Welcome to my First Open Thread Genealogists. I am Honored to be your Host today.
It is my pleasure to have volunteered to plug what was a missing slot, and be able to write today for this group`s weekly open thread. I must be frank at the very get-go with you though. I have questions for you. I have a very detailed journey of a search that in itself might be confusing to you as it has been for me. I am completely lost on whether what you will read is actually true. What I mean with this statement pertains to search records and how they are compiled and which I have had difficulty believing them to be true.
I trust I can find closure here. It will be a relief to acknowledge what I fear most. I have significant pieces of findings that have created this puzzle that are my ancestors lives that has led to this haunting sensation I now have.
For starters first let me try to apologize for my recent diary "A Master Cheater in my Family Tree -- My Grandfather" in which I wrote here that he cheated on who I thought was my real grandmother. I have done the appropriate research and found that the old dude was not even close to being a cheater. I will write on this below. In fact I now think differently for the guy. He did not hide secrets in his very important stage of his life. Besides, no ancient ancestor would deliberately hide secrets from their family tree. At least I see no reason to do so.
On the bright side for me I do have my own little secret to tell you today, and I am proud to disclose it to you. Here it is:
I have become mostly absorbed and sorta addicted to this magical genealogy field that has allowed me to study "my families" and the tracing of their lineages and history. I need my daily fix too as someone in this group recently described genealogy. I write my families in quotations because I mean my personal heritage tree, or better yet the roots that brung me to this dance to go waltzing, wa-wa-wah waltzing with bears as was noted earlier which cracked me up. How does one not get strung out with genealogy and this group?
But on a not so bright side for me, I have been consistent with relentless rambling diaries that I have written for this group where I have chosen bits and pieces of events without making much sense. That much I have noticed. I need to start from the beginning -- from scratch, for lack of a better word in order to give you a clue where I`m coming from, and for you to understand my questions. This by no means is a life and death situation questions for me, I merely seek peace of mind. I want to share with you and invite you to join me in this ongoing roller coaster ride. A ride against the wind from which I can`t seem to get off.
Previously I have made several short comments that has led to most aspects of this diary. I never bothered to write about how I came in possession of the death certificate of one Alejandro Lopez. It all started when I contacted a gentleman who had offered to help me search for siblings during discussions in my diary Help Me which I wrote June 18. I never asked for his permission to use his name in my diaries connected to his help, so I will not name him here. If you are interested and want to see the certificate click Here and let me tell you about it, and let me tell you what confusion really is.
A good road map to follow my search requires me to start from the beginning. So first I will tell you that I have become rather proficient with FamilySearch.org and as such discovered that my mother Margarita had "me" with the man who I found to be my biological father in 1936. His name was Gregorio Lopez. Then I found what follows below and related this information to my friend which I have mentioned in the paragraph above.
On Dec. 1937 a little more than a year of my birth, a child named Alexander Lopez was born to my mother, and a man named Alexander Lopez. This child`s father was not my biological father. But this child became one of several others not biological by my father but delivered by my mother that I wanted to search for and possibly find if still alive. This has been the sole purpose for my presence here at Dkos and my writings in many diaries published as The StoryTeller`s Dream is Awakened. My dream is now a nightmare.
My friend replied to my email with his own find in a search:
On May 1, 1938 "Alejandro Lopez" died (see: death certificate") and his father was Alejandro Lopez Sr.(I note these names to be written in Spanish), but Spanish standing alone is irrelvant. What I found relevant is that the name of the mother as shown in the death certificate is not my mother. I will address that more in detail below. So I can only question what are the odds that these two boys being born the same day in the same city -- have fathers named Alejandro? His birth in the indexes collections show he was born the same day.
It was my friend who found this death certificate and asked me if I thought there might be a possibility that these two Lopez men might be related. The question was sound and I put it in my mind that they might have been brothers if indeed this pesky ancient surprise pans out to be true.
I know, I know, I am not them. It is not my fault, and so forth. It is not my intention to throw rocks at my mother or anyone else since I too live in a house with glass ceilings. I too have hidden secrets and many surprises. I guess my point is that I am confused like any normal family member would be and more so if I am wrong.
But there was one huge problem for me to believe. The name as shown in the death certificate is not my mother. This is why I found it so important to pursue any avenue that might convince me one hundred percent, which I am not. I have been unable to trace any connection to this Barail surname in searches. It goes to the same information to what I argue here. No past, no other family members, Nothing that would or could give me a clue of a connection to me.
The last thing I want to do is dramatize this issue. If I am proven wrong I swear, I will not be hurt. I really believe that there is nothing left in this world that can hurt me with the exception of a loss of one of my own family. I am using genealogy as a therapy and a tonic for relaxation which I really get each time I have my fix. I need to know my family tree before I jump off. In other words, I just want to go waltzing, wa-wa-wah waltzing with bears. I don`t think I am asking for too much.
I have done a lot of finger walking to churches, genealogists help centers, cemeteries and lately had been communicating with the late undertakers family ("thanks Klompendanser") that might have buried this child looking for records that might shed some light to my questions. I got this message and after reading it, I felt exactly as if a door was shut in my face. I mean really, it is frustrating. I was looking for any crack in this mystery that includes the total disappearance of the corpse of this child.
So far there are no records that have been found under your brothers name. After looking at the address of the funeral director on the death certificate, I am certain that your brother's service was handled by my grandfather's brother. Had it been our funeral home, the address would've been listed in Houston.I have taken a breather since getting this message from Christina. I cannot do any thing else but tell you something different that I have found in my searches that is more pleasant to read. This will give me pause to think more slowly whether I should continue with this particular search. This is as far as I have thought this out. My friend Chuco35 is right I guess when he said the following. Not only is he right I think this is the best advise I have gotten to date. I do hope he meant only this particular search:
I'm sorry I couldn't help you more and I wish you luck with your research.
"Viejo my thoughts are that your search is over. You have come to terms with the devils that kept you from empathizing with your siblings"Thank you Chuco. As long as my fingers are free of Arthritis and or Polio they will pound the air waves. But you might just be right, give me just another shot here.
Remember that pesky cheating Grandpa of mine? Well, he wasn`t that bad of a dude after all. He married my real grandmother Candelaria Guerrero in 1904 and shortly thereafter my mother was born in 1906. My mother was born Margarita with my grandfather`s surname (Baray). I got this pleasant news when I saw my Mother`s death certificate dated 1970. There I finally saw the parents names of the deceased -- my real grandmother and grandfather who lived long enough to ask me how his favorite child was. From here it was easy for me to trace back to the day they were married in 1904.
The old woman who ran the torture chambers during my childhood life I saw as my grandmother in San Antonio today bring to my mind the true reasons why she hated my mother to her grave. I now know why all my aunts, hated my mother and saw her as an outsider and outcast. None of these people had a single gene from my real grandmother so this made her an outcast but she was my grandfather`s favorite child.
The earliest aunt born to my grandfather and the torture bearer was Hortencia in 1919, almost twenty years after his marriage to Candelaria Guerrero. I truly doubt the old coot was a bigamist, for I have it that my real grandmother died shortly after marriage. I am working on that rumor hopefully its untrue. The rest of my aunts and uncles on my grandfather`s side were not even born yet. It is now clear to me why that woman greeted my mother and me with so much scorn and hate that even a child like me could see that morning when I first stepped on her porch. I owe this new knowledge to genealogy and its magical well of family historical information.
Remember Amelia, that skinny girl not too much older than me when I first stepped on her porch as a child? She is the only one standing of all the family tree on the side of my Mother`s father. The tree that I first started out trying to prune and water at the roots upon deciding to be a genealogist here on Daily Kos. Amelia is still alive. She and my late brother were both been born in 1933. One is gone, the other is close behind.
She spends her days as I understand just waiting for the end. She had seven kids. Six girls and only one boy. I guess that this follows that Amelia has planted those seeds for her own family tree so her children to can later, much later in life trace back the history of their family tree who brought them to this dance to go waltzing, wa-wa-wah waltzing, with bears. I have previously touched briefly on this cycle of human nature that keeps life in over drive.
In reiterating, it was my pleasure to have shared my pesky ancient ancestor`s secrets and surprises with you. There is no way they were deliberately hiding anything from anyone in particular. Scientific technology advancements in the field of genealogy would not allow that, and that much I am sure of.
So I pose these questions along with the burden to those who have volunteered to do a search for me if I asked. Let me remind you though. I have written this Open Thread`s contents with full knowledge that I have repeatedly written of having lost siblings to starvation during the Great Depression era. The word shown in the death certificate of Alexander Lopez "Marasmus" haunts me. This is why I now feel like the only limb in my family tree swaying against the wind.
Based on what you have read, is it possible that Alejandro Lopez , and Alexander Lopez are one and the same kid? Is it possible that Barail and Baray are the same surname caused by a typo? I have had many here offering to do searches for me.
Here is an opportunity if you still want to do that. Please find me a connection. One connection that will place the person "Barail" so near to me that I must accept that I am wrong in refusing to believe in a typo. I will thank you from the bottom of my heart -- no matter which way the ball bounces so to speak. Genealogy as I said, has given me pleasant findings and some peace of mind. Whatever the outcome to my questions here will just add to that therapy and tonic that I have come to enjoy here. Learning here has been monumental to my heart.
I am not yet done with genealogy. If it is thumbs down to my skeptical views on the death certificate information, so be it. I will repeat. It is not over til its over. I will continue searching for the other siblings. This group inspires me and I hope to some day be a true genealogist like you.