Dear President Donald Trump
The Mar-a-Lago Club,
1100 South Ocean Boulevard,
Palm Beach, FL 33480
The Danish Government has reconsidered your proposal and given it a thorough evaluation. While we are not willing to sell Greenland, Denmark is willing to trade Greenland for Texas and Florida.
We believe this would be a win-win. You would be able to secure a lifetime supply of glacier-cubes for the cocktails you serve at Mar-a-Lago, and Danish citizens will have somewhere warm to go on holiday without passing through your immigration control.
Denmark promises to make Texas and Florida great again!
As these states become an integral part of the Kingdom of Denmark, we believe they have great potential. Our first task will be to disarm the deplorables and make these societies safe.
Then Denmark plans to upgrade public education, which you have sadly allow to deteriorate – even publishing school textbooks with False News. After all, educated voters who are able to exercise critical thinking are fundamental to a healthy democracy.
Naturally, Texans and Floridians will have to pay taxes to finance universal public healthcare. However, that is a modest price to pay for a caring, civilized society.
Please feel free to respond to our proposal with a legally binding Tweet.
Best regards,
Mette Frederiksen
Prime Minister, Denmark
PS. Next year Denmark will contact you to negotiate a trade deal. The New Danish States of Florida and Texas will be able to offer the USA vast quantities of clean energy from all the solar facilities that we are installing. You will soon be able to demolish all your coal-fired power plants and build more golf courses.