There are lots of things we blame our parents for when we grow up. For a while I’m pretty sure I blamed mine for everything that went wrong with my life. But as time has rolled on like old man river, and I crossed into my second half-century I’ve come to realize that there are only two things that I can charitably blame my dad for. 1) He made me a fan of the Dallas Cowboys at the age of 3 and, and 2) he made me a fan of Rush Limbaugh at the age of 18 (jury’s still out on which was worse).
To be clear, he didn’t literally force me to be fans of either. He just offered me the “free taste.” Something we could bond around. Something we would talk about. As an attention-starved only child who had just been dumped by his high school sweetheart, offering me Rush Limbaugh was worse than offering me crack.
For those who don’t remember me (which I will safely assume consists of “anyone who is reading this”), many many MANY moons ago I wrote a book here. Technically I wrote a series of blogs, and then a publisher reached out and asked if I wanted to make it into a book since most of the work was already done. Like the lazy person I am, I agreed, and in the summer of 2006 my book was published – Confessions of a Former Dittohead. I imagined I could help change the world. I was mistaken.
It wasn’t just garden variety hubris, though for sure there was some of that present in 32-year-old me. See, I’ve always been an early adapter. I owned a Palm Pilot before iPhones became a thing. I owned a tablet PC before tablets took over the world. I owned the original Tivo before DVRs were a thing. So you can perhaps understand why, when in 2003 I finally realized after 13 years that every core belief from the AM Radio-based “conservative movement” was utter bullsiht, that I was once again riding at the front of the wave. That soon the rest of America would wake up, and the insidious “compassionate conservatism” would be revealed for the fraud that it was!
And for a time it looked like everything was actually going to be cool! Democrats swept Congress back from the Republican party in 2006, and in 2008 the most remarkable man since Lincoln became President of the United States (Officially the only really cool thing that came from me writing a book was the fist bump I received from the junior Senator from Illinois while he was in Memphis campaigning for Harold Ford, Jr.) I felt like my work was done! Evil had been identified in the world, and people were making informed election decisions. I could go back to my old life and everything would be okay.
…
Well, fuck. That was unexpected.
So here we are again. Another election where the fate of entire free fucking world hangs in the balance. Another year of endless bullshit spouted by endless talking heads who are endlessly wrong about and endless number of topics. We continue to dehumanize the people we disagree with, because no one will see reason (whatever your definition of reason is).
History is replete with moments like this. Spoiler alert – exactly zero of them have ended well. If I sound pessimistic, it’s because a) I am, and b) I’m old now. Too old for this shit. It’s the same shit from 30 years ago, repackaged and built around a sleeker chassis to make it look new. But it’s the same.
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes. (paraphrase of Mr Clemens).
Needless to say, I once again find myself in a place where I have thoughts to share. I figure the time has come for me to ramble on again, and this is a fine place to do it. Eighteen years ago you were a very welcoming group, Markos has always been awesome to me personally, and the discussions I’ve had here have always been interesting. So be prepared for some rambling. I fully acknowledge there may be no interest, and if so that’s fair. I’ll say it nonetheless, if only for my own mental health. Better out than in, as they say.
I no longer hold grandiose notions of changing the world. I don’t even hold the grandiose notion that I can change anyone’s mind (easier to get water from a Vogon). No, at this stage I’m like the proverbial kid throwing starfish in the ocean. When the grown-up asks “why bother when there are millions of starfish on this beach? It doesn’t matter” the kid replies “it matters to this one.”
So maybe you’ll read something I write and it will help you. Help you deal with that MAGA family member. Help you through what is sure to be a shitty emotional roller-coaster of an election year. Help you understand someone else’s viewpoint. I’ll tell you on the front end I have no answers. But I do have experiences. Experiences that I have learned from. Maybe you can too. If so, know that I wish you well little starfish!
Thank you for reading this (assuming you got this far)! If you remember me at all and wondered what happened to me, it’s a hell of a story with something for everyone. If you hoped I’d be happy one day, good news! That happened! If you hoped I would suffer terribly for being such dumbass dittohead and voting for Bush in the first place, good news! That happened too! Wanted me to be rich? Done. Wanted me to be so broke I was borderline homeless? Told you – something for everyone. In true Dickensian fashion, and probably like everyone else’s last 18 years, it’s been the best of times and the worst of times. But the road I followed eventually led someplace truly wonderful, and in the end I’m grateful for the journey.
Anyhoo, that’s me covered. What have you guys been up to since 2006?