A year ago today, my son was born. It was a day that was full of beauty while being terrifying at the same time. My wife had to have an emergency C-section because of a case of severe preeclampsia that had the potential to threaten her life and the life of our son. She ended up being hospitalized for six days, while our son was born five weeks premature and was admitted to the NICU for six days himself. Those were some of the longest and scariest days I’ve ever lived through, much longer and harder than when my wife and I lived through Hurricane Harvey, or the days immediately following my father’s death in 2014. But out of those days, we found our strength as the parents to an amazing and beautiful son. My life changed irrevocably one year ago today, and its one of the most wonderful and amazing things that’s ever happened in my life.
While my wife was pregnant, I decided that I would write my son a series of letters and emails at various important dates in his life. I shared the first letter I wrote to him here last February, and I thought to honor my son’s first birthday, I’d share the letter than I wrote to him for his first birthday today.
Son,
I haven't written you an email in a while, your Mom and I have been busy watching you grow up so fast. It's really amazing how much you've grown in just a year. You can do things now that you couldn't do just a few weeks or months ago.
I wanted to write you today to let you know about what's going on in the world. I know by the time you read this email, all of this will be history to you, but you're living through it right now.
Right now the world is a scary place. While you're too young to be scared by what's going, it's scary for your Mom, and it's scary for me. Before I continue, I want you to know that it's never wrong or bad to admit when something scares you. It doesn't show weakness, in fact acknowledging that you're scared and doing the right thing anyways shows great strength, and is something to be very proud of.
So what's so scary about the world right now?
First, there is a virus going around called COVID19. It's a very scary bug that has made many people very sick and has cost many people their lives. I won't get into specifics about what it does to people because you can look that up if you'd like to. But in order to protect ourselves, and most importantly you, your Mom and I have been staying inside and only going out when we need to for almost four months now. It's been very tough being stuck inside and not being able to do the fun things that we usually do, like see our friends, allow you to play with other people, or even take you anywhere but your doctor's office, but it's the right thing to do to protect our family and other people around us. There are people who refuse to do the simple things like stay at home, or wear face masks to help protect our community. Your Mom and I are not those people, and we're raising you not to be one of them either. You have a responsibility to be aware and mindful of how your actions impact other people. One silver lining of this situation is that we, and especially your Mom, have gotten to spend more time with you than we would otherwise. I won't speak for your Mom, but I suspect that she'd tell you that she wouldn't trade that extra time with you for anything.
Second, there are protests about how the police treat black people much worse than white people. Police are much more likely to treat black people that they stop more violently than white people. This racism is a dark stain on our nation's history that started hundreds of years before you were born. I'm sure that your Mom and I will have talked to you about this by the time you read this email, but if you learn nothing else from me as a father, I want you to learn, and take this to heart, that every single human life is precious. I don't care if they're black, white, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, it does NOT matter. Every single person that you meet, and those you will never meet, has value and worth. But far too many times, in far too many ways, in our country non-white people are treated like their lives don't matter. As a human being, and especially as a white man in America, you have a special responsibility to stand with non-white people and fight against anyone and everyone who wants to spread racism and bigotry. That means that you need to listen and be an ally to those fighting against racism. It's not always popular or easy, but it's your solemn moral obligation to stand up for what's right.
Last, the man who is currently President, Donald Trump, is a truly loathsome person. Like with the other things I mentioned above, I'm sure that your Mom and I will have talked to you about him by the time you read this, but know that whenever you learn about him in school or by talking with us, he is the absolute opposite of the kind of person that your Mom and I want you to be. I won't go into great detail about why that is in this letter, but he is a man who wants to grab and hold power at the cost of spreading hatred and violence amongst Americans. He's a weak man's idea of strong, a fool's idea of smart, and a liar's idea of honest. He and the people that have spent the past three and a half years propping him up in power have nothing but contempt and disdain for the lives and safety of our fellow Americans and the very concept of democracy. I truly hope by the time you read this email, that the stain of his time in office has begun to wear off and that our country is in a better place.
In short, even though we are currently living in scary times, your Mom and I will do everything we possibly can to make sure that you have a safe and happy childhood growing up. We won't do it perfectly and we won't get everything right, but we love you from the bottoms of our hearts, and we will always try to do our best for you. We want you to be the type of person who does good in the world, who cares for and helps others, and who ends up leaving the world a better place. That's what it means to be a man in my book, and that's all your Mom and I could ever ask from you.
I love you son, and I want to make sure you always know that.
Love,
Dad