I couldn’t sleep last night thinking of all those freezing babies in Alabama. How horrible! Eternal torture of the innocent! We need to do something! Are you good at knitting? They all need little sweaters to keep warm. You have to be very good, because as I understand it, these are really, really tiny babies. But it won’t take much yarn and you can make a difference! Please help.
Even more important, these babies have been forsaken by their G-Dless parents and need Christian foster care. All of them. Can you adopt one or two? All you need is a Dewar flask and a steady supply of liquid nitrogen. Please help (and don’t let the other kids in the family play with the LN2)! You can take them (in a kid’s wagon) to Church on Sundays to give them the good Christian upbringing that they need. Bless you.
I’m working on rescuing teratomas—another massacre of the innocents by libtard doctors--but the problem is making sweaters for odd numbers of arms, legs and such.