I learned the truth at seventeen
The year I joined the GOP
A humorless group with phony smiles
Who side with the boss, but then get fired
The frivolous thoughts of youth
Seemed as dangerous as jumping off the roof
Fun was meant for liberals
At seventeen, I learned the truth
And those of us with angry faces
Who hung around with paranoid crazies
And claimed that women belong at home
While dialing up sex chats on the phone
Complaining about how liberal immorality
Is ruining our society
It isn’t all it seems, at seventeen
The brown eyed girl who was new to town
That talk radio warned me about
Who asked would you go out with me
But I was sure she was here illegally
She was cute and really nice
I should have said “yes,” but I called ICE
Then I called Sean Hannity
It isn’t all it seems, at seventeen
I said things some that are insane
The Democrats I liked to blame
For everything that seemed to go wrong
Even the lyrics of this song
With sinister eyes I stared at you
Wondering if you are a Muslim too
I read propaganda by the ream, at seventeen
I liked the union busting gang
Who took dad’s pension, which they drained
And I wondered why my name was never called
For a local craft brew crawl
I had no friends it really seems
Except the bloggers on my screen
I wasted all my days of youth
Aspiring to be uncouth
I hated scientists who had dared
To use their brains and seem to care
About a future we would own
And changes that we could not postpone
They talked and said please listen to me
As I trolled them posting obscenities
I joined the GOP, at seventeen.