Energize An Ally Tuesday
Strange but true: people gotta eat. Really. I looked it up. People gotta eat. It gives 'em energy, keeps their organs functioning, boosts their immune system, all kinds of good stuff like that. I tell ya, the things you learn when your town's in lockdown. Who knew?
Also true: a lot of people don’t have enough to eat even when "times are good," let alone during epic, once-a-century pandemics. Me, I tend to suck at growing, preserving, packing, distributing, and cooking food—my skills are mostly limited to tearing open plastic bags with the word Brach's on them. So that's why I'm happy Feeding America is around. They're damn good at all of the above, even during pandemics, and that's why we're putting our Tuesday C&J spotlight on them this week. Here's what they're doing:
Continued…
Feeding America [has] announced the establishment of the COVID-19 Response Fund to help food banks across the country as they support communities impacted by the pandemic. Still, it is impossible for the Feeding America network to address this pandemic without public and government support, so that food banks can do what they do best—feed people in need within their communities.
Many may not realize food-insecure households are likely more susceptible to the virus. This is believed to be due to lesser access to adequate health care, lower resistance or compromised immune systems, stigma or bias, or lack of information about proper prevention and care.
In addition, school closures, job disruptions, lack of paid sick leave and the coronavirus’ disproportionate impact on adults age 60 and older and low-income families further contribute to the demands placed on food banks. Lost wages or sudden expenses due to illness will be increasingly burdensome for the millions of people in America who live paycheck to paycheck, especially when, according to the Federal Reserve, 40 percent of Americans don’t have enough cash on hand to cover a $400 emergency expense.
Today the C&J household is making a $50 donation to Feeding America, and we encourage you to help out as you're able. The main donation link is here. Or, to support a specific community directly, you can use the Feeding America food bank locator at this link. You can also follow them for updates on Twitter here and the evil Facebook here.
Needless to say, the earlier they can get out in front of this madness, the better off everyone will be. Many thanks.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Note: Your left pinky wants you to know that every time you wash your hands it gets a tingle up its cuticle, for which it thanks you most kindly. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the new June 23 date for the New York primary: 84
Percent of Americans polled by ABC News-WaPost who say they're maintaining more distance from other people because of the coronavirus: 93%
Approval in Massachusetts for how President Trump and Gov. Charlie Baker (R) are responding to the coronavirus outbreak, according to the latest Suffolk U./Boston Globe poll: 28%, 80%
Current numbers in the latest Biden-Trump match-up, according to a survey of registered voters by Fox News: 49%-40%
Number of people in India's Punjab region quarantined because one Sikh priest got it in Italy and refused to self-quarantine: 40,000
Babe Ruth's highest salary: $80,000 (1931-32)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Quarantinus Workus Interruptus…
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CHEERS to propaganda fail. The network news executives may be going out of their way to make Trump look normal (it keeps the horse race with Biden looking closer, don'tcha know), but a large majority of Americans aren't buying the spin, according to Sam Stein at The Daily Kraken. They (we) know that tests aren't available, a vaccine is a long way off, and warm weather isn’t going to save us, according to the Ipsos numbers. Conclusion:
A clear majority of the American public, including self-identified Republicans, do not believe the disinformation that President Donald Trump keeps pushing around the spread of coronavirus. And even members of the president’s own party are skeptical of his argument that getting the country back to work needs to be as prioritized as public safety measures. […]
Collectively, the results present a portrait of a public that is sober minded about the coronavirus and unpersuaded by talk that life could return to normalcy soon.
Another ominous sign for Putin’s pet: despite all his crowing and posturing and pretending to be a "war president" during the worst American crisis since the Great Depression, he still can't climb past 45 percent approval. Damn bone spurs.
CHEERS to sayin' it plain. Gabe Brown is the mayor of Walton, Kentucky, and he's in no mood to give high-falutin' speeches while giving out keys to the city or read flowery speeches while cutting ribbons at supermarket grand openings. Walton, like everywhere else in America, is now Pandemic Town, and Mayor Brown cracked open Facebook to slap some sense into his residents (and anyone else who reads his message, which has gone viral). A snip:
Listen up dipshits and sensible people. I might not have the best bedside manor. I might not put you at ease like the Governor does, but I don’t care. You need to realize that this is a serious ordeal. In fact, it’s a big f**cking deal. Stay at home. […]
This will pass. Take it seriously. It is here. Act like you have the virus and don’t spread it to other people. I have no doubt that it hasn’t already been here, but testing had been limited. More cases are coming. If you ignore this problem, the worst thing that could happen is that your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles could die. Be responsible. If you don’t, then screw you.
Golly, does he really need to use such harsh language to get people to pay attention? I'll give you a hint: he's talking to Americans.
CHEERS to champions of the little guy. Happy 93rd birthday to the late Cesar Chavez. He founded the National Farm Workers Association, which gave a voice to migrant farm workers. He also used a spiffy motto (coined, we should note, by Dolores Huerta) that might sound familiar: "Sise puede!"—Yes we can! These days we could use all the Chavezes we can get, and the anti-Trump resistance movement is certainly busy producing some. Unfortunately, as with all public events…
The Foundation will be postponing the Cesar Chavez Legacy Awards Gala until September 2020.
We look forward to this annual event as it gives the Foundation staff and our friends an opportunity to enjoy an evening together and honor individuals who embody the legacy of Cesar Chavez.
Though we are disappointed that we have to postpone this event, the Cesar Chavez Foundation is taking all necessary precautions to minimize the possibility of COVID-19 exposure to guests, honorees, and staff.
Pay your respects here. Today in his honor: total boycott of lettuce and grapes. Yes...even for the squirrels on the roof.
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BRIEF HAND WASH BREAK
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END BRIEF HAND WASH BREAK
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CHEERS to today's edition of Gee, He Says That Like It's A Bad Thing. Courtesy of Joe.My.God:
Former Speaker Newt Gingrich (R) on Monday said he thinks Democratic “radicals” in the House will attempt to “blackmail the country” and President Trump into signing “a new bill with everything they’ve ever wanted in life” in the next action to address the coronavirus crisis.
“I think it’s very likely that the House, where the radicals are in control, would love to blackmail the country. … They’re salivating at the idea that they could produce a new bill with everything they’ve ever wanted in life and somehow blackmail the president into signing it."
This has been today's edition of Gee, He Says That Like It's A Bad Thing.
CHEERS to fun in the sun. On March 31, 1917, the U.S. took possession of what are now the U.S. Virgin Islands (not to be confused with the inferior British Virgin Islands) from Denmark for $25 million. Residents there—who are considered U.S. citizens—are allowed to vote in presidential primaries but not the general election. Which is like your parents giving you a scoop of freezer-burned vanilla ice cream on your birthday while your siblings get a big bowl of Chunky Monkey with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, nuts, Oreos and gummi bears wrapped in hundred-dollar bills. Damn. I thought I'd blotted that day out. Time to ring up my therapist on Zoom again.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 31, 2010
JEERS to whiners in high places. You remember, as I do, how "moderate" Republican Maine Senator Olympia Snowe was wined and dined and coddled and cooed by the Obama White House and the Democratic Senate leadership during the health insurance reform push.
Her vote was so coveted ("Then we can call it a bipartisan bill" went the logic) that she became better known as "President Snowe." Her big beef was the evil public option, and despite sending her chocolates and flowers every day for a year and even giving the public option the heave-ho, she still voted "Fuck you, uninsured Americans." And now she's explaining why to the Portland Press Herald: because Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi were mean to her. Perhaps in your fantasy universe, Ma'am. But here in the real world, when history called, you simply sat there and let the answering machine pick up. You can relax, Margaret Chase Smith—your legacy as Maine's finest woman legislator remains intact.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to them's who crossed the finish line first. It's a well-established fact by now that C&J's "Who won the week" poll, introduced 12 years ago this week, is considered America's 500-pound gorilla of weekly polls. Every Friday we pluck a gaggle of worthy candidates from the previous seven-day news cycle and affix them to their place of honor on the front page. The candidate who gets the most votes wins. Period. No electoral college here—fuck that.
I can't really remember what inspired me to create the first one, but today it's a feel-good feature that stands shoulder-to-shoulder with such time-honored American traditions as stickball, setting pies on window sills to cool, and following competent and popular Democratic presidents with Republican shitbags. As we leave behind the first quarter of 2020, let's take a moment to review the winners from January through March, during which C&J experienced an "All of the Above" pandemic to no one's horror or disappointment:
Jan 3 Anybody who's glad to see 2019 in the rear-view mirror
Jan 10 The Australian and international firefighters battling the historic bushfires, and animal rescuers
Jan 17 Rachel Maddow and former Giuliani "fixer" Lev Parnas, for interviews during which new revelations brought the Trump Ukraine scandal into shocking new perspective
Jan 24 The Democratic impeachment managers: Jeffries, Demings, Garcia, Nadler, Crow, Lofgren, and especially Adam Schiff, for winning raves as they made their case against Trump
Jan 31 The House impeachment managers, for fighting during Trump's trial to protect and defend the Constitution as Trump's lawyers were busy shredding it
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Feb 7 Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who tore up her copy of the SOTU when Captain Adderall was done gaslighting America...and Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer for a fine Democratic rebuttal
Feb 14 Michael Marando, Aaron Zelinsky, Jonathan Kravis, and Adam Jed, the federal prosecutors on the Roger Stone case who resigned after AG Bill Barr interfered for political reasons
Feb 21 Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who treated eye-rolling billionaire Michael Bloomberg to a rhetorical knuckle sandwich at a debate in Las Vegas
Feb 28 The war against "very fine people," as confederate symbols are banned from Marine Corps bases, and the FBI nabs 5 American Nazi terrorists for targeting government leaders, churches, and journalists
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March 6 Joe Biden, whose endorsement by Rep. Jim Clyburn in South Carolina resulted in a groundswell of support that propelled him to 11 primary wins in four days and a substantial lead in delegates
March 13 All of the above (related to heroes of the coronavirus outbreak)
March 20 All of the above (most related to heroes of the coronavirus outbreak)
March 27 All of the above (most related to heroes of the coronavirus outbreak)
By the way, "Senator" Barack Obama won our first poll in 2008, and by the time he left office he'd won 84 polls voted on by the Daily Kos community, making him indisputably first in the hearts of our countrymen. (Sorry, George Washington, but we're just not into your "uniformity in weights and measures" shtick anymore.)
Oh, and happy birthday to my sane senator, Angus King, who has the most unintentionally egotistical party-state designation in the chamber: (I-ME). And many blessings on your camels. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“God is not mocked. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will not inherit the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool.”
—Irvin Baxter
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