Betty inspects woodtick's quilt
Arizonablue has been carrying great pain in her heart -- and the pain was enough to cause her to ask for a quilt. She got my attention because the pain is evident and acute -- and this is a situation where we can all help.
It started with caregiving to her husband. Caregiving is something that is so necessary but which takes a great toll. Ann and I know this having been caregivers to our parents. It will take all the adrenalin you have and then some and leave you quite exhausted for a long, long time. Arizonablue wrote (and I've added the emphasis):
My husband and I are also private people, well, not really, but when it comes to being sick, we've been there and done that and it was isolating.
I hadn't found Daily Kos yet!
I was the caregiver for over a year, and my husband was so sick.
His treatment started in February of 2003, and by August, he had lost all his hair, lost close to 30 pounds, and he'd wear a heavy winter coat with sweats underneath, and a knit cap with heavy socks and he'd pull the lounger from the patio into the middle of the yard in August, so that he could lay in the sun and get warm to find sleep.
He was always so cold.
Feeding him was difficult, as he was so nauseous, but he liked steak, and I wasn't a steak eater, but I learned to make him steak under the broiler.
He also liked, more like craved raw broccoli, but even though he craved certain foods, it never tasted right, it tasted chemically to him.
Except for watermelon.
I bought more watermelon that summer and we'd sit together and eat an entire melon because it was so cold and so sweet and so refreshing.
People, even our families, stayed away.
We were so alone and it was really hard on us both, but really hard on me, too.
I wasn't used to doing everything alone, as we're like John and Yoko whereas we always do everything as a couple, even grocery shopping.
No one even called to ask us how we were doing and I think it was because they were afraid or something.
So, I've learned from that experience that when people are sick that I call them and bring them food, or simply call to ask how they're doing.
My husband is fine now - all clear - and his hair grew back thicker than before and he regained part of the weight, and now he's active and we walk everyday practically 2 and 1/2 miles and my husband loves to bike and he rides and he also hikes.
When he was out of the woods, I got sick, but I think it was more from stress than anything, but I was sick for 4 months and could barely walk from our home to the stop sign.
So to all caregivers - take care of yourselves and thank your lucky stars that you have this community here, because I really wish I had known you all back when.
I love you all so much.
paradise50's quilt, detail
Arizonablue did this caregiving while she was grieving. She lost her step daughter in a car accident around this time -- and to this day, the grief has not left her. She writes:
We had also lost our daughter - my step-daughter - and my husband's first wife died from an epileptic seizure when Mary Lou was 11 years old.
When I married my husband, Mary Lou was 12 going on 13, and believe me, that's another story about how a person goes from being so sweet to a teenager and I so hated her and she me, not really, but then how her and I grew closer than close and best friends and the last time that we saw her, she called me mom.
God.
That is something that will touch my heart and stay with me forever.
I was not worthy, but God, what an honor.
I think her death also caused people to stay away, because they somehow thought that the death thing was catchy, and isn't that something?
I read this and thought, we can't stay away. We need to embrace this woman and tell her we love and admire her, tell her that her community is with her. We can do this in a love catcher quilt. Just write messages in the comments below and I will transcribe them onto muslin in archival ink. My sister and I will sew your loving words into a quilt that arizonablue will be able to wrap herself in as if she is being hugged by all of you.
Death really isn't catchy. But love is.
princesspat's quilt top
It takes time and material to make one of these quilts -- if you would like to contribute toward its making, here is a PayPal link. It isn't necessary to donate to leave a message -- but $10/message is suggested. Some people donate enough to cover for people who can't contribute money -- so don't be shy about leaving a message!
belinda ridgewood's quilt, detail
These are the quilts we have finished to date:
othniel (cellulitis and ensuing complications)
exmearden (cancer of heart and lung, RIP)
MsSpentyouth (brain tumor)
Moe99 (lung cancer, RIP)
Michelle Caudle (ovarian cancer, RIP)
BFSkinner (lupus)
Kitsap River (long wait for kidney donor that ended 2/18/11)
Frederick Clarkson (blood clots)
Dreaming of Better Days (lymphoma)
one bite at a time (lost house and belongings to fire)
Timroff (cellulitis)
Sol Fed Joe (multiple cancers and health problems)
Brubs (AIDS, immune reconstitution syndrome)
rserven (gall bladder infection with dangerous complications)
grndrush (brain tumor, RIP)
ImpeachKingBushII (needs liver transplant)
andsarahtoo (lupus)
Frank Cocozzelli (muscular dystrophy)
luvsathoroughbred (breast cancer)
Predictor (stroke and HIV)
Austex54 (caretaker to othniel)
Theodore Olbermann, RIP
cskendrick (antibiotic resistant infection)
Keith Olbermann (caregiver to father)
Juan (cancer)
Ana (a young horse belonging to Juan, hit by truck)
MA Liberal’s mother (Alzheimer’s)
Charles CurtisStanley (caretaker to Kitsap River)
Lorikeet (cervical cancer)
Dr. Lori (metastatic cancer)
ulookarmless (cancer, heart condition, stroke)
riverlover (caregiver to husband suffering from liver failure, now widowed)
Melody Townsel (caregiver to dying father, now deceased)
dadanation (AIDS)
Dr. William F. Harrison (leukemia, RIP)
Larry Bailey (sudden loss of partner to heart attack)
ramara (adopted son with fetal alcohol syndrome)
Noor B (herniated disk from car accident)
Louisiana 1976 (fibromyalgia, severe arthritis, depression)
stumpy (MS, stroke, RIP)
bleeding heart's niece (cancer, RIP)
escapee (failure of corneal surgery)
SarahLee (lymphoma, Lyme Disease)
Bustergirl (ovarian cancer)
mimi's niece (cancer)
ZenTrainer (breast cancer)
Miss Blue (severe injury to shoulder, anxiety over coverage for surgery)
Granny Doc (bladder cancer, RIP)
mango (heart attack)
nudger (ovarian cancer, RIP)
DaNang65 (heart condition)
Lt. Choi (exhaustion)
Nurse Kelley (spinal stenosis)
Ben Masel (lung cancer, RIP)
Otterary Scribe (caregiver, grieving grandfather, grieving widower)
Aji (autoimmune diseases incl. fibromyalgia, inflammatory arthritis, & Chronic Epstein-Barr Virus Syndrome)
JaxDem (suddenly widowed)
DavidW (AIDS and other undiagnosed illness)
Jester the Marine (facing amputation of leg)
peregrine kate (endometrial cancer)
mimi (grief due to family illnesses)
alliedoc (endometrial cancer)
labwitchy (diffuse scleroderma)
Daily Kos (celebrating community)
belinda ridgewood (sudden loss of her mother)
princesspat (blood clots, deep vein thrombosis)
Scott Olsen (severe head injury)
SensibleShoes (caring for sister with brain cancer)
Joanna (cancer)
cany (grieving caretaker of mother with dementia)
Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse (breast cancer)
Scottie Thomaston (intense chronic pain from spine, kidney stones)
paradise50 (throat cancer)
woodtick (caregiver to mother with Alzheimer's)
See also these two thank you posts from multiple quilt recipients:
KosAbility: A Virtual Quilt for Sara and Ann, from Community Quilt recipients
We Have Something to Say to YOU, Sara R and winglion!
another detail of belinda ridgewood's quilt, this one with a "Cranky Users" dinosaur!
We're finishing the blocks on BeninSC's quilt. Only three messages need to be collected for Adrian's quilt.
labwitchy's quilt
These quilts are planned:
MsGrin (life long heart problems requiring multiple surgeries)
llbear (brittle diabetic)
raina (grief)
UnaSpensor (Lyme disease)
MA Liberal (caretaker to her mother who has dementia)
paradox (cyclical vomiting syndrome, PTSD, depression)
Ellinorianne (rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia)
SwedishJewish (sexually assaulted as a child)
Goldie inspects and approves of labwitchy's quilt
PAYPAL LINK FOR ARIZONABLUE'S QUILT - THANK YOU!
Boots says, "Thank you for supporting community quilts!"
Namaste