Jared Kushner and John Kelly meet at the White House
Kushner- Hey, it looks like POTUS wants Mattis at Defense out .
Kelly-Yup, he's mad at Mad Dog. He thinks Mattis had a hand in the Anonymous Op-ed.
Kushner-Oy gevolt, if he knew how many of us were in on it, there'd be
nothing but empty desks in here. Got any replacements in mind?
Kelly-Yeah, I'm looking into some guys.
Kushner-Find someone with a good nickname, Ivanka says he went with Mattis because of the name
"Mad Dog".
Kelly-Oh, I know but I crossed out "Trigger" Thomaston. The last thing we need is an itchy trigger finger.
So far we've had to talk your FIL out of blowing up Korea twice, and Syria and Venezuela...oh and
Don't forget Panama, he was really hot about that?
Kushner-Oh yeah, cuz they took his name off of the hotel. Who else have you got?
Kelly-There's "Hairy Harry" Hagstrom in the Navy, "Caveman" Olsen at the Army and "Ratso Rosberg".
Kushner-Maybe we could change that to "Rabid Rat" Rosberg. He could be good but I doubt
The Donald would go for a SecDef from the Coast Guard, he thinks they're fairies.
It's funny a lot of the Israeli generals have cutesy names like "Mo", "Izzie" and of course "Bibi"
Kelly- Speaking of..how's that going?
Kushner-Aah! Netanyahu is crazier than Donald, wants to nuke every single Arab!
Kelly-You need another stupid job that can't be done, so you can just kibbitz all day.
Kushner-Fuck you...sir (stands up and mock-salutes). Hey you should go for SecDef and I could take your job!
Kelly-Well they used to call me "Killer" Kelly. As for my job, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, which of
course is you...or is it Ivanka?
Kushner-Ivanka thinks Bill Shine* is pushing Ollie North.
Kelly-Ollie "Shit for Brains" North? Ollie "Treacherous Slimeball" North? That Ollie North at SecDef?
Kushner-That Fox News crowd sticks together but Ollie would probably consider it a demotion from the NRA.
I gotta go to another pointless meeting and listen to Pop rant, see you around the asylum,
Anonymous.
Kelly- Yeah, I have a strait-jacket fitting, see you Anonymous.
*Former President of Fox News Channel, current Director of White House Communications,l