… but are you planning to change your mind again, after being convinced by Mr. Cipollone and Mr. Herschmann not to offer sweeping pardons – at the last minute – to everyone connected with you and the January 6th insurrection?
Poor, poor you! Deprived of even that last consolation, and of people who’ve turned down your invitation to attend your send-off, you must be so very sad. My heart bleeds for you, really it does. Poor, little baby Dumpy-wumpy!
It must be so hard to actually face the fact that almost nobody likes you (though your sycophantic lackeys seem to be very adept at faking it, or perhaps, you just don’t even notice) — okay, I’m wrong. Mr. MyPillow loves you, bless his shriveled little soul. He must be scrambling around trying to find “evidence” to attach to his emails to NBC News. Wait! There’s that illegible sheet of rain-washed paper — is it an irate customer’s letter? Who cares! Attach it to your email, Mr. MyPillow!
And that darling daughter of yours — wonder what she, along with your other terrified ego-boosting children, plan to do next. Will she, and they, deny you three times before the rooster crows? Everyone else has — well, Mitch, anyway!
Anyway, have a good flight tomorrow. Too bad you didn’t try to redeem yourself even the tiniest bit. As Harry Potter said to Voldemort, “...try for remorse.”
That might save you.
On the other hand, it might not. You don’t have it in you, alas!
Tomorrow, after noon, we will see decisiveness and intelligence. We’ll see actual plans to make America #BuildBackBetter. We will see grace and empathy shining the national spotlight again.
Of course, you won’t be watching. So, off with you. We grown-ups have important things to do.
BREAKING: Dagnabit, this showed up on my news feed! Bannon needs to be banned from public life!