HUMOR ALERT!
Donnie will turn 71 years old on Friday. Here is some real fake news about that really yuuuge event.
A White House leaker has leaked the contents of one of Trump’s email messages to Vladimir Putin. It reads as follows:
June 16, 2017
Dear Uncle Vladdie,
Since you asked, I will tell you what I want for my birthday.
I would like you to help me become an international world-class kleptocrat instead of merely operating at the national level, as I now do. I figure that since the electoral college gave me to opportunity to make some really serious money, it would be stupid of me not to follow through -- and as everyone knows, I am very very smart.
Or you can buy me for a mere $10 billion. That would be a win-win, since then you could become the first man in history to control two different superpowers at the same time and I could actually become as rich as I like to pretend I am.
I’m good with you giving me either of these for my birthday, the mentoring or the cash. Better yet, give me both.
Your admiring clanmember,
Donnie