My very first diary here lamented the change my parents had undergone — turning from open-minded, liberal, progressives into, well, republicans. And while it was annoying when certain topics came up for discussion, we tended to just avoid those topics, cherishing our family bonds above all else. I felt sometimes they were even pulling my leg a little, tossing something out just to watch me say in (sometimes mock, for my part) disbelief, “What happened to you?”
On the plus side, they are actually referring to President-elect Biden as President-elect Biden — they aren’t so far gone that they are spouting utter nonsense.
But, on the negative side, they are so far gone that our relationship is gone. We will probably write polite emails on the right dates and so forth, but they have picked their politics over me and my family, and we will never be the same. I will never be the same. My heart is broken.
And for that I hate the right wing. I hate them forever. They didn’t just change my parents’ political views, they changed my parents*. And they took them away from me.
And what I hate the right-wing for above all else is what they used to bait the hook and what they used to drive us apart. Our faith. My parents’ faith. My faith.
And oh! It isn’t that one of us suddenly lost it or one of us suddenly found it. No. Our shared faith was the glue that held our family together — it was the most important thing — it is the most important thing to all of us. But the right wing has (blasphemously) appropriated the mantle of prophet — and mixed it with all of their other poison. And with that poisonous brew they did worse than kill or dampen the faith we shared. No, they did much worse. They corrupted it, they turned it into the very wedge that drove us apart. My parents are still Christians — and holding on to that ever more tightly. I am still a Christian — and I am holding on to that ever more tightly**. Yet now we are holding on tightly against each other, rather than with each other — and rather than to each other.
I know there are many others here who have lost friends or family because of the right wing — and the right has many different tools for destroying relationships. But, ah! the pain is so bright and sharp right now. I just have to let something out. Thank you for letting me rant.
This is just the start of what will, in essence, be a mourning process and at some point I will move past the anger and hatred I feel right now (and bearing that hatred for very long will change me for the worse — and essentially give the right wing another victory — so I must move past it). But today I don't think I can. Today I hurt. Today I grieve. Today I hate the right wing.
(*) Yes, of course, my parents are free moral agents and can make their own choices and decisions. But the right wing propaganda machine is deliberate, manipulative, and effective. And that machine is made all the more effective by the fear they sow, fear that is nurtured and amplified by economic and health insecurity engendered by republican policies.
(**) Yes, it is possible to be a Christian and progressive. I am progressive because I am a Christian — I don’t see how it is possible to do otherwise.