In order to view this magical passage it is first necessary to partake in a few prostrations to the Supreme Orange Demigod.
Gather one (of the dozens you bought in order to have Christmas presents for your liberal in-laws) of your copies of the sacred tome. Caress your dog-eared copy as you mew with gratitude. Get online and proudly dispense $40 of your hard-earned money to your saviour for the New & Improved MAGA ballcap. Now, locate the nearest mirror and recite ‘Sheeple, Sheeple, Sheeple’, all the while regarding the visage of the fierce warrior staring back at you.
Randomly open your Sacred Text and prepare to be astounded!
Almost imperceptibly, the blank page will begin to shimmer and lo! the commandments will appear unto you:
1) Strip off your shirt and expose your naked underbelly to Chuck Schumer.
2) Crawl on all fours to Nancy Pelosi and proceed to tongue-bathe her unwashed feet with your tongue.
3) Accept the very first offer the Democrats make.
<Jesus, he thinks he is pulling some masterful pivot. God, what an idiot.>