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I have had four proposals in my lifetime. The first, I was 17 and a creepy farmer in his 50’s took a shine to the blonde teenage waitress serving at the rural SD diner. I shit you not, he looked like the antagonist in the Joyce Carol Oats short story Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?.
Over his meal, Farmer Man offered me his mother’s ring in matrimony. My friends at the diner found it funny, as he was just some lonely pig farmer who lived in the country with his brother. I did not find any of it funny. The only conversations I had with this man were polite inquiries if he wanted more coffee or the check. He got a strident no from a quite horrified me. The ring refused. No ambiguity.
Which did nothing to deter his ardor. After school one fine spring day, I walk up the gravel driveway from the country bus stop to find the man waiting for me, perched on his dark green car. He asked me to the county fair with him. I told him to get and stay the f*ck away from me and managed to get into the house, lock the doors and wait for my Dad to get home. I assume he left soon after. My Dad walked into the house to a terrified hysterical daughter, made a call to the local sheriff and that was that. Farmer Man avoided the restaurant from then on. No clue what was said or done, but that solved the problem.
We joke about me being sassy, but being sassy has saved my ass, more than once.
Bark like you bite.
2nd proposal. I was 20 years old. He was also a soldier, stationed in North Carolina, a member of the 82nd Airborne. I went back to my duty station in Alaska after the proposal trip to Chimney Rock, N.C. He proposed on a park bench in the park, because parts of one of my favorite movies was filmed there, Last of the Mohicans. The long distance relationship faded as it was meant to, mutually. I sent back the ring. We were both too young and honestly, his southern Baptist mama wasn’t thrilled with the non-religious girlfriend from up north. The marriage would have been a nightmare. Funniest thing though. He tracked me down (not easy to do at the time) and called me for a two hour phone call the night before his wedding to I assume his now wife. Years after we had last spoken. A very interesting trip down memory lane. Is that weird?
3rd Proposal was from my first husband and father of my children. More like an agreement that we are building a family than any actual proposal. But I eventually had a ring and the gift of children, so I think it counts.
The fourth proposal was at the local Farmer’s Market, ring propped up on the wood-fired pizza box. No bended knee, just two people who care about each other very much. The time and place was a surprise, but the trip to look at rings a couple of months prior made the possibility itself no shocker.
Life Tip: One should make sure the person wants the proposal before doing the thing. And don’t propose to high schoolers.
The Self-Catered Wedding How-To
Planning started right away. We knew we wanted a very small backyard wedding showcasing my flowers and food I grew. The wedding was planned for peak harvest of tomatoes, melons, cucumbers, herbs and peppers, as the theme was Mediterranean. Peak bloom of gladiolus, featured prominently in the photos of us, was also considered. Mid to late summer. I’m an extraordinarily private person, with a small circle, as is my husband. So small is perfect. Catering was a no-go, as I love to cook and no catering company had the menu I wanted. Budget was also a consideration. It was genuinely thousands of dollars cheaper to host our own wedding, with the bonus of having exactly what we wanted. It was an afternoon reception, just 3-4 hours of mid-afternoon. The time was chosen to give people time before and after to eat or enjoy the day. A cake and punch reception but oh look! Lots more! The reception was a few hours, enough time for us to chat with and take professional photographs with every person who attended. The cake was purchased. The baker went rogue with the colors, but the cake was so delicious I did not care. The colors we chose were a spring celadon and a sunny yellow, nothing near the neon-ish green and yellow we got. Lord I dislike neon. I attached threads of the wedding colors to the order for a good match, I guess they weren’t checked. Most delicious cake I have ever eaten, however. No bridezilla here, I promise. A very polite email after the wedding resulted in an apology and a free anniversary cake, a tradition we continue with the same baker.
The invitations were a labor of love. Over the rest of the summer after the proposal, I picked and saved flowers to dry for the invitations I made, to be sent in the spring. We used seed paper that allows one to plant and grow flowers from the invitations, should they wish to. All the pressed flowers and herbs in the invites were from my garden.
Menu:
Lemon-Limeade Sangria (used apples from our tree) Melon water (used watermelon and cantaloupe from the garden) Cooler of different beers Wedding Punch Grapes Wedding Mints, rose molds Crackers and specialty cheeses, plus good Italian and Spanish salami His and Hers Desserts, Banana Creme Pie and Oreo Peanut Butter Pie Homemade pie pops as take-homes, in the guest’s favorite flavors (raspberry & apple from garden) Greek Pasta Salad (this and the Med Dip used my tomatoes, peppers, herbs and cukes) 7 Layer Mediterranean dip with herbed pita bread. -Red pepper Hummus -Muhammara -Tabbouli -Tzatziki -Tomato -Cucumber -Feta
Wedding cake was three tier, way bigger than we needed because CAKE! Flavors were vanilla, chocolate and pink champagne. Fillings were raspberry, chocolate ganache and bavarian cream, respectively. I do not care for fondant, so vanilla butter creme was the frosting of choice. Cake topper is a blown glass floral bud vase I purchased through Etsy.
Ran out of half of the food. I told everyone it was a cake and punch reception and to feel free to eat beforehand but they cleaned me out. The wedding punch recipe I found online, the Med Dip was my creation, every component was homemade except the muhammara.
The music was just a Spotify mix of our favorites, alternated. Most of the music was appropriate, but near the very end I chose Childish Gambino This is America. The husband picked some jazz standards, blues and a ton of punk, I picked some Mama’s and Papa’s, Fleetwood Mac, Simon and Garfunkel and some disco (love me some Bee-Gees), pop (Bieber), hip-hop and EDM. One Beatles song Let It Be, a favorite of mine. The Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack, which included Sinatra. For good measure, one of the most beautiful love songs I have ever been blessed to hear. Showcased in Queer as Folk the U.S. version. Nobody caught the lyrics.
Flowers were all from our garden except roses. Husband picked up a bouquet of roses at Costco and I used snapdragons, dusty miller and herbs from the garden to make some centerpieces.
I almost wish I were a less private person who gave no thought to sharing all my life on the internet. My dress was so very pretty, wish I could show it off. The photographer took a photo of everyone chatting outside from a slight distance and the photo had a The School of Athens vibe, I just love it so much. I share too much as it is.
The dress code was simply garden party. Florals and sunny colors. Comfortable for wandering among conversations. My dress was a sleeveless white swing dress, with large blue flowers, quite Grecian. Knee length, because summer and sexy legs; also who wants restrictive clothing?
Or a restrictive wedding.
It was a perfect day.
~The End~
My Garden at Full Bloom for the Curious.
GCNY has a Spoon Story to share with us, and AnnieJo has some tales of her own. Feel free to tell us any story you wish, and if you have any garden topics to discuss, comment below.