So, CLEARLY I need to set the record straight about something.
In the run up to these dueling Netroots For The Troops diaries I was destroyed in Cheers and Jeers poll, then scurrilously eviscerated in a recommended diary all based on the concept that I'm some "big-shot" while my nemesis Teh Droogie6655321 is some, I don't know, hyper-altruistic, white caped, struggling, dung beetle rancher (or whatever people do for a living in those "fly-over" states).
But the above is all predicated on lies.
Hideous lies.
Harmful, unpleasant, gelatinous, processed-cheese-food-laced LIES.
Yes, this is a David Vs. Goliath situation, but the roles are very much reversed.
You see...
...whereas Droogie was born with an entire silver cutlery set in his mouth, I was birthed in a mud puddle, sheltered as an infant in a rusty hubcap and raised by a small pack of rabid badgers.
(Y'know those people "raised by wolves"... I would've KILLED to be them.)
As a youth, while Droogie was driven to grade school in one of his family's seven day-of-the-week Bentleys, I had to pull a plutonium-lined, square-wheeled rickshaw filled with Sumo wrestlers to collect the pennies (Canadian pennies, at that) for my lunch of curdled cottage cheese and month-old weasel milk.
And my grade school... was located in the far northern city of Escher Drawing which meant... wait for it... it was uphill... in the snow... BOTH WAYS!
In college, Droogie had a perfect complexion and bunz of brushed titanium. Me? I showed up to my first semester at The North Shore Reform Academy for Beauty and Emergency Dentistry (Go Fighting Bikini Molars!) with a back-brace, two left shoes (for my two left feet) and pirate's patch covering the space where my glass eye would've been... had a gang of radical nuns not beat be up and stolen it.
And now, as an adult, while Droogie frolics in that liberal-bastion of Oklahoma, where gays are celebrated and every Thursday is Black History Month, I'm forced to live as a closeted progressive, afraid to even be seen with my recycling in the oppressive, regressive, might-as-well-be-pre-World-War-II-Germany HELL-HOLE known as Venice, California.
I mean... I'd LIKE to smoke weed... but in VENICE, CALIFORNIA?!?
NO FUCKING CHANCE!
And all the above... the advantages Droogie had... his privilege... finally explains that whole DKos "incident" where Droogie "claimed" to have been "outed" by his "employer" and had to "disappear", only to then "reappear" and "assert" "that" "it" "was" "all" "OK" "now" "?!!"
Two words: sex scandal hairy palms underwear model breast augmentation anal wax Tax Evasion!
This is the truth, my friends.
This is the reality.
And it is in the cause of setting the record straight and righting the wrongs of my childhood, that I beg you on my hands and knees to GIVE TO NFTT UNTIL IT HURTS!
Only then, will I be able to escape my bonds and break free from this Okie master.
Serious note (cue the strings section and fire up the mood lighting, please):
I know what happens now.
All the usual suspects... the ones who have given and given and given too much already... show up and throw in money that should be used for rent or groceries.
And while I'm all for that (I still need to kick Droogie's ass) I make this appeal to the casual reader, the lurker, to the "what is this fool babbling about?", and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, to the odd Conservative who comes here to mock and deride and scoff.
It is YOUR few shillings that will REALLY make a difference to this cause, because while there are 1000 different reasons to join the military - some you might even disagree with - the act of digging a hole in a foreign country 15 time zones away from every person you love and waiting to be shot at deserves a measure of kindness larger than whatever you'd spend your free-to-donate-dollars on.
Also, tomorrow, when all the Droogie VS. Lieber counting is done, I'll make a donation of one dollar for every recommend I get, plus 11.99 (which is the current going rate for the fleshy, rotating marital aide, which I'm often associated with {NSFW!}).
D Wreck has pledged to match the above pledge as well. So, give him some DAP.
Oh, and in a bit of wonderful, manic philanthropy, llbear has gone in for $1 a comment, so... give the love there as well.
With that out of the way...
COME NOW HELP ME DESTROY THE DEMON WHERE HE SLEEPS!
***
Our goal for Netroots For The Troops 2009 is $50,000.00 (cash or in-kind donations).
PLEASE DONATE HERE
We realize that you would like to donate something tangible to go inside the packages that will be mailed to the troops. Unfortunately, accepting in-kind donations from individuals is not practical in terms of storage and handling of the items. The Pittsburgh Convention Center is a union shop so we have more stringent rules that need to be followed. Instead, we will only be accepting corporate donations or cash from YOU to purchase items for the care packages this year.
Here’s how YOU can help:
- Please contact Donnamarie or VeloVixen if you know someone who might be helpful in securing the corporate in-kind donations. To help you think of companies who could donate products, see below* for a list of potential items. Put your thinking caps on and let us hear from you. It takes time to get through the corporate processes so we need to hear from you ASAP!
- We are accepting cash from individuals and
beg ask that you DONATE HERE to contribute to this worthy cause. Your donation will enable us to purchase the things that we are unable to obtain through corporate donations, and will help to pay the costs of shipping them to our troops. This year your donations will be tax deductible, thanks to Netroots Nation and their partner Netroots Arts and Education Initiative, a California 501(c)3 corporation.
- Sign up for a diary! Our goal is to post two diaries per day until NN09. That’s a lot of diaries! Don’t worry---we’ve made it easy for you. We’ve got a template set up, and all you need to do is add a small introduction telling us why you are donating, sharing a story of someone you know who has served or is serving, or any other thing you want to share that might help motivate others to donate. Please contact politik if you are interested in posting a diary.
- Do you know a service member who would like to receive a care package? Email a request to: NFTT.request@gmail.com before July 31, 2009.
Please include all of the following information. Unfortunately we will not be able to process any incomplete requests:
Rank:
Last name:
First name:
APO Address Line 1:
APO Address Line 2:
APO Address Zip:
- Write letters to be included in the packages! Our own jlms qkw is collecting the letters and will print them out and bring them to Pittsburgh. Just email your letter to her jlms_qkw@xmission.com. Look for more information from jlms qkw soon.
- Help us assemble the packages in Pittsburgh. It's fun! More information will be forthcoming for those of you who are going to be in Pittsburgh and would like to help there.
- Please consider joining the NFTT FaceBook Group. Invite your FaceBook and non-FaceBook friends.
_____________________
*The following list contains some of the things we would like to include in the packages. Please let us know if you know someone who might be helpful in securing these corporate in-kind donations. (Please DO NOT send these items yourself! We have no way to accept them. Instead, your cash donation is the very best way to help make this happen on the ground in Pittsburgh.)
- Baby wipes
- Mechanix gloves
- Language translation books or CDs (Rosetta Stone as an example)
- LED flashlights
- Gel shoe insoles
- Goop Cleaning Gel
- Powdered energy drinks
- Gel energy food packets
- DVDs and CDs
- Letters to the soldiers
- More suggestions coming soon
Books for Soldiers
Soldiers love to receive books, but due once again to the logistics of collecting and storing them prior to NN09, books will not be included in the packages that NFTT will put together this year. Other organizations are more specialized in the collection and distribution of books to Iraq and Afghanistan. If you are interested in sending books, please consider checking out the Books for Soldiers Website. It is run by DKos's very own StormBearand is a great resource for giving.
Important Note about Successful Online Donations
PLEASE DONATE HERE
When you make your online donation, the screen indicates that you are donating to Netroots Nation. This is the right screen! Rest assured all donations WILL go to NFTT. If you wish, feel free to use the comment area provided to note that your donation is intended for Netroots For The Troops. It isn’t necessary to do this however, as this is the only fundraising activity being conducted for Netroots Nation at this time. For further information about online donations, please read TexDem's diary on the subject.