Ayuh. Sad But True…
Maine has its share of horrible, terrible, no-good numbskulls. They're especially annoying in the wake of the two terms of ill will inflicted on us by mini-Trump Governor Paul LePage because, like Trump, he basically gave them permission to be horrible, terrible, no-good numbskulls with bullhorns instead of dog whistles. The latest case in point: this lousy lady with no apparent historical knowledge, perspective, empathy, or self-awareness:
The New England chapter of the Anti-Defamation League is calling on Republican state Rep. Heidi Sampson to apologize for comparing Democratic Gov. Janet Mills and her sister to German doctors who performed experiments on Jews during the Holocaust.
Sampson appeared at a State House protest this week prompted by the governor’s recent announcement requiring health care workers in Maine to get vaccinated for COVID-19 by Oct. 1.
Continued...
Sampson likened the COVID vaccine requirement to experiments performed by Nazi doctors on Jews during the Holocaust and likened the governor to Josef Mengele, the so-called Angel of Death, or Joseph Goebbels, an acolyte of Adolf Hitler.
The Anti-Defamation League called the comparison “offensive, ignorant and incomparable to the events that took place during the Holocaust.”
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to say this: on behalf of the State of Maine I apologize, America, for the willful ignorance of yet another Republican from our otherwise great state. We promise to work tirelessly to airlift her brain back into her head. Just as soon as we can find it.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 25, 2021
Note: Why did the knitting club never produce any hats, mittens, sweaters, or scarves? Because they were too busy sitting around spinning yarns. (This concludes the brief and tragic standup career of Bill in Portland Maine. Thank you and good night.)
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Labor Day weekend: 9
Days 'til the Gettysburg Wine & Music Festival in Pennsylvania: 17
Percent of Georgians over 18 who are now registered to vote: 95%
Percent chance Georgia Republican officials can now overturn the results of elections even if all of those registered voters vote for the Democrat: 100%
Rank of an anti-vaxxer's post among most shared posts on Facebook in the first quarter of 2021: #1
Portion of U.S. households that acquired a dog or cat during the pandemic: 1-in-5
Year during which drummer Charlie Watts, who died this week at 80, joined the Rolling Stones: 1963
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 178 (including 5 Moral Standards Violations and 1 "Miracles Happen Blanket” to go with your MyPillow). Soul Protection Factor 30 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: At the Hotel Monaco in Denver, it's Puppies and Prosecco time…
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CHEERS to sending in Spook #1. I'm just checking my Afghanistan Withdrawal Bingo card here and…nope, I do not see a square marked "CIA Director Meets Secretly with Taliban Leader in Kabul" on it. But that's what happened Monday as the United States of Arrogance continued to scramble its way out of the country we called home-away-from-home for 20 years. And what did they discuss? I dunno, but here's a bit of background from CBS News:
[Abdul Ghani] Baradar, a longtime Taliban official, was arrested by the CIA in a joint operation with Pakistan's intelligence service in 2010 in Karachi. He went free in 2018 after the U.S. pushed for his release while starting talks with the Taliban. The Washington Post first reported Monday's meeting with [CIA director William] Burns.[…]
Burns is the first career diplomat to lead the CIA, having served as deputy secretary of state from 2011 to 2014 after spending more than three decades at the State Department. In his memoir, "The Back Channel," he describes the secret bilateral talks he led with Iran during the Obama administration alongside Jake Sullivan, now President Biden's national security adviser. The talks eventually paved the way to the nuclear deal with Tehran.
As for what information Baradar and Burns exchanged that, if made public, could save countless lives and make the transition run more smoothly and safely? They’re not saying. As is usual practice these days, they'll wait to reveal it in their future tell-all books.
CHEERS to baptism under fire water. With Hurricane Henri finally in the rear-view mirror and the Atlantic momentarily calm, this seems like a good time to kick the tires and check behind the ears of Joe Biden's FEMA director, who was confirmed in April. Lo and behold, it appears Deanne Criswell—FEMA's first FEMAle head (see what I did there?)—seems up to the task:
» Served as the Commissioner of the New York City Emergency Management Department from 2019 to 2021, managing the City's response to emergencies including extreme summer heat, large fires, and power outages including blackouts on the west side of Manhattan and in southern Brooklyn in July 2019.
» Led the coordination of the NYC’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, preventing the collapse of the healthcare system, making sure no New Yorker went hungry, establishing a first of its kind non-congregate sheltering program, and supporting the country’s largest mass fatality program.
» Served at FEMA as the leader of one of the Agency's National Incident Management Assistance Teams as the primary Federal representative responsible for responding to disasters—from severe flooding in North Dakota to hurricanes in South Carolina to fires in Colorado.
» Member of Colorado Air National Guard from 1992-2013, achieving rank of Senior Master Sergeant.
» Served 21 years as a firefighter and Deputy Fire Chief.
» BS from Colorado State University—Fort Collins, MPA from University of Colorado—Denver, MS from the Naval Postgraduate School, Center for Homeland Defense and Security.
But the most promising sign that she might actually be a competent FEMA director: absolutely no affiliation with the Arabian Horse Association. Heckuva job, Deanne. Like, for real.
CHEERS to throwing the bums out. Nine weeks after D-Day, on Aug. 25, 1944, Paris was liberated by the Allies during World War II. However, in his famous liberation speech Charles de Gaulle barely mentioned America or its other allies. Gee, thanks a lot. (But please don’t remind the Republicans in Congress or they'll try to change the cafeteria menu back to freedom fries.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to loving the smell of jail bars in the morning. Well, damn…
The leader of the far-right Proud Boys was sentenced Monday to more than five months in jail after admitting that he burned a Black Lives Matter banner taken from a historic Black church in Washington during a pro-Trump demonstration in December. [...]
[Henry "Enrique"] Tarrio, 37, of Miami, also pleaded guilty to attempting to possess a high-capacity gun magazine, which is illegal in Washington. Investigators said he had the magazines with him when he returned to the city for the Jan. 6 protests of the electoral vote count in Congress.
Golly, that's too bad, said nobody.
CHEERS to beautifully warped minds. Happy birthday to Director Tim Burton, who turns a sprightly 63 today. Ed Wood and Beetlejuice remain two of our all-time favorites, but most of his flicks are feats of imagination that boggle the Billy mind, even if the whole doesn’t quite hit the mark (see Willy Wonka and Dumbo). But if I were stranded on the proverbial desert island and could only have one Burton DVD, it'd be no contest—Mars Attacks!
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And this just in: 33 years after they made the original, apparently the gang's getting back together for a sequel to Beetlejuice. But only if we all say it out loud three times.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 25, 2011
JEERS to a child's worst enemy: gravity. A researcher at Nationwide Children's Hospital was sitting in his office one day, looking out an open window and wondering, "Gee, I wonder how many kids fall out of those." Turns out, lots! Five thousand kids fall from windows every year. To put that in perspective, that's the annual number of politicians and preachers who fall from grace.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the "Lion of the Senate." As time goes on, fewer and fewer of us 'Muricans will remember that Ted Kennedy owned that title for much of his 47-year career there. So I'll keep bringing it up, especially on his birthday and also on today's date—the 12-year anniversary of his passing from brain cancer at 77. With a little assist from President Obama, who said at Ted's funeral:
"The world will long remember their son Edward as the heir to a weighty legacy; a champion for those who had none; the soul of the Democratic Party; and the lion of the United States Senate—a man who graces nearly 1,000 laws, and who penned more than 300 laws himself."
To mark the occasion, a couple snips of vintage Ted:
On the Iraq war: "There was no imminent threat. This was made up in Texas, announced in January to the Republican leadership that war was going to take place and was going to be good politically. This whole thing was a fraud."
On health care reform: "This is the cause of my life—new hope that we will break the old gridlock and guarantee that every American—North, South, East, West, young, old—will have decent, quality health care as a fundamental right and not a privilege."
And one of my favorite pics, from 2009 when Ted was one of Barack Obama’s biggest supporters. The grizzled veteran passing on wisdom to the newbie...
Obamacare is now in full effect for the long haul (and will likely soon be expanded under #44’s former VP, now known as #46), and I imagine that card-carrying 5-digit UID Kossack Ted would be pleased over the numbers, but also impatient to improve it and furious at Republicans for trying to gut it over and over so they can give their billionaire buddies more tax cuts. For the first 45 years of my life Ted Kennedy was always in Washington, "voice bellowing through the Senate chamber, face reddened, fist pounding the podium, a veritable force of nature" (Obama's words again). He was both a battering ram and a master of jiu jitsu. (Watch him tear into Donald Rumsfeld here.) And also a guy you'd never turn down having a beer with. Even though I'm not from Massachusetts, he still felt like "my" senator. His "vim and vigah" are sorely missed. Cheers, Ted. And say hi to your brothers—they were pretty good, too.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"You'll see me in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool and I will not leave until Bill in Portland Maine is convicted and jailed."
—Roger Stone
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