First a little background.
I am a divorced father of one spectacular son. I am a soon to be published short story writer. I get to write for Daily Kos Labor. I have a decent job. The only thing missing in my life is someone to share it with. I thought I found her once in my post divorce world, I turned out to be wrong. I found out I was wrong when while in the middle of writing my thesis (and after dating for two years) when she called me on the phone and ended it. I still don't know why to this day. It has taken me almost two years to get to a point where I really wanted to date again.
Three years ago, after a years of suffering from an Army injury I had a disc removed from my neck, because of the pain pre and post surgery I was inactive and put on some weight. My weight is coming down slowly but surely as I become more active. It has been a long road but one that was necessary.
Being in your forties and dating is difficult at best, especially when you live in a college town and everything is geared for single twenty-somethings. All of my friends are married or in committed relationships. I am pretty much on my own. I went to eHarmony and tried to set up an account there - I evidently failed their personalty test. I was rejected by eHarmony.
So I decided to try Match.com. I can honestly say I am not sure which is worse, the fake profiles of scammers trying to get my cell phone number, the women that never respond to an e-mail, or the ones who think they are being honest but in reality are just being cruel. In the last two months that I have been on Match I have received the following two e-mails:
I know this is unsolicited advice, but lets be honest...you need to work out and lose weight...No thank you.and
I have no doubt that you are a great guy, since I have read your profile before. You are just too heavy for me, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be cruel - just honest.Both of these were in responses to e-mails I had sent simply introducing myself. They could have said no thank you, they did not even have to respond as most women do. But these two chose to be cruel. I do not understand why they chose to be this way towards me. I get it if you are not attracted to me. I am fine with that. But to tell me I am fat - what in the fuck is the point of that? Does that make you feel superior to me in some way?
While I will never understand cruelty in the guise of honesty I do know this. I am a good and decent man. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be and while I may be overweight now - the weight will come off; however, these two women, will have ugly souls forever.
11:55 AM PT: Just so there is some perspective here...I am heavyset, but am by no means as big as she makes me out to be