Media Release: by freelance investigative reporter Belinda Beth Minchuolowixz
Preparing the Way: Republicans Leak Plans
for Self-Elimination Program
Although an official announcement is not expected until sometime between late November 2016 and early February 2017, already information regarding the Republicans’ plan for a “Self-Elimination” Program is slowly being leaked. Like all controlled leaks, this one is undoubtedly calculated to prepare the way for public acceptance of this radical new concept.
A Republican Congressional aide, who asked to remain anonymous, explained the rationale behind the plan.
It is a hard and fast fact that too many people are surplus to requirements in the modern-day free market. There just aren’t enough jobs to go around and there never will be. Everybody knows this.
Advances in technology, especially in robotics, is rapidly reducing the need for human workers. Add to that the unlimited resource of very cheap, overseas labor and the conclusion is obvious: we have a surfeit of people that we cannot afford to support.
So far, rumors as to the origins of the plan are quiet but the betting for Rep Paul Ryan (R-WI 1st District) leads the field of possibilities. Not surprisingly, Rep Ryan’s office flatly denied the rumor. As our source explained:
It’s been agreed that all rumors will be denied. In fact no Republican will even admit to the plan at this early stage. That’s how you will know this is a surety because everyone will deny it; we’re all solid on this. That isn’t to say that it isn’t a lock for the 115th Congressional agenda, it definitely is. But they want to iron out the details first. Meantime they are putting out feelers, letting people savor the idea and realize its benefits to them personally ahead of the official announcement.
Confirmation of the plan’s certainty was verified by an influential GOP insider who agreed to speak candidly on condition of anonymity.
Yes, yes, it’s a definite go-ahead. We’ve been laying the groundwork for this, very solid groundwork too, for a couple of years now. I think most people see how profitless the poor are and what a massive burden they are on the economy. Terrorists are the enemy outside but the poor are the enemy within and I believe most people see that now. We’ve worked tirelessly to lay that groundwork and it’s paying off.
When asked for a more specific description of the program itself, he explained:
There are just too many people, more than this country can reasonably support, so anyone who wants to eliminate themselves will be offered a humane and painless way to do that. There’ll be medical professionals there to see it’s all done properly and ethically.
When confronted with the idea that some people are bound to find this objectionable, he responded:
Like bleeding-heart liberals you mean? Oh yes, they object to everything; it’s in their nature. That’s what they do. But they don’t have a problem with abortions do they? So I don’t see why they’d have a problem with this. And it’s a voluntary program. It’s not like we’ll be murdering people.
I asked him why he thought anyone would voluntarily submit to self-elimination.
They’ll be incentivized. We’ll be abolishing all safety net programs – they have to go. Medicaid and most of Social Security will have to go too. You can’t keep punishing the wealthiest and most successful of our citizens to prop up the, let’s be honest about this, those who have no useful purpose. Those who can’t get jobs are not going to want to starve in the streets when they have a painless alternative, are they.
We’re pretty sure most prisoners will volunteer too because they’re not going to be able to get a job with a criminal record. There will be legislation to make sure they can’t and we’ll be changing sentencing laws to offer them the alternative of self-elimination from the outset. It will be a blow to the private prisons of course but we’re looking at ways of compensating them.
When prompted for further information, he answered:
Converting prisons to holding places for the volunteers for a start. We’ll have to put them all somewhere and empty prisons are a ready-made solution. We’ll be outfitting self-elimination rooms on site too so we can avoid the cost of transporting them somewhere else.
He went on to explain how the GOP saw this as at least a partial solution to the "immigration problem" too though it was the suggestion that many American-born citizens would opt to leave the country that unexpectedly resurrected Mitt Romney's idea of "self deportation".
Most poors can’t afford to move to the next neighbourhood let alone out of the country. But if any people do want to self-deport, those near a border for instance, we won’t be stopping them.
It's hard to believe that such a radical concept could garner sufficient support to be a viable policy but this GOP insider was convinced they would have the numbers come 2016.
Most people are more than halfway there already. They’re sick of their taxes, their money, their hard earned wages, being given to poors. We’ve made sure of that and it isn’t like it took much effort. People see that for themselves when you put it to them that way.
By November next year, they’ll vote in a Republican president on a tsumani, not a wave, a tsunami, mark my words. And what have the Democrats got to counter that? More and more spending? Higher and higher taxes? That isn’t going to wash. I don’t care what the polls say now, no Democrat has a chance against this program.
It’s going to be the most popular and successful social program we ever implement. All the media, television, radio, newspapers, internet; they’re all going to be full of it and urging the useless to give themselves up. It’s going to be a different America in 2017.
What you have just read is a People Power Project proposal.
In all other diaries to date, the presentation of proposals has been preceded by an introduction providing background to the idea. Here that routine has been reversed in order to elicit more spontaneous reactions as a better test of the proposal. If you know the proposal has been specifically designed to shock then the shock factor itself is erased so no true test of its effectiveness can be gauged. It’s a variation on the Observer Effect where observation changes the observed.
Unlike previous ad proposals, this one is structured as a media release because the idea fitted that format. The addition of the fictional investigative reporter (with the impossible surname) is there to give verisimilitude to what follows – there’s obviously an interviewer so I just gave her a name.
This particular idea has its origins in many diaries and many, many comments. It owes its existence to “the best defence is offense” kind of pushback against Republican propaganda, an approach most recently expressed in Steven D’s excellent diary The Serengeti Strategy – Why Conservatives Smear People to End Debate & How to Combat it.
I am relying on your comments to tell me if it worked. What was your reaction as you read it? You all know some Republicans – what would you guess would be their reaction? Would any media print/report the story if it was disseminated as a media release (other than The Onion!) or would it work as an ad but in this media release format? Would it work at all? I’m looking forward to your comments!
Ad proposals in previous diaries:
Which America do you want to live in?
A Message from the Republican Party
It isn't Size that Matters...
What Has Government Ever Done For Us?
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