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Insert truthy expository paragraph full of self-gratifying fear chum to the throbbing forehead-veins who've migrated from Infowars to Daily Kos over the past few months.  Doesn't really have to be informative in any substantive way, so long as it confirms the prejudices and fears of said crowd while warning darkly of worse to come.  Worse, that is, than what they assume to already be the case, rather than what actually is the case - since who knows or cares what that really is?  The point is to further the narrative that serves the person telling it rather than enlighten the person hearing it.  Facts are optional, but context and rational proportion are strictly forbidden in any case.

Insert generic fire-and-brimstone sermon about the state of American liberty.  Include any and all convenient anecdotes, but addressing root causes would just be boring and suggesting solutions would be counterproductive for your purposes.

Optional: Major media headline story.  Addressing the media skeptically or putting in greater thought than the originator would be anathema.  Besides, the point is to feed on the same zeitgeist as the media, not attempt to rise intellectually and morally above it.  Minimum thought = maximum room for the audience to put their own personal imprint on the vacuum.  Never, ever suggest solutions or have ideas.

Cross-link promiscuously to other major media headline stories of equal caliber without attempting to insert any critical thinking or contextual connective tissue: Let the reader fill in the blanks with their own fears and prejudices.  If God had meant Man to think critically he wouldn't have invented innuendo and the Paste function.

Shout-out to other bloggers who do the same so they know you're on their side.  Bullshit artists need to stick together in this crazy world.

Presto, you've started your own Mini-Village.  

You've stood up to power and let it be known loud and clear that the next time they intend to fabricate an excuse for a war, you intend to be among the stenographers included in the junket.

What's Woodward got that I ain't got?  I can be just as full of shit in only 10% of the words!  

Start the count-down to your Peabody.

Noun, verb, Rec List.


12:59 AM PT: Don't forget to include your Ron and/or Rand Paul ad.  

1:36 AM PT: Oh, and never, ever mention economic inequality.  That drives the Paulites who've taken over this place batshit.

2:52 AM PT: Oh boy, the usual circle-jerk of trolls has shown up.  How are these people still on Daily Kos?  They don't contribute anything, ever - they just piss all over everyone else and Rec each other's smears.

3:26 AM PT: I'm informed by...heh...credible sources that Obama did "nothing" to deal with economic inequality in 2009 with a Democratic Congress, and that it's racist to say otherwise.  Oh, and that it's HR-worthy to deny this.  I knew I was asking for trouble dissing Ron Paul in the dead of night.

4:45 AM PT: Just a teency, little, modest criticism: When your response to the gentlest of implied, general snark is an unhinged personal jihad against the diarist, you're not really the most credible authority on measured behavior and rational conversation.  You're really just another WATB troll who deserves a royal ass-kicking from everyone you meet, be it from your own grandma, random soccer moms who cross your path, or the Dalai Lama.  Someone's shoe should be permanently lodged up your ass instead of that stick that seems to be.

5:35 AM PT: I think I get it now.  You're only supposed to tell truth to power that's far away - never to your friends.  This struck a nerve.

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