When I was a young person I tried to believe the stories told by people like Billy Graham. I mentioned my struggles several times and wrote a diary on the subject of Faith several years ago (See: www.dailykos.com/...) My mother listened to and later watched (after we got a small black and white TV in 1958) Billy Graham’s crusades (but, to be fair, even she found some branches of Christianity worrisome.) And so I attempted to ask forgiveness and do a symbolic alter call. It never stuck and so I became convinced that I would never be saved. I was bound for Hell for certain and could never be redeemed. Fortunately, I wound up in college and with the broadening of my experience the trappings of evangelism fell from me. However I was already doubting before I stepped into my first class (a zoology class). I also had a very good Anthropology instructor and the comparison of cultures made me think more. I had a few moments of trying to reconnect with that faith when I was at the University of Arizona when a young woman that I knew convinced me to join her at the campus Christian center for a then popular event at the time, the encounter group. It was more like a group therapy session. Among other things I noticed that the minister in charge always managed to hold the hands of attractive female students. I did gain one bit of help from the experience, and that was that the library for the center was the perfect place to study as there usually was absolutely nobody there!
My contact with people of other beliefs and cultures soon had me largely liberated from the thought that I was damned. My mother had worried that my contact with evolutionary thought would contaminate me, but she was more worried that I would meet girls and become involved in sexual activity. I did meet the girls, but my social awkwardness kept me from doing much about it. I spent most of my free time studying and several times ignored direct invitations that I feared would led somewhere and get some poor female involved with my family drama- I admit it, I was a coward. However, worms can turn and I did so in graduate school. I’ve discussed that in several earlier diaries so I will say no more.
The one problem is that even after evangelicals are out of your system, if you are a victim of their control you still have vestiges of their teachings haunting you. I am now 95% sure that the God of the Bible is a construct, but I cannot say there are no gods, goddesses, or some entity like them because as God says to Job “Were you there when I laid down the foundations of the earth?” The universe is vast and if there is some supreme entity, I doubt that we could understand it anyway. As Zen Buddhists might say, it is an unanswerable question, and so deserves little to no attention. The only really important question being “How should I live.”
My main point for this diary, however, is that despite my attempts to believe, I had a growing suspicion fairly early that evangelical preachers and activists could be dangerous if they extrapolated their world view into violent action. Apparently they can be convinced that they are tools of their God to bring about the second coming of Christ, or for saving the country for Christ (See:www.rollingstone.com/...) . Alternatively they can become simply con men and women who use the uncertainty of life to steal from their congregation. Or perhaps some are both true believers as well as being con men or women. As my anthropology instructor said, “If you want to get rich, move to California and start a religion,” although now it may be more Texas or Florida. I have never really understood why an all-powerful entity needed people to cause change for him.
These ideas can be easily used by authoritarians to their advantage. Some of the televangelists have actually been found guilty of fraud (See: en.wikipedia.org/...) and quite a few have been involved in sexual scandals. However, while these actions were pretty bad, the possibility of imposing religion-based authoritarian governments on a country is much worse. We have seen this in just about all religious movements from Hinduism through the Abrahamic faiths. Even Buddhists are not immune. It is a human failing and often a cause of them versus us wars and oppression of their own countries, as well as terrorist acts.
Fanatics are always a danger in any group, but in religion it is especially so, because people are not comfortable with the uncertainties of existence, and want to cling to any idea that will promise eternal life. That there is an existence on another plane and that the believer can attain that blessed state is a very seductive idea. That departed loved ones will meet you there and that you will live in bliss forever sounds wonderful. I well understand the wish for such a state and sympathize with it. It was an idea that I tried to embrace and I cannot say that the image is impossible, but it is highly unlikely. In reality we may have to live with a chaotic universe where our atoms will eventually become part of other things.
All I can say, from my perspective only, is that I am OK with that. Let the mystery be. I fully subscribe in the epitaph:
An honest man here lies at rest,
As e’er God with His image blest:
The friend of man, the friend of truth;
The friend of age, and guide of youth:
Few hearts like his, with virtue warm’d,
Few heads with knowledge so inform’d:
If there’s another world, he lives in bliss;
If there is none, he made the best of this.
Robert Burns
In the meantime beware of evangelists who say that they know the will of God. Even their own holy book throws shade at such ideas, with Christ warning that “Many will come in my name ...” and “You will not know the hour..”