The debasement of objective truth is an unacceptable side effect of the republican party’s lust for power. The emergence of really bad liars like tRump, Sanders, Nunes, the NRA and the extensive rogues gallery of Fox squawking heads at the summit of Bullshit Mountain has created a wedge that can be used to unpack a lot of the truthless pablum promoted and promulgated by this country’s soulless money worshipers over the last 60 years.
tRump has exhibited a penchant for letting his thin skin, pettiness and persecution complex push his already impulsive blundering over the edge into all-star stupidity.
One of our jobs as dedicated resisters is to continue to shine a light on the absurd pretzel logic spokesliars are pushing to their addicted base. Only the truly addled can continue to give credence to the incoherent ramblings of tRump, Sanders and the honesty challenged crowd masquerading as a legitimate political party. From big lies like trickle-down economics to admitted public lies like “countless members of the FBI” the culture of dishonesty in the republican party is pervasive. Whenever someone attempts the bothsiderism argument that all politicians lie, our response should be “Not like this they don’t.”
The Mueller report, obvious transparent lies about other current cases and greatest hits from previously debunked lies can and should be mentioned loudly and often as a way to point up just how untrustworthy republicans really are. If they are willing to publicly defend obvious lies, to what depths are they willing to descend for the insidious lies lurking in their shriveled hearts?
Calm explanations as well as scathing ridicule are two ways to confront the lie merchants. I’m sure there are more. What’s important is to continue to engage in the conversation. Not so much to convince the Koolaid contingent as to keep the issues in front of the squishy middle. I’m planning to do my part. I hope you are too.
When he’s not busy earning four Pinocchio ratings, being a whiny victim of a deep state plot or a demented caricature of a leader, Donald J tRump likes to think of himself as an apex predator. With that in mind I thought it might be interesting to perform a comparison.
T-Rex |
|
t-Rump |
Tiny vestigial hands |
|
Tiny vestigial hands |
Big Mouth |
|
Big Mouth |
Prehistoric mindset |
|
Prehistoric mindset |
Peanut sized brain |
|
Peanut sized brain |
Thunder lizard |
|
Blunder wizard |
Fearsome predator |
|
Loathsome prevaricator |
Extinct |
|
Pending |
Gee, it looks like tRump is a real dinosaur (in the worst sense of the word). Sic semper tyrannis
Let’s start things off with John Oliver’s take on Stupid Watergate [15:19]
And on to the news (There’s a lot of it, but if you hate actual news the real derision ramps up after the musical interlude).
The Stain of Cain
One down. Let’s see if we can turn this into a trend.
The Root: Herman Cain Takes Himself Out Of Federal Reserve Board Consideration
Herman Cain is officially out of consideration for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board after it was clear Republicans in the Senate would not support his candidacy, according to The Washington Post.
Cain, who ran for the GOP nomination for president in 2012, would have pretty much needed every Republican to back his nomination. But four Republicans said they would not vote for him, which made it a near-forgone conclusion that Trump didn’t have enough votes to push Cain over the threshold needed to be confirmed. Republicans have 53 seats in the Senate, and no Democrat was expected to back him.
His confirmation was an uphill battle from the start because he has more baggage than an airport full of fight delays. For one, economists, lawmakers and Wall Street investors questioned his credentials—a common critique of Trump appointees and the president himself—for the central bank. Another issue is the sexual harassment allegations from his 2012 presidential run that forced him to end his campaign. He has denied the allegations, but one of his accusers had agreed to testify at his confirmation hearing had it taken place.
Are You Afraid of Getting Hit By a Flying Subpoena?
Looks like one of the stars of the Mueller report will be lollygagging around Capitol Hill soon. I’m going to need more popcorn.
The Guardian: Don McGahn, ex-White House counsel, subpoenaed over Mueller report
The subpoena, issued on Monday, escalates the congressional investigations into Trump, his finances and accusations that he sought to obstruct justice, as Democrats debate how to proceed with the evidence contained in the special counsel’s 448-page report. McGahn cooperated extensively in the special counsel’s investigation and emerged as a key witness in several incidents at the heart of whether Trump obstructed justice.
“The special counsel’s report, even in redacted form, outlines substantial evidence that President Trump engaged in obstruction and other abuses,” said Jerry Nadler, the chairman of the House judiciary committee, which has the power to launch impeachment proceedings.
Meanwhile, in Another Scandal
This is just one example of the world outside of Mueller. I wonder what this revelation exonerates the tRump administration from having committed?
Rolling Stone: Government Memo: Maria Butina Claimed Influence Over Trump Cabinet Pick
The government asserts that Butina “acted at the direction and control” of a “Russian Official,” previously identified as Alexander Torshin. Butina, the memo states, was “fully aware that he reported to the rest of the Russian government and her actions were ultimately for the benefit of the foreign government.” According to the memo, Butina even “voiced worry that others in the Russian government would steal the initiative” to establish a backchannel out from under her.
Perhaps most disturbing, the memo highlights Butina’s claim that she was using her contacts within Trump World in late 2016 to help vet the new administration’s choice for secretary of state. The memo states that Butina “provided the Russian Official with the name of an individual she claimed was being considered for secretary of state” on November 11th, 2016. “She asked the Russian Official to seek the input of the Russian government on the name she provided and told him, ‘our opinion will be taken into consideration’ in the United States.’” The memo offers no further detail on the substance of this explosive claim. (Butina was not mentioned in the redacted Mueller report that detailed extensive contacts between Trump World and Russia. The White House did not immediately respond for a request for comment.)
Disarming Religion
I’ve always been offended by antebellum evangelicals’ penchant for violent rhetoric. Whether demeaning immigrants, women’s rights or gender identity, there’s always been a undercurrent wrapped up in gun culture fearmongering. Maybe we are finally seeing some progress in that community.
The New Yorker: God, Guns, and Country: The Evangelical Fight Over Firearms
Claiborne refers to himself as a “holy troublemaker,” and over the past decade he has become something of a celebrity in Christian circles, for challenging believers to scrutinize the difference between the Bible’s teachings and those espoused in conservative American culture. His first book, “The Irresistible Revolution,” about finding his calling in social-justice work, sold more than three hundred thousand copies. “As I crisscross the country, I can feel a new momentum and movement,” Jim Wallis, the editor of Sojourners magazine, wrote in the foreword. “The monologue of the religious right is finally over, and a fresh dialogue has begun.”
Claiborne believes that conservative culture often conflates Christianity and nationalism, placing, as he puts it, “the American flag above the cross.” This has long involved aligning religion with American gun culture. Last year, Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice-president of the National Rifle Association, said, in a speech, that the Second Amendment was not a right “bestowed by man, but granted by God to all Americans as our American birthright.” In 2017, after a shooting at a Southern Baptist church near San Antonio, Texas, left twenty-six people dead and twenty injured, some Christian leaders called for members of their church to arm themselves; Robertson Jeffress, the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Dallas, said, on “Fox and Friends,” that he felt more secure knowing that his congregants were carrying weapons. After the shooting in San Bernardino, California, in 2015, Jerry Falwell, Jr., the president of Liberty University, urged his students to procure gun permits. (Along with a year-round ski facility, Liberty’s campus is home to a sprawling firing range.) “I’ve always thought that if more good people had concealed-carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walked in,” he told students. Claiborne said, “The irony is you can’t have a beer at Liberty, but you can have a gun.”
Special Election Focus
We have a special election coming up on May 21st for a vacant Pennsylvania State Senate Seat. Our candidate, Susan Boser, needs our help to flip this seat and get us one step closer to flipping the PA Senate. Pam Iovino just flipped a seat a few weeks ago. We think this one is flippable as well. If I hadn’t been so busy getting this roundup together, I would have had a bio/interview with Susan up already. While you wait for me to finish that task, here’s her ActBlue link. I think Susan is also set up with Postcards for Voters.
Hucksters Gotta Huck
Proving conclusively that the turd doesn’t fall far from the ass
Wonkette: Mike Huckabee Literally Thought April Ryan Was Speaking Literally About Beheading His Daughter
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a congenital liar, and her condition is terminal. We appreciate how difficult that probably is for her loved ones, but they should just hold a telethon or something. Sanders's father, Mike Huckabee, chose instead to make some drunk dad jokes on Twitter yesterday.
Huckabee accused journalist April Ryan of literally threatening his daughter's life. Although this is funnier than most of his usual tweets, he was actually serious. He shared a Red State article with the headline "CNN's April Ryan Says Sarah Sanders' Head Should Be 'Lopped Off.'" This is not actually what Ryan said or meant because she's not a homicidal maniac with a bone saw collection.
We'll also transcribe the words in case watching a black woman speak is too triggering for common Huckabees.
RYAN: “Not only does [Sanders] not have any credibility left, she lied. She out and out lied and the people, the American people, can't trust her. They can't trust what's said from the president's mouthpiece, spokesperson, from the people's house. Therefore, she should be let go. She should be fired. End of story. When there is a lack of credibility there, you have to start and start lopping the heads off. It's 'Fire Me Thursday' or 'Fire Me Good Friday,' — she needs to go." We're going to lean heavily on all our comparative literature training and interpret Ryan's statement as calling for Sanders's professional death, not her actual, physical demise. We conclude this because Ryan says "[Sanders] should be fired," and since we aren't Amelia Bedelia, we don't think Ryan literally wants to set Sanders on fire.
Katy, Barr the Door
Apologies in advance. I couldn’t resist.
For the last few weeks Billy Barr Sinister has Barrged his way onto the national stage to re-introduce (reBarr?) the legal concept of Barre decisis, which is the legal principle of determining points in litigation according to Barrgantuan Barrfaced lies and HyperBarric rhetoric. This is another case of a Barrister who couldn’t win a Barrfight with a Barrstool because while he sees himself a a legal Barracuda, he’s really just a Barrmy Barrtoon Barrage of argle Barrgle Barreft of objective judgement. While he sits in his Barrcolounger Barrking at Barrsoom, Barrbary pirates are committing acts of Barrberism and attempting to perform a Barrium enema on our country’s justice system. In our opinion, this dirty Barrstard should be disBarred, Barricaded into his trash Barrge and sunk in the harbor of tRump’s hopes and dreams. The Barrow-minded way he’s tried to lower the Barr has actually increased the Barrometric pressure, caused many to Barrf in disgust, and served as a major emBarrassment to just about everyone on the planet. His time in the Barrel is coming soon and he can expect to be thoroughly Barr-b-cued by his critics. Be assured, we will be able to hit the broadside of this Barrn. We’ve deciphered the Barr code and are moving to stop the Barrglarization of the Justice Department.
Before he joined our country’s tRump fluffing cabinet, he had a history of Barrtisan overreach. He’s been Barrhopping from scandal to scandal throughout his less than stellar career, Barrtering his reputation for Barrgain basement political favor.
Vice: William Barr’s Been Accused of a Presidential Cover-Up Before
During his first run at DOJ, Barr played a key role in at least three contentious episodes that have come under fresh scrutiny as Washington scrambles to understand his potential influence over the Mueller report.
- The FBI Memo: In 1989, Barr reportedly misled Congress when omitting important parts of a Justice Department memo he wrote about the FBI’s ability to abduct suspects in foreign countries.
- Iran-Contra: He successfully advocated the pardon of six former White House aides, including those convicted of lying to Congress or withholding information during the investigation. The six-year probe centered around allegations that the Reagan administration had secretly sold weapons to Iran despite an arms embargo, then clandestinely funneled the proceeds to anti-Communist rebels in Nicaragua.
- Iraqgate: Barr refused a Congressional request to appoint an independent counsel, for the first known time since the statute creating the position was established 24 years earlier, according to contemporaneous accounts in the Washington Post and the LA Times.
Then, as now, Barr fashioned finely-tuned legal arguments to buttress an expansive view of executive power, including instances when he argued that certain potential crimes under investigation by a special prosecutor shouldn’t be looked into at all, because he didn’t think they were actually crimes.
We hope to be able to report about his effort to Barr nuns in the near future. In the meantime, the 4 page Barr summary letter annotated with excerpts from the actual Mueller report is worth a read.
Rolling Stone: Re-Read Bill Barr’s Infamous Letter With Full Quotes From the Mueller Report
Context is everything. Trump’s attorney general is a partisan hack
Attorney General William Barr released a letter to Congress on March 24, 2019, purporting to summarize the top-line conclusions of the Mueller report. Now that the full report has been made public it’s clear that Barr’s selective, partial quotations from the Mueller text amounted to brazen, dishonest sins of omission.
Barr has revealed himself as a partisan who is not to be trusted. Below, we republish his letter in full, with boldface additions of full sentences and context that Barr sanitized to mislead the public and please the president:
Video footage of Barr delivering his version of the report to the congress and the media [18 seconds].
How is the report playing in Peoria San Antonio you ask.
MySanAntonio.com: There is no vindication for Trump
Donald Trump’s claim of vindication by special counsel Robert Mueller’s report depends on some creative thinking. The president, it seems, is not guilty of conspiracy with the Russians to influence the 2016 election. He is only guilty of wishing really, really hard for Russian help and having his fondest desire miraculously granted.
On July 27, 2016, Trump made a public plea to the Russians to find Hillary Clinton’s missing emails. “Within approximately five hours of Trump’s statement,” the Mueller report reveals, “GRU (Russian intelligence) officers targeted for the first time Clinton’s personal office.”
This, evidently, doesn’t qualify as conspiracy. But can it really be a coincidence? Maybe it was the hand of Providence. Whatever the noncollusive reason, Trump clearly is a lucky, lucky man.
Good News for Workers
It’s really nice to see this muscle getting flexed.
Vox: The largest private sector strike in years is over. Supermarket workers won.
More than 30,000 Stop & Shop supermarket employees in the Northeast are returning to work after striking a deal, bringing an end to the largest private sector strike in years.
On Sunday evening, representatives from the United Food & Commercial Workers Union International said they had agreed on a tentative three-year contract with the company. The deal would keep employee health care and retirement benefits intact, provide wage increases instead of bonuses, and keep time-and-a-half pay for current employees who work on Sunday.
“Today is a powerful victory for the 31,000 hardworking men and women of Stop & Shop who courageously stood up to fight for what all New Englanders want — good jobs, affordable health care, a better wage, and to be treated right by the company they made a success,” the union said in a statement released Sunday.
From Jeffrey Epstein to Billy Barr
No longer just a herpes virus, Epstein-Barr is now a symptom of the infectious contingent of toadies, sycophants and fools surrounding the brazen liar currently usurping the rule of law in the United States.
The Cliff Notes on Epstein: Epstein is a pedophile. He used to hang out with tRump. tRump’s Labor Secretary illegally let Epstein off easy. tRump still loves Acosta. Extra detail: Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz defended Epstein.
Vox: Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex offender who is friends with Donald Trump and Bill Clinton, explained
Daily Beast: Alexander Acosta, Trump’s Labor Secretary, Broke the Law in Jeffrey Epstein Case: Judge
Politico: Trump: Acosta has 'done a great job as labor secretary'
The Cliff Notes on Barr: Barr is a political hack. He applied for the AG job by corruptly promising to absolve tRump. He corruptly absolved tRump.
Village Voice: Bill Barr: The “Cover-Up General”
Slate: William Barr Did What Donald Trump Hired Him to Do
Vanity Fair: Pelosi: No Reason To Trust Barr, That Boot-Licking Hack
Deadline: Donald Trump Goes ‘Game Of Thrones’ After Bill Barr Spins Robert Mueller Report To Media
Marcy Wheeler’s emptywheel: The Many Lies and Prevarications of Bill Barr
Someone clearly doesn’t understand what ‘best’ in ‘all the best people’ means.
Musical Interlude
Inspirational Interlude
Sometimes the foul stench rising from the cesspit of tRumpublican politics cries out for more music to counteract the corruption. Scratch that, it’s not sometimes, it’s all the time.
Rise Up — words and music by Roy Zimmerman and Melanie Harby. Performed by the Girls’ Choir of Wilmington.
Reporting from the Streets of DC
The International Sisterhood of Pussies Who Won’t Be Grabbed, Local 1919, released the following statement regarding the recent spate of large piles of rat hindquarters appearing outside every White House entrance: “We are not responsible for the actions of our four-legged auxiliary membership. While we completely support their right to free meows and their clear constitutional right to give rat’s asses, we do not condone the wholesale slaughter of the local rodent population just to make a political point.”
Spokeskitten Buttons, released this statement on behalf of Pussies Who Will Claw Your Eyes Out if You Try to Grab Them: “Mrrowl.”
A Secret Service spokesman speaking on background said: “At first it was a problem, but once we hit on the idea of frying them and telling Individual 1, they were chicken wings and that everyone else was spitting in his food, he’s been gorging on them. We are, however, worried that soon there won’t be enough rats left in DC to desert his ship.”
Spokesliar Sarah Slanders stated: “Rumors that the president smells like a dead rat’s ass are yet another case of fake news. In fact, all of his farts have a very pleasant aroma and all of us in the West Wing are extremely grateful whenever he deigns to fart directly into our faces.”
Interim Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney added: “The fleas I pick of the president’s pelt are extra crunchy now that he’s switched to a 100% chicken wing diet.”
Speech writer and designated white supremacist dog whistler, Stephen Miller, was too busy applying skin putty to all the places tRump has bit himself in the ass to reply to requests for comment. A new congressional investigation has been announced into the excessive cost of orange skin putty and the likelihood that the 10,000% markup is going directly into tRump’s new chicken wing purchase fund.
Turkey necked arachnid in a turtle suit, Addison McConnell poked his head out of the wattles and proclaimed: “We are going to make sure Obama is a one-term president.” and then asked his wife when his Chinese pension was due to vest.
Attorney General and professional coveruperer Barr absolved tRump of all guilt and proclaimed him as his personal savior.
When reached for comment, Ivanka responded: “I make Jared watch while daddy does it.”
Professional ghoul and personal counsel to the worst president in the history of the United States while professing his own preference for sucking blood from the necks of prepubescent girls allowed that: “Since I quit giving a rat’s ass about ethics years ago, my lord and master is welcome to all of the despicable rodents I share my home with. I’ll miss them, but I can find some spineless worms to take their place.”
Devin Nunes got his hand slapped for trying to take one of the ‘wings’ away from tRump. He cried inconsolably. It was wonderful.
Speaking from beyond the grave, Richard Nixon commented: “I had an enemies list. This moron has an enemas list.”
Short Takes
Donald Jr. has applied for help from the Witless Protection Program.
There is an upside to tRump’s imaginary bone spurs. Had he gone to Vietnam, he would have ended up getting his platoon killed.
From Billy Bush through to Bilious Billy Barr tRump has bookended his political life between straight up sleaze and egregious lies. His Bills are coming due.
tRump’s premature exoneration tour got so far out over his ski tips that he ended up crashing and rolling all the way into the parking lot, badly skinning his knees, elbows and face on the gravel. Unfortunately, his twitter thumbs made it through unscathed.
Dipstick Donnie just ran head on into Attorney General Barr, damaging Barr’s credibility enough for it to need hospitalization. It’s in traction and on life support. Barring a complete retraction, mea culpa and direct intercession from the Pope, it is not expected to survive. You can send your tots and pears to AG Barr’s Credibility at the Intensive Care Unit at Walter Reed Hospital, Attention: Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson.
Sewer dwelling guttersnipes Slanders and Conjob continue to regurgitate enough stone cold lies on a daily basis to void the warranty on their glass houses.
Descendants of all Republican presidents through Eisenhower (except for the relatives of Joseph McCarthy) are expected to file suit in Imaginary Court seeking to reclaim the name and message of the Republican Party and to force the current usurpers to call themselves republican and rebrand themselves as the White Indefensible Male Privilege Society.
Republicans have moved past holistic medicine and embraced the assholistic version.
Hell with ducks. If it lies like a republican; if it cheats like a republican; if it steals like a republican; it must be a threat to the planet.
When tRump refers to himself in the 3rd person, is he having an out-of-butt experience?
Boofy Kavanaugh suffers from fecal alcohol syndrome.
Tuesday Limerick Challenge
Now that countless members of the GNR community have expressed frustration with the format of the Limerick Challenge, the limerick preparation staff have acceded to their demands and replaced the format with one where contestants are given an opening line and a number of choices for the second line. Also the noprize awarded for participation has been upgraded into a super noprize. By no law whatsoever, we are waiting for the White House Press Office to garble explaining the changes before we clarify them as being the exact opposite of whatever comes out of that Slanders woman’s mouth.
Get ready. Get set. Go.
There once was a toady named Barr
- Whose lies would take him quite far
- Whose hero was a fellow named Starr
- Compromised by honor sup-par
Required Pet Photo
We are the dog. tRump is the ball. What do you think is going to happen next?
Quotes of the Day
Honesty has been seen as virtuous for thousands of years now. Our republican friends have lost touch with the universality of the sentiment. They stand condemned by the opinion of history.
Where is there dignity unless there is honesty? — Marcus Tullius Cicero
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. — Thomas Jefferson
When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind, as to [profess] things he does not believe, he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. — Thomas Paine
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. — Mark Twain
No man who is corrupt, no man who condones corruption in others, can possibly do his duty by the community. — Theodore Roosevelt
Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either. — Albert Einstein
If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power. — Dwight D. Eisenhower
Closing Notes
The indefatigable Yosef52 has some ideas for you.
We have some positive thoughts laying around the writing bunker, so we are forwarding them to {{{{oldhippiedude}}}} and {{{{Msdude}}}}
As is our tradition, we’ll let the lads play us out.
Disclaimer: NNNE Enterprises, LLC is not responsible for any sores, blisters or swollen knuckles resulting from frenzied authoring of letters to the editor after being inspired by the content of this Roundup.