...because, see, it's obvious that Barack Obama can only win in states he can do retail politics like Iowa.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in states where he can do retail politics states and his home state like Iowa and Illinois.
Well...
...these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in states where he can do retail politics and his home states and states that have a majority of African-American voters like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in states where he can do retail politics and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and caucus states like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina and Nebraska.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska and Georgia.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia and Connecticut.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the deep south and states in the northeast and states in the Midwest like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut and Kansas.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and and states in the northwest like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas and Washington.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and states in the northwest and states with open primaries so Republicans and Independents can vote like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas, Washington and Minnesota.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and states in the northwest and states with open primaries so Republicans and Independents can vote and states with closed primaries so Independents and Republicans can't vote like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas, Washington, Minnesota and Delaware.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and states in the northwest and states with open primaries so Republicans and Independents can vote and states with closed primaries so Independents and Republicans can't vote and primaries held off the main-land like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas, Washington, Minnesota, Delaware and Alaska.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and states in the northwest and states with open primaries so Republicans and Independents can vote and states with closed primaries so Independents and Republicans can't vote and primaries held off the main-land and primaries held in sort-of kind-of foreign countries like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas, Washington, Minnesota, Delaware, Alaska and the Virgin Islands.
Well, these are not real Obama victories because he can only win in caucus states and his home state and states that have a majority of African-American voters and states where he has time to do retail politics and states in the south and states in the northeast and states in the midwest and states in the northwest and states with open primaries so Republicans and Independents can vote and states with closed primaries so Independents and Republicans can't vote and primaries held off the main-land and primaries held in sort-of kind-of foreign countries and states with big wide open spaces and a ton of cows like Iowa, Illinois and South Carolina, Nebraska, Georgia, Connecticut, Kansas, Washington, Minnesota, Delaware, Alaska, the Virgin Islands and EVER LOVING, GORGEOUS, BIG SKY, GO CAMPING NORTH DAKOTA!.
(pause)
Um, Pat Buchanan, Chris Matthews, Britt Hume and just about anyone in the Republican party, feel free to cierra tu chingadero agujero pastel.
*****
SYFPH: Jesus' Goalposts
SYFPH: Werewolves
SYFPH, Expectations
SYFPH, Exit Polls
SYFPH, Identity Politics
SYFPH, The Original