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i wanted to personally thank the blogathon for bringing us to the attention of the community.  thanks to remembrance, i got to buy sani food this week and keep my car insured.

i may be off the grid for a bit, though, my phone bill is due tomorrow and i've three more major bills coming due that got put off due to the trip to n.c.  as some of you know, these last few months have been tumultous - the left over loss of the majority of the use of my left hand due to an inept physical therapist who delayed starting treatment after my hand surgery last december (she waited a full month because, in her own words, "i'm really BOOKED!").  that left enough time for severe scar tissue to set in - and it is only now that i have partial use of my hand back ... and another procedure scheduled for jan 6 where, under nerve block, my surgeon will force my fingers to bend through the scarring.  that may or may not work but physical therapy THIS time starts on jan 7 - if not, then i get to go under the knife again to cut the tendons loose from the ligaments that are blocked with the scarring.

then, my room mate took a job with her friend as a "wildlife trapper" - and she kills what she catches.  this is against EVERYTHING that i have done in my life in wildlife rehabilitation... so i fled the room i was forced to take in her house when i lost my cottage last december (2012) due to mom's will not being resolved.  (little did i know then what was to come...)

ao, in july, after multiple askings from a friend's 88 yr old mom, i moved into her condo to stay until my lawyer was able to get mom's estate resolved. (yes, we had to go there - seems my sister closed probate over two years ago without ever showing me the will SHE wrote and signed and presented to the court... more on that down the road - but, folks, HAVE a NEUTRAL arbitrator on ALL wills - NOT a family member as an executrix/or)

more below the squiggle... if you are interested in the trials and tribulations that will eventually make their way into a book/script.

soooo, i moved in with my friend's mother - my friend was on the verge of a nervous breakdown - her mom was difficult, at best, and at worst - well... think 88 yr old depressed widow who is angry and disabled and sick.

yep.  sick.  when i moved in, her blood pressure was through the roof, she had an undetected UTI, was taking enough pills to put a small pharmacy in the black for the year (many of which were counter indicating each other) AND ambien.

she has severe scoliosis and her back was killing her - so i went in to see what was wrong with her bed - oops. a 40 yr old bed slanted so severely that she almost rolled off when she turned - stopped only by the VERY lumpy 40 yr old mattress cover that looked like sand dunes.

i pulled the mattress cover, propped her up with pillows to support her back and the next morning, told her daughter she needed to either go to urgent care OR the E.R. that day due to the UTI.  her mom was confused, dizzy, unable to get around and severely dehydrated.

off they went.  UTI diagnosed and antibiotics prescribed.  then i looked at her meds and high blood pressure readings and saw numbers between 179 - 198 --- bordering on heart attack and stroke.  had her daughter take her to the heart specialist where her meds were upped and her pressure dropped to highest of 147.  

now to the meds... her bladder meds (she, like so many seniors, is incontinent - so she won't drink water (thus constantly dehydrated) - her high blood pressure meds - yes.  then she was taking pepcid, zantac (both same things for heartburn), anti-nausea meds and, because she couldn't sleep, 1/3 pill ambien.  (she weighs less than 100 lbs and is under 5'

add to the mix a ton of vitamins and other supplements daily - i started looking up side effects.

duh!  anti-nausea causes dizziness.  ambien causes dizziness and confusion, high blood pressure - confusion, dehydration, dizziness and confusion, ambien, confusion and memory issues.... damm - this woman was a toxicological disaster!

oh, and she didn't eat - only pills!  no WONDER she had heartburn!

SOOOOOoooo.... got her off the nausea meds (which her doctor conveniently never remembered prescribing for her after her sister in law told her to ask for them), got her off ambien and got a new bed that took care of the pain in her back at night, got the blood pressure meds balanced, got her to eat food instead of zantec and pepcid, TRIED to get her to drink more water (not so successful on that one).

her confusion cleared up - i got exactly two days of jewelry done during all the doctor appts, barely got to see my horse due to staying close until her daughter came by around 5pm every day... a month and a half gone in the blink of an eye.

this is where it gets interesting/not-so-funny.  since she no longer felt unable to stay at home, my life turned into a living hell.  she began complaining that i was "staying out late" every night.  

huh?  i stayed there until her daughter came - went to the barn at the same time (her daughter also has a horse at the barn) to take care of sani - then left to sometimes stop by grocer to get food and then go home.  if i came in later than 8pm, she pitched fits.

"single women don't stay out after 8pm" _ damn! i had myself a curfew!  NOT!  on several occasions i met a friend for dinner or had a meeting with the LAEVAC team -- got home to a sulking angry old woman.  no matter how much i tried to reason with her, no luck.

the real issue was that she felt better and no longer wanted someone around 24/7.  why?  she appears to be in the early stages of dementia and has made comments that she is frightened.  her brother died of dementia and rather than find out and get treatment, it is easier to drive away anyone who might notice.  i realized i was the fourth person to fall into this category.

and, yes, out of the blue, she told me to leave - she wanted to live alone.  AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH~

told her i'd be out in three days - only 12 hrs later, got hit by the gall bladder attack from hell.  ended up in the hospital at 6:30 am the next morning and less than 48 hrs later, i was in the hospital having a very VERY bad galbladder removed.  her daughter worked it out where i'd be there until january 1st (i'mma thinking NOT gonna happen!) - then 6 days later, i ended up in the hospital with a bladder that shut down after anesthesia - my kidneys were showing damage from the backup and i got slapped into the hospital for three days of a major saline wash through my system.  while there, i told my friend that she had to move my things out of her mom's and back to the original room - i would not go back into the condo for my own sanity.

got back to my original crash place to find my trapper friend hostile because i wouldn't "talk" to her about her choice of professions/activities.  told her that i still wouldn't and that as a TRUE friend, i was probably the ONLY person who dared tell her that she was doing something that would have long and damaging repercussinos in her life.  we've struck a strained truce for now.

add to all this, i had to make reservations to go to n.c. to talk to my lawyer about my mom's estate - the one my sister embezzled.  during all of this turmoil, my charming sister filed over labor day weekend a petition with the court to force the sale of mom and dad's home - the last one i shared with them.  she claimed i wouldn't talk to her about it and she wanted to collect her "legal fees" involved in the sale.  i got the notice sept 17 and was told the hearing was 0ct 1.  she figured i'd never be able to respond - wouldn't have the funds or ability to fight the hearing - which would go on whether i was there or not.  she didn't count on my having a VERY good lawyer AND a social security check that had just arrived but not paid out into bills yet.  that check went for ticket to n.c. and expenses while there.  there goes an unexpected $963 plus a borrowed $300.... sigh.  (hi hole, looking deeper than usual, you are!)

while i was in the hospital, the hearing was held.  my lawyer and i didn't object to the sale of the house - i'd been trying to get her to put it on the market since the end of 2013 since neither of us planned to live there.  

she claimed in court i wouldn't communicate with her - my lawyer presented over an inch high stack of emails where i am BEGGING her to put the house on the market.  he asked about the pawleys island property, to wit she claimed it was landlocked on a bog.  my dear lawyer pulled out the google earth map showing the address and easement off ocean ave and all the commercial property on two sides and the multiple homes on the other two sides and asked her if THOSE buildings were ALSO on that "bog" - impeached her testimony several more times during the hearing to the point her own lawyer told her to "shut up".  

the hearing officer said the other property was not part of the action and would have to be resolved by challenging the will (she wrote that property to be her sole inheritance) - so my lawyer thanked the officer for reminding him and from his breast pocket, pulled the papers and served her with the caveat right then and there - with the court as witnesses!

he said he had "fun".  so did i as he told me about this whilei was in a hospital bed!

she did not get her "legal fees" (which, i can only assume were the fees she has had to pay to answer my attorney's questions about what has happened with this estate - and which she has repeated told lies to try to explain how "disappeared" - ah, but we're not done by far!

the court now had had the house appraised (something i could not get her to do (as was required by estate law) - and will be in charge of the sale - AND will be in charge of the disbursement of the assets of the home.

so, next, we ask for a hearing to include the value of the antiques that are now gone, the furniture, a lifetime of living in mom and dad's home for 50+ years - a home paid for free and clear... and will ask for that property to be decided and deducted from the sale of the house (since getting blood from a stone would be easier than getting a penny from my sister).

and, as to the house?  that's why i went home - to say good bye to mom and dad and all that i knew of my family - our pets buried in the back yard, the memories that i hold that are happy, the joy my parents had at buying that home and the love that went into it - while trying to leave out the turmoil that always existed when my sister appeared on the scene - the discord, the arguments, the anger.

i thought i'd be sad - instead, i spent 4 1/2 days laughing my head off - but that i'll share on the 25th.  it is its own diary and will be the grieving room for that day.  not what i expected - yet i'm not done going through the experience.

and, yes, we have a potential buyer - while i was in the house, a woman came to the door to ask if i were moving in.  when i told her it was mom's house, she sighed and said neighbors of mom and dad who knew them had told her of the home two years ago.  seems her son and daughter-in-law have been looking at this house from the beginning.  they sold their own home and moved in with her (along with their 1 1/2 yr old daughter) to wait for mom's home to come on the market.  they've come by - looked in the windows, built an extension in their minds, a garage and playroom and decorated it for two years.

by the time i got the closets cleared out (all the furniture and antiques are gone) - it took me 4 1/2 days.  i turned the key back to my lawyer to give to the commissioner in charge and they had picked it up the same morning to do the inspection.

they made a bid. it has been accepted.  now, if there is no other bid within the 10 day court ordered waiting period, this young couple can finally start redecorating mom and dad's home and filling it again with laughter and love.  i secretly hope there is no other bid!

i should know by the middle of next week.

so.... the purpose of this long personal story is to say that this kossack's trial by sorrow is almost over.  in another two, three at the most, months, i'll no longer be struggling to pay for the basics like car insurance, phone bill, gas - and i'll be able to take care of my pony and puppy without having to rely on the good graces of good friends.

i'm not quite there yet - tomorrow i have to raise $54 or my phone goes off - $140 or lose yet another storage locker containing my life - $157 for pony feed - $83 to cover the bounced check for my reunion (money disappeared from my checking while i was gone and i cannot account for where it went...8^(

the good news is if i get the locker opened, i've got things to sell out of it - like ikea shelving and other items that can pay for things until the beginning of the year.

the better thing is that i'm now able to make some jewelry again - my hand is slow - but it's working well enough to slowly create.  i'm waiting until jan 6 for the second proceedure since i can't afford not to be able to work during the holiday season - not again.

the other GOOD news is that sani is now 1 year and 2 months from his laminitic episode!  he is on the road to returning to a full life - i just need to keep him on a special diet and meds and he should live out a normal life now...  it's been a long haul but we made it through!

lyublyu - my baby with the krinkly tail was indeed the sammy that would have come back three times - and i got him first!  out of a littler of top show puppies with pedigrees from here to yon - HE was born with a piglet tail - got caught around the umbilical cord and takes him out of contention - like i care!  his breeder, my friend, had heard from me in the years leading up to poppy having pups that i wanted the one no one else would want - the trouble maker - the one who was different.  we all knew from the day he was born that he was mine!  i am thrilled! (hopefully, he is, too!)

(and for any cynics who would wonder why i would take on a puppy when times are so hard - that is EXACTLY why - when things in my life have been the darkest, when i didn't feel i had a reason to go on, what has kept me moving forward was the responsibility toward my puppies, my ponies.  no time for self- pity, no time for dark and depressive thoughts - there are lives who depend on me to get up, get out of bed, keep on living and take care of those lives when my own didn't feel worth taking care of.  they have saved me many times - and the puppy was my commitment to living another 15 years minimum.  believe me, there were times when i seriously did not WANT to make that commitment!)

so... now you know what's been keeping me off the web these last months - what has delayed my working on my etsy shop - delays in some deliveries... but all is ALMOST settled.

still a bit of legal stuff to do - but that part is now not emotional - just takes some time - will tell about that at a later date.  all i can say right now is that i am truly blessed to have a lawyer who also believes in honor and right and wrong.  this is about more than "stuff" - it is about what is moral and honest and ethical.

well - here's the bottom line - if anyone has been thinking of christmas shopping, if you can  take a look, i'd appreciate it - at 10 am the 18th, i have no phone.  everything else i mentioned is almost as critical - then things smooth out for a bit - if you don't see something you like, or if you see something previously sold, i can re-make some designs - but i really need your help right now.

very very soon, i won't EVER have to say that again - and i can be the one helping instead of asking - and that i will be doing!

i'm going to be adding daily to the shop - and i'm adding a gift certificate option, too.

lastly, remember, everything is built with love - and, sadly, i may not be able to continue to do these beautiful pearls - my pearl supplier has said she is closing that aspect of their business - that breaks my heart - they also put so much love into their store - i have never found pearls that could compare with theirs so i may move into another realm of being.

thanks for bearing with me this far - this is as much a catharsis of the difficulties of what has happened in the last year and what, hopefully, is coming to an end soon!

hugs to all my orange family - thank you for being there with kind words and emotional support!

love ya all!

edrie

ps

if anyone would like to go directly through paypal, i'll send you a "surprise" - something i promise you'll like!

my paypal is listed as

edrie.blackwelder@gmail.com

Sat Nov 16, 2013 at 11:42 PM PT: and don't forget the leonid meteor showers after midnight tonite!  go watch the lightshow at it's best!  and remember, each star stands for someone or some creature you once loved!

2:03 AM PT: i'm going to  bed now - exhausted, but am light in spirit since i just learned that there are orange angels on earth!

nite,  all - thanks for the ears...

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Comment Preferences

  •  Wow, what a story ... (6+ / 0-)

    Glad to hear the good news mixed in there. Folks should click on the link in your sig and maybe just have a look at the beautiful stones you use in your work. Lovely. I'm a bit too deep in the red myself this year to be able to actually spend much on gifts but the Kos Katalogue is helping my optimism as I make a few sales occasionally. More in the works so here's hopin' ...

  •  Damn lady (5+ / 0-)

    That is one hell of a tale. I hope that isn't my future.

    •  message me - can't go into everything here (6+ / 0-)

      at this time - but this is just the tip of the iceberg.

      needless to day, this isn't easy - but you've done the right thing - you have lawyers involved from the getgo - before things magically vanish.  

      even all the photo albums of our family are gone - what better way to hide what was in the house - 'exceptin' she forgot she kept sending me iphone videos.

      ;)

      EdriesShop Is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

      by edrie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 12:24:30 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  oh, and this is just the first half - not the (3+ / 0-)

      actual challenge to the will - that comes down the road - and it is a slam dunk that it is invalid.

      then the beach property goes on the block.  some things are consequences of dishonesty and lying.  that is one.

      EdriesShop Is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

      by edrie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 12:25:33 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  oh, and jakedog - get a good camera - even if (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Lorikeet, SanFernandoValleyMom

      your cell phone - go visit the house and photograph EVERYTHING - look in drawers, look in closets - take pictures.

      if the will isn't filed yet, you have every legal right to be in the home.

      it isn't until the filing that the "executor" has control - until then, everyone is legally allowed into the house.

      take advantage of that to document everything you can.

      be especially careful of bank accounts/cds, etc.  you want to try to find account numbers - a common behavior by those less than honest is to deplete the accounts and make funds disappear into bogus maintenance claims.

      this is the time to be vigilent - especially if you suspect someone is trying to take advantage of every one else's grief.

      i'm sorry you are learning this dirty little american secret...  sadly, it is far too common than people realize because no one likes to point out that their relatives are thieves, dishonest, selfish, greedy, etc.

      sadly, my own only sister could have had anything she wanted - all she had to do was ask.  she chose to lie and steal and "take" instead.  that was a poor choice on her part.

      EdriesShop Is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

      by edrie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 09:36:51 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Wow edrie! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    edrie

    I am so happy that things are looking up!

    This

    her blood pressure was through the roof, she had an undetected UTI, was taking enough pills to put a small pharmacy in the black for the year (many of which were counter indicating each other)
    is so familiar. I started doing home care for an elderly woman and she was in the same state with meds. Her daughter would call her doctor brother in Fla, and get him to write a scrip for what she thought she needed. I was horrified when I sat her meds out on the table and started researching. I finally called her gp and made an appointment for Sat. morning, called the daughter, who would be coming in, and told her. I put the drugs in a bag and set them on the table. Within a week, my old lady was very much better. Unlike your situation, we developed a wonderful relationship over the 5 years I cared for her. Lots of bumps due to the ignorance and jealousy of the children, but Mrs.E was always on my side, calling me her "lifeline". I stayed by her as much as I could in her final hospitalization, and was comforted to know that her beloved niece was with her when she passed.

    The animals! I too have spent many a morning getting up only because of them. And I think it's puppy time, and rightfully so. Nothing like a pup learning that it can jump up and turn around in the air to lift a spirit. You go girl!

    Only thing more infuriating than an ignorant man is one who tries to make others ignorant for his own gain. Crashing Vor

    by emmasnacker on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 06:48:26 AM PST

    •  ah, puppy is SLOWLY removing every single cat toy (0+ / 0-)

      from their basket and transporting them to his room - all toyz belong to HIM, in his mind!  

      now, to save the kitty toyz, we're off to the barn - the reasons for my smiles!  that, and this community!

      have a wonderful multifooted day!

      EdriesShop Is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

      by edrie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 03:37:06 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  So glad for you, edrie (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    edrie, SanFernandoValleyMom

    Loved that in the courtroom your attorney was able to slam-dunk prove the truth of the property and everything.  

    Oh, and having a puppy:  I know what you mean. When you're a single person with no kids, it's so important to have someone to love and to care for.  Someone who needs you.  I've seen pix of piglet-tailed puppy, and he is gorgeous.  

    I'll take a look at your shop - I wear the earrings I bought from you every week - love them!

    Take care, edrie, and keep us updated.

    "We must understand that fossil-fuel energy must be replaced not just by clean energy but also by less energy." --Wendell Berry

    by Knockbally on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 07:09:53 AM PST

    •  me, too. he is such an honorable man - keeps on (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Knockbally

      saying quietly "this isn't RIGHT! it's just WRONG!"

      the interesting thing is that he used to be on the board of estate giving for my alma mater (also my sister's) - and his wife was a freshman when i was a senior.

      that honor code thing - it is so simple - we vowed not to cheat, lie or steal and to live by honor..

      similar code for davidson, his alma mater.

      we both live by that code.

      don't understand what happened to my sister - she took the same oath... but it didn't seem to stick with her.

      as things change, you all will know.  my goal is to make sure people take care of their estates, their parents estates so that this doesn't happen to anyone else!  

      it is critical to have a NEUTRAL executor/executrix - one without a personal stake  in the outcome.  and it is critical to have a clear will and instructions over the estate.

      that doesn't encompass those who would take from the elderly while they are still living - that is another issue that one day we should look at more closely.  elder abuse in this nation is a major problem that is hidden from view.

      so much to focus on down the road!

      now, out to the puppy and the pony - it is a day of paddock cleaning and brushing and letting both babies run (on a lunge line) for some exercise!  i get some, too, that way!

      have a great sunday!

      EdriesShop Is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

      by edrie on Sun Nov 17, 2013 at 03:35:33 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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