Trump looked especially sad and pathetic at the G20 meeting. He was that kid on the very first day at a new school. He had no friends, no one to make small talk with, no one to eat lunch with. Worst, for him, he had no sense of identity — there was no place for him in the pecking order — he had no idea who he was or where he fit in. He didn’t know the people, the customs, the non-verbal language of the culture he was suddenly thrust into. So he lingers at the margins, not knowing how to act, what to say, or who to say it to.
Many (if not all) of us have been in that situation — or, certainly, seen other people in that situation. Depending on you sense of self, you might joyfully wade right into such a situation, charming everyone you meet. Or, you might withdraw and hope not to be noticed. But at some point, we are all ultimately social creatures, and by a combination of our own doing and those around us, we find our place.
Especially if you are coming from an environment where you were (at least considered to be) the alpha — what do you do in a new situation where you have no standing (good or bad) at all? What do you do when you don't know the rules of engagement?
Answer: You improvise and try to be the alpha again. You take a guess about what the rules to ladder climbing are and you just make things up. The higher you want to be on the ladder, the more outrageous the lies have to be. I have seen this most extremely in children trying to fit it in to a new school (but now have also seen it in a 71 year old man).
In junior high school I was one of a handful of scholarship students at an elite private school. One of the other scholarship students wanted to fit in highly into the social structure, so he made up some real whoppers — that were obviously whoppers to everyone — because they were beyond what even the über-rich kids at the school actually had. For example, when his dad picked him up from school in a VW bug, he made sure everyone knew that the Mercedes (which didn’t exist) was in the shop. And that he preferred the family helicopter over the Mercedes anyway.
Outside of these tall tales, this was a good friend and a good guy. Perhaps it is the affection I still hold for him (and for other friends who similarly tried to fit in) that there is a small part of me that pities Trump for the situation he is in.
On the other hand, Trump is in so far over his head that his improvising and his lying are causing real damage to our country and to the lives of real people. In junior high, my friend eventually realized people liked him even if his family didn’t have a helicopter — they liked him because of his sense of his wit, his kindness, and his “self.” There have been accounts from people who know Trump in real life that he has some qualities like that to actually fall back on. I hope he has them and I hope he will fall back on them. But, ultimately, regardless of whether we feel sorry for him or not, or what are the reasons for his lying, he is lying. And he is a danger — and he needs to stop doing the horrible things he is doing or he needs to stop being president.