If you want a crazed example of government, you need look no further than Duck Soup, the last movie featuring all four Marx Brothers. After this movie, Zeppo, the what-does-he-do-anyway brother, decided he'd have more fun and get richer faster being a Hollywood agent, and then there were three brothers left to spend a night at the opera. Three tickets are cheaper than four.
Anyway, the country of Freedonia, bankrupt due to government incompetence, is trying to get an additional loan of tens of millions of dollars from Margaret Dumont Mrs. Teasdale, who has inexplicably decided that Rufus T. Firefly is the man to run the country. At the party to celebrate Firefly's appointment, Mrs. T breaks into (decidedly uninspired) song to get him to reveal his plans:
For our information
Just for illustration
Tell us how you intend to run the nation.
And he does.
Compare that with our current decider-in-chief, the inexplicably anointed and then possibly ("How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?") elected George W. Bush. It's telling that so few words need to be adjusted to change farce into fratricide, democracy to despotism. Indeed, Mrs. T's intro merely needs a single letter "run" to "ruin" amendment for greater accuracy, and the chorus's interjections joyfully reiterate the official (and awful) pronouncements. Though Firefly's ego sends Freedonia staggering toward a war the enemy wants, Bush's ego is far more ruinous than that since he's a deliberate warmonger:
These are the laws of my administration:
The sick can't take a toke
The Congress is a joke
And lawmaking forbidden.
[Chorus: No legislation passed to help the broke. Hail to the Chief!]
Republicans collude
The populace is screwed
No veto overridden.
[Chorus: When he screws the people always lose.]
If any form of competence is exhibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited.
I'll aid my cronies, so shall it be:
This is the land of the fee.
The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it.
If you think the country's bad-off now
Just wait till I get through with it.
The country's budget must be fixed
And I know what to do with it.
If you think the deficit's sky-high now
Just wait till I get through with it.
If scientific data causes businessmen to swear
Conclusions are adjustable, we think it's only fair
That profits are assured for every needy millionaire
Our scientists rewrite their screeds or pop! goes the weasel.
[Chorus: The data isn't fair
We'l
l change it, we don't care
The world works how we say it does
And not with warming air.]
If anyone should question our pronouncements and decide
To challenge the intelligence, our knowledge, or our pride
We first impugn his sanity, his courage, and his bride,
Then stand them both against the wall and pop! goes the weasel.
[Chorus: The husband hurts our pride
We strike back through his bride
Reve
nge is sweet and oh so neat
Our guilt will be denied.]
Doing a major rewrite of the middle three verses might have allowed an exploration of Unitary Executive theory—an Anne Elkish "This is my theory which belongs to me"—but they fit Georgie so well I couldn't bear to. I'll never be an Artiste.
But then, George will never be a competent president. Firefly somehow won the war he found himself mired in because Ambassador Trentino was overconfident and smug. Bush will never win his. There's no fictional happy ending here. I can't help but notice, however: he's overconfident and smug. Looks like he's cast as the villain in this one.
~~~~~
There wasn't any villainy involved in tonight's nominations; instead, a steady stream of comments appeared in the TopComments AT gmail DOT com mailbox. I thank everyone who nominated, and even those who looked but didn't find anything that struck their fancy. A good Kossitude is everything. :)
Your choice of nominees can appear in Top Comments: all that is required is that you submit them (or it, if one is all you find) to our address during the day (or even very late the night before); as long as they arrive by 9:30pm Eastern Time, you're likely to see them in that night's diary. Please remember to include your Daily Kos username! It help prevents misattributions, or crediting to the Anonymous Kossavar.
Today's first nominee arrived shortly after noon from wiscmass:
ArgusRun reminds us of the difference between us and the Right in njgoldfinch's diary, Male-on-Male Sexual Assault = Not Funny.
OrangeClouds115 mailed the following:
occams hatchet on my stated desire to hang out more w/Scout Finch next year.
karateexplosions submitted this one:
Moody Loner spends some time ranking everybody's greatest fears on a scale of 1 to 10. Holding a gas can in one hand and a lit torch in another wins but Dynamite-Wielding Owls of Doom are (as I suspected) not far behind. [Editor's note: this suspicion is doubtless because karateexplosions is the diary's author. Note that the title actually refers to Evil Dynamite-Wielding Owls of Doom; there may be a Good version of these nocturnal aliens avians.]
Caldonia mailed us with this one (though I gave it the sardonyx write-up treatment):
bic momma makes a good hysterical historical point in ShaunMcDonnell's diary Billy Graham Speaks about Hillary Clinton.
madgranny submits the following comment trio:
Jigsaw68 has a novel idea to test Congress in clammyc's diary How About a Bill Called 'Restoring Our Constitution'? He also suggests how that might work out.
litigatormom explains the problem when talking about the president in mcjoan's front-page diary "What's Wrong with America?"
In Senator Andrew Rice's diary, dotcommidity reminds us of the stakes.
tryptamine writes:
Chacounne's comment on torture is just too important to not get more attention. [Editor's note: the diary this was in has been deleted; the comment lives on. Yet another reason why I like Daily Kos.]
NYFM submitted the following:
Well, Mitt Willard Romney's followers really showed their ugly colors when they 'hissed' the questioner who dared ask how they are fightin' the war on terror. Ken in MN is racking up all the mojo for his comment, but IMO this one by phoenixdreamz really gets to the heart of the sickness which infects the GOP 29 percenters. [Editor's note: the diary was Mitt Romney on his sons Support for Our Military and Nation by Rachel Griffiths.]
4Freedom mailed us with this one (to which I've again added a bit of context):
johnnygunn goes on a copyright rampage in response to the news in revliver's debut diary, Johnson & Johnson sues Red Cross over use of, well, red cross.
Finally, some top comments found by your editor du jour, sardonyx, with the aid of the magic Search function:
TomP welcomes Oklahoma Democrat Andrew Rice in a live blog diary entitled Help Me Send Jim Inhofe back to Tulsa this afternoon in a comment that points out one of Inhofe's many deficiencies.
Sura 109 pens a welcome light note on capitalism vs. communism in John Campanelli's heartbreaking diary Species Obituary: the Yangtze River Dolphin is Extinct.
kck gives an example of real-life religious accomodation in the workplace.
GTPinNJ takes Al Gore at his word in Jim in Chicago's diary about Al Gore's declaration that he might re-enter politics. There is downthread assistance on offer, too.
Delaware Dem claims he's going to nominate buhdydharma's Wow! comment, and fails to follow through, allowing me to doubly embarrass him in public by putting through the nomination without him. Downthread, clammyc tries to make it two TC nominations in a row but fails while demonstrating that sometimes attempted bribery gets you just what you deserve: bupkis.
As our final offering today, we present the top comments by number, aka top mojo—those comments which have received the most recommendations from Daily Kos users like you—as supplied by your diarist and mojomaster, using cskendrick's mojo-to-Excel with the superior sardonyx touch.
First, Top Mojo excluding search-identifiable tip jars, first diary comments, and C&J comments:
1) Thank you by Wes Clark — 194
2) They hissed because actually fighting... by Ken in MN — 126
3) Christian Supremecists = Islamic Jihadists by Walt starr — 126
4) Starting tomorrow, I'll be in Indonesia ... by Meteor Blades — 97
5) No I did not tell them by Rachel Griffiths — 96
6) Yeah, I wish the Senate Website was that good. by rerutled — 82
7) Rachel, you are a great American . . . by nyceve — 80
8) Thank You by Senator Andrew Rice — 80
9) Picture for your diary by redstatehatemonitor — 77
10) This story just posted on Yahoo News. by Rock Strongo — 77
11) Canada and France... by Jon Stafford — 73
12) I wonder why they hissed? by Rock Strongo — 70
13) General Clark, this is so very true. by funluvn1 — 69
14) Well... by Jay Elias — 68
15) Here's the money quote . . . by nyceve — 67
16) Great Question Rachel! by lineatus — 65
17) Thanks by Boxer7 — 64
18) let him veto it by clammyc — 64
19) The Environment is not a priority here either by FishOutofWater — 61
20) This has nothing to do with Obama by Overseas — 61
21) A note on Scripture from a non-Christian by Dallasdoc — 60
22) I only rated you... by viralvoice — 58
23) And thank you, general, by Timroff — 56
24) You'll like this one too then by joanneleon — 56
25) Unluckily, we ARE playing it....n/t by mudslide — 55
26) I may actually do a headstart by teacherken — 54
27) They hissed .... by TxTiger — 53
28) General Clark had an important op ed in NY Times by teacherken — 51
29) Getting out Now by Wes Clark — 51
30) I second that. by Boston Boomer — 51
Top Mojo with No Exclusions:
1) Tips are appreciated! by Moderately Liberal Conservative — 429
2) Oh man, you can't make this stuff up ! by Troutfishing — 308
3) nah....it makes too much sense by clammyc — 213
4) Thank you by Wes Clark — 194
5) Sorry, buddy. We hardly knew ya. by John Campanelli — 192
6) Blah. by rerutled — 175
7) Tip Jar by Rachel Griffiths — 157
8) My kind of town... by fabooj — 141
9) I think what Tony Snow has written . . . by nyceve — 131
10) Christian Supremecists = Islamic Jihadists by Walt starr — 126
11) They hissed because actually fighting... by Ken in MN — 126
12) Not the best time to post this, by pico — 122
13) I'm sorry that I don't know... by Jay Elias — 117
14) Thanks for this General! by One Pissed Off Liberal — 105
15) My god! by irate — 103
16) Howdy by taylormattd — 98
17) Starting tomorrow, I'll be in Indonesia ... by Meteor Blades — 97
18) No I did not tell them by Rachel Griffiths — 96
19) Humpday Greetings From The Bay Area!!! by Predictor — 93
20) Tips for change and working by TomP — 92
21) Your Daily BabyKos by John Campanelli — 85
22) Yeah, I wish the Senate Website was that good. by rerutled — 82
23) Rachel, you are a great American . . . by nyceve — 80
24) Thank You by Senator Andrew Rice — 80
25) Happy Hump Day! :-) by Common Sense Mainer — 78
26) This story just posted on Yahoo News. by Rock Strongo — 77
27) Picture for your diary by redstatehatemonitor — 77
28) C&J Wednesday by zigeunerweisen — 76
29) Happy Hump Day by Debbie in ME — 74
30) Canada and France... by Jon Stafford — 73
31) Tip jar for new shoes? by brillig — 73
© sardonyx; all rights reserved
All quotes are the property of the original authors or the websites that held them
Duck Soup material by Burt Kalmar and Harry Ruby; additional dialogue was by Arthur Sheekman and Nat Perrin, but whether this includes lyrics I don't know.