kiefer Sutherland in “24”— meets “Celebrity Apprentice,” with a touch of Russell Crowe’s “Gladiator.” Donald Trump will be like the emperor with a two-way monitor, and when Jason Statham breaks through your bedroom window, then Trump will look you in the eyes through the TV monitor and decide in that moment whether to utter his trademark "you're fired." And if he does fire you, then Jason Statham rips your head from your shoulders and jams it up your hindquarters. And even though you may be dead, you will definitely get your 15 minutes of fame, at least for that day. That's what's important. That--and making the oligarchs richer. That's what's important too. And Freedom… The Kind of Freedom the founding fathers wanted.
We will get it soon enough. It is time to embrace it.