I think “Shitshow” is not the best metaphor for the situation we find ourselves in with Reade’s alllegations against Biden. “Hornet’s Nest” is much more apt. People have very strong feelings about her allegations. There are a lot of good reasons for this.
Even sexual trauma survivors are divided on Reade. Some identify so strongly with her that they cannot hear anything to challenge her narrative. Others are angry with her for her complete disregard for the #MeToo movement, evident in her attacks on prominent women who don’t immediately come to her side. Count me in the second group.
I’ve also seen a lot of anger, even over this being discussed, among Democrats that don’t identify publicly as survivors. I can really understand this, too. I see caricatures of Democrats and their response to this allegation in my Facebook feed everyday. It’s infuriating. For years, sexual assault victims have been in Catch-22 in whether to speak out or stay silent. Now we find ourselves in a Catch-22 in trying to speak about this these allegations with some discernment. Any examination of Tara Reade and her motives can get us marked as rape apologists, perpetrators. This, understandably, makes us angry.
We need to get to conversations about this which are both/and rather than either/or. What does this mean? It is very unlikely that any investigation, absent a secret recording of some kind, will give us a definitive answer as to whether Tara Reade is telling the truth in her allegation. We can speculate about motives, intentional versus unintentional lying, whether someone other than Biden assaulted her, and we still don’t know. I might know which way I’m leaning regarding her allegations, and it would also be foolish to say I know for sure. It is possible that she is reporting some version of truth, and I still think she is manipulative and calculating in the timeline of her changing narrative.
Can we say that about a possible sexual assault victim? We are kind of screwed if we can’t. Reade has said that she wants her allegations to be treated in the same way Blasey Ford’s were. She is not like Blasey Ford in such a multitude of ways, and it is isn’t just about our guy versus their guy. In contrast to Reade, Blasey Ford clearly did not what the spotlight on her, and her narrative was coherent and consistent. Reade’s narrative has been neither coherent or consistent, and trying to apply a theoretical sexual trauma psychology template over her inconsistencies to try to make sense of them is strained logic, at best. The explanation about why she came out with her sexual assault allegation now instead of a year ago, ostensibly because she was discouraged by a reporter, makes absolutely no sense, given her way of presenting herself. There is nothing to suggest that she is easily intimidated. She aggressively calls people out on social media. She calls out prominent women who haven’t rushed to her side. Even without going into her previous litigations, it is easy to see that she is no shrinking violet from conflict. She is coming for Biden. She is coming for prominent women in the Democratic Party. She is coming for the #MeToo movement if she doesn’t feel they are giving her equal treatment to Blasey Ford and others.
I can just hear those that think we just don’t give her oxygen, then she and this goes away. Maybe? But we just have to look at the rise of Donald Trump to see the danger in underestimating what the appeal of a divisive figure (and those that use her to sow chaos and further their own agenda) like this can be.
We shouldn’t pretend this isn’t happening, and we also need to resist falling into behaving like the caricatures of Democrats being presented in media. I think there is a path forward that redefines the conversation. The way we do this is to leave the arena of trying to prove who is telling the truth, which is a bit like trying to discern the existence of Schrodinger’s cat in the box. Democrats can address this by leading a discussion that gets to the meta-level of how we, as a culture, talk about these kinds of allegations. #Metoo had some wonderful, simple hashtags aimed at raising consciousness about the impact of widespread sexual assault, harassment and abuse that women were afraid to talk about. And those same hashtags have been reified in a way that allows allegations to be weaponized. This hurts everyone, including victims. The next step in the conversation is to get beyond the hashtags and acknowledge the complexity of talking about and taking these kinds of allegations seriously.