Skip to main content

This is the kindest community on the whole world wide web. Your prayers and good thoughts and healing energy lifted me out of blackest fear and despair in a matter days, sent me a healer who is determined to diagnose the weird symptoms that have plagued me for most of this year, restored some of my energy, allowed me to eat without severe pain, and given me hope for recovery.

Five days ago, Sara R called and found me barely able to carry on a conversation. I had not been able to eat solid food in more than a week, I was very weak, I had lost faith in my local medical community (with good reason, I might add) and, worst of all, I feared I wouldn't get diagnosed until my own autopsy. When you love and enjoy your life and your family as much as I do, the prospect of only having a small amount of time left is a form of existential sadness I've never before experienced.

Sara broached the idea of asking the community for help: "It works. I've seen it happen many times; I've been the recipient of it myself. Never doubt the power of Kossacks when they focus their minds on something," she said. So we talked about what I thought would be most helpful, and Sara posted this diary on Saturday afternoon, containing my plea:

Here is what she needs and requests from us.  When one of us has a dire problem, Kelley goes up to Pike's Peak and prays.  And she lets loose our woes on her Cursing Tree.  She asks that if you have an equivalent of a place like Pike's Peak or a Cursing Tree, please go and pray or meditate or focus your intent for her health and that she gets the care she needs right away.  Pray for the return of her health.  Whether it is an altar, a church, a circle, a pipe, or a wooded space that you pray at, with or in, please do this ....

Here's what your prayers and candles and energy and good thoughts have accomplished in five short days:

Three hours after Sara posted her diary I went downstairs for yet another can of Boost. Instead, I opened a can of soup - Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup, to be exact - and got it down, noodles and all, with just a few twinges of pain.

Sunday afternoon, while reading your comments in Sara's diary for the umpteenth time, I thought about that soup - and wanted more. This was a tiny thing, sure, but as I held the can in my hand I thought about Sara's diary, I thought about everything y'all had posted in the comments, and I got a little shiver.

When my tiny family landed at the airport Monday afternoon I was too weak to trust myself driving. Pittie70, my BFF of over forty years and my son's godmother, did the honors for me. We cried together Monday night, all of us very much afraid our lives together were coming to a close.

Your efforts came to full fruition on Tuesday. My daughter-in-law and I met with my gastroenterologist's Nurse Practitioner right after my dear friend Noor B asked you for your get-well messages. When I got home and saw the diary, I was able to report thus:

First, thank you - and all of you - from the bottom of my heart. I can scarcely see through my tears, but they're good tears. The healing energy of this community is gettin' stuff done:

My spirit has been healing since Sara's diary the other night - no more hiding under the covers.

Y'all sent me a Nurse Practitioner who looks like an old army nurse - if they took nurses less than five feet tall - and she did a more thorough history and physical than any of the doctors I've seen. She grabbed the phone and yelled at people when she didn't find lab reports in my chart. She thought out loud - a wonderful thing that not only showed a quick but deep intellect, it allowed me to engage with her thought processes.

Somehow, despite tomorrow being the day before Thanksgiving, she managed to get me on the schedule for an upper scope at 3:00.

She ordered ultrasounds to look at various organs.

She has other plans, if nothing is seen on the scope.

I shook her hand when we left, but my daughter-in-law grabbed her and hugged the stuffing out of her. From the look of happy surprise on her face, I wondered if she'd been shocked with orange energy!

The collective force of this community is awesome. Thank you so much for letting me have it this week. ♥

The kids made sandwiches for their lunch while I was posting that. I tried a few bites of my son's as an experiment - and it settled well.

Tuesday night I went to dinner with them and actually ate a meal. (It wasn't the greatest choice, and I paid a price for too many olives, but it was worth it!)

Late yesterday afternoon we went to the GI lab for my endoscopy. I don't have the solution to my riddle yet BUT! I don't have any evidence of cancer of the esophagus or stomach. OMG! Happy Thanksgiving! There is time now, I believe, to search for answers with peace of mind rather than the black despair of fearing too much time has passed for me to survive this illness. You cannot put a price on that, you cannot believe how important energy and hope are unless you, too, have ever lost both.

So, again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Orange Power Rocks!

Love,
Nurse Kelley

PS - My little family and I didn't have Thanksgiving dinner this year ... but we ate our weight in Texas barbeque last night. Yes, including me. It was the best thing I've tasted in years.

Originally posted to Nurse Kelley's Blog on Thu Nov 24, 2011 at 12:08 PM PST.

Also republished by J Town, KosAbility, Cranky Users, and Street Prophets .

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Sharoney, JekyllnHyde, paradox, Ed in Montana, Angie in WA State, Sylv, northsylvania, Bill in Portland Maine, filkertom, hester, teacherken, glitterscale, TrueBlueMajority, RunawayRose, DebtorsPrison, alicia, Shockwave, byteb, mlharges, eeff, Mnemosyne, polecat, Sandy on Signal, SallyCat, grover, Ahianne, Creosote, Doctor Who, auapplemac, BlackSheep1, mint julep, nyceve, whenwego, CoolOnion, boadicea, Bionic, Larry Bailey, bwren, poe, oceanview, navajo, high uintas, sidnora, aitchdee, revsue, Joe Bacon, emmasnacker, MA Liberal, johanus, hoolia, On The Bus, defluxion10, TX Scotia, betson08, samoashark, RebeccaG, riverlover, barbwires, zett, side pocket, bablhous, Emmy, homogenius, rmx2630, ebbinflo, maybeeso in michigan, historys mysteries, 3goldens, escapee, SisTwo, greycat, BluejayRN, blueyedace2, chimene, vgranucci, offred, labwitchy, triciawyse, ratzo, eru, Annalize5, cfk, indiemcemopants, SaraBeth, Pam from Calif, Sara R, Overseas, blue jersey mom, markdd, paxpdx, PinHole, Shotput8, Ginny in CO, Floja Roja, FindingMyVoice, coolbreeze, Ekaterin, JanF, Sister Havana, Asinus Asinum Fricat, noweasels, begone, Showman, Debbie in ME, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, myboo, vigilant meerkat, Clytemnestra, emeraldmaiden, tonyahky, seefleur, Dvalkure, martyc35, kestrel9000, Below the Beltway, KenBee, dougymi, fiddler crabby, raincrow, kck, triv33, jguzman17, 4Freedom, Ooooh, Crashing Vor, SadieSue, tapestry, mithra, plf515, bleeding heart, gabriella, myrealname, middleagedhousewife, llbear, bumbi, Dyana, doingbusinessas, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, Stripe, Dreaming of Better Days, kurt, nannyboz, kurious, Friend of the court, Hedwig, Temmoku, ipsos, postmodernista, ms badger, ZenTrainer, NonnyO, pale cold, One Pissed Off Liberal, Noor B, fabucat, BeninSC, anotherdemocrat, Cronesense, tgypsy, Debs2, mamabigdog, NovatoBon, aravir, edsbrooklyn, FishOutofWater, Mary Mike, Richard Lyon, daveygodigaditch, flumptytail, operculum, terabytes, greenchiledem, DWG, sfbob, joedemocrat, davehouck, artisan, jnhobbs, leonard145b, M Sullivan, Azubia, gizmo59, jgilhousen, mayrose, mconvente, JaxDem, ChocolateChris, kimoconnor, greenalley, HappyinNM, ms scarlett leadpipe, ScottyUrb, OleHippieChick, Sixty Something, Youffraita, Mr Stagger Lee, bythesea, smrichmond, skohayes, CDH in Brooklyn, lineatus, Lujane, hwmnbn, bluesheep, triplepoint, TokenLiberal, SottoVoce, Seamus D, Horsefeathers, glendaw271, petulans, KrazyKitten, brokensnowshoe, luckylizard, Karl Rover, JamieG from Md, Quilldriver, ekyprogressive, Ellinorianne, In her own Voice, DavidW, watercarrier4diogenes, shortgirl, lissablack, jlms qkw, CIndyCasella, Purple Priestess, maggiejean, J M F, zmom, classico, greengemini, Stucko, stolen water, be the change you seek, FrugalGranny, earicicle, COwoman, billssha, Question Authority, nancat357, mahakali overdrive, jpmassar, citisven, Leftcandid, Sarbec, smileycreek, RhymesWithUrple, rb137, psfinla, Susan Grigsby, Observerinvancouver, David Harris Gershon, Proud Mom and Grandma, klompendanser, Lost and Found, melpomene1, freedapeople, JoanMar, Arenosa, gulfgal98, Puddytat, ramara, cai, addisnana, mideedah, MsGrin, BobboSphere, Otteray Scribe, leu2500, Oh Mary Oh, theKgirls, Onomastic, angstall, expatinmex, mama jo, Im a frayed knot, cv lurking gf, myadestes, anyname, NormAl1792, CoExistNow, princesspat, Ebby, mrsgoo, marleycat, Lorikeet, badscience, slooterdam, smoothnmellow, PeggyD, worldlotus, Empty Vessel, enhydra lutris, corvaire, peregrine kate, ilovecheese, StateOfGrace, Vatexia, jolux, Miggles, SoCalSal, SteelerGrrl, BlueDragon, AnnetteK, brown and blue all over, jacey, weatherdude, stormicats, sow hat, Aji, IndieGuy, SilverWillow, AnnieR, swampyankee, Ginger1, TomorrowsProgressives, congenitalefty, Horace Boothroyd III, This old man, Mr Robert, DollyMadison, mapamp, carolanne, belinda ridgewood, Free Jazz at High Noon, BusyinCA, pittie70, wxorknot, arizonablue, jeannew, wasatch, mumtaznepal, Lizabet, whatGodmade, nomandates, glorificus

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site