Paula White is spiritual advisor to the White House Squatter. She’s been there, invoking a prayer at the inauguration as well as heading up his evangelical advisory committee. So, yes, as I am sure you can surmise, she’s a grifter, AKA a “prosperity minister.” The teachings, if you can call them that, of the prosperity ministry are fairly simple: Gimme your money and God will reward you with money. Okay, you might think. Can’t I just keep my money and skip the middle man? Well, NOOOO. You cannot.
Peter Popoff will at least send you his “Miracle Spring Water” (now in larger size!):
Many of you might remember John Oliver’s hilarious take on these con artists, on which he stressed how the tax exempt status allows them to really rake in the dough.
Anyway, back to Trump’s favorite — Paula. She is now proclaiming give me you January salary or face the wrath of God. Go to her website and she requests your “First Fruit.”
Paula White, who heads up the president’s evangelical advisory committee, suggested making a donation to her ministries to honor the religious principle of “first fruit,” which she said is the idea that all firsts belong to God, including the first harvest and, apparently, the first month of your salary.
"Right now I want you to click on that button, and I want you to honor God with his first fruits offering,” she said in a video shared to her website, in which she encourages her followers to donate to her ministries to get blessings from God.
“If God doesn’t divinely step in and intervene, I don’t know what you’re going to face—he does,” she said.
So, no niceties, no miracle water. Just show me the money, or well, you’ve got a nice little life there. A shame if anything happens to it — if you know what I mean.