In an exclusive interview with this reporter, a Republican who witnessed Wednesday’s vote in the House Republican Caucus Dungeon spoke candidly today on the condition that he or she remain shameless, has now shared exclusive details of the meeting between Obi-Wan LizCheney and House Minority Leader and Republican Stooge Trooper Darth KenMcVader.
Most observers believed that the outcome of the vote to remove Obi-Wan Cheney from her Republican leadership position was a foregone conclusion, and that Cheney’s “pitiful” rebellion would be easily smashed. It was widely believed that no Republican could resist the president-in-temporary-exile, the immoral and mentally ill Trumplestilskin, who had mastered the power of the evil “Farce.”
The confrontation began when Darth KenMcVader accosted Cheney as she entered the dungeon and he said, “Your powers are weak old woman. Once I was the learner and you were the master, but now I am the master. ”
Cheney replied, “You can't win, Darth KenMcVader. If you vote me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
McVader was momentarily taken aback. He replied, “As my former master, you know as well as anyone that my powers of imagination are sadly lacking. Not to mention thinking ahead or just thinking in general.”
Obi-Wan Cheney said, “ I do know you well Darth KenMcVader. I wish I could say that I see good in you, but I honestly can’t. You are a pitiful, hopeless mess.”
McVader said, “Well, that may be true, but Trumplestilskin has deployed powerful allies, including Sith Darth Cruise, Sith Darth Hawley and Sith Darth Gaetz. They are as mean as they are ugly, inside and out. Join with me and together we can rule the political universe! Or at least the Republican party. If you only knew the power of the “Farce,”
Cheney replied, “I will never join you! I will never join your evil Republican empire! I will be the real Republican Party’s “New Hope,” and I will resist no matter how hard your evil, hoax of a Republican “Empire Strikes Back.” “
A voice vote was taken and Obi-Wan Cheney was removed from her leadership position.
Darth KenMcVader approached Obi-Wan Cheney and said, “No hard feelings, Liz? You wanna go for a Bantha ride like old times.”
Obi Wan Cheney’s reply was inaudible.