Kayaktivists mobilize In Seattle and North to stop the misguided plan to try and tap into the resources already causing massive degradation to the livability of the planet. With a history of contempt for people and environments [Niger Delta and Ecuador] they are trying, for the second time to work in an area with a shorter total drill season than the time the Gulf gusher was spewing deep beneath the surface. Odds of serious trouble if they continue have been put at 75%.
Xenored was there, just N of Seattle and our brave and courageous reporters met the behemoth on the Salish Sea as it got stuck trying to wait out the worst part of the flood tide. XR News Service in keeping with journalistic standards of total objectivity, were herded by the Coast Guard, while conditions on the water were becoming more challenging, our tax dollars paying OUR rescue heroes [normally] to obstruct and intimidate our observers while helping a multinational conglomerate in their mission to despoil the Arctic. This is a bit of what happened. It was written yesterday hours after reaching solid ground. What happened was NOT funny. Please enjoy this take on it with more fair reporting you'll ever get on Faux.
Royal Dutch Shell, to consolidate scrap metal has put together a massive pile of it and called it the Polar Exploder; or was it Destroyer?; maybe Plunderer. We're not sure. We do know Puget Sound was lucky enough to have it displayed prominently in the waters of the Salish Sea. Xenored, though adamant to not get off his couch, was compelled to have a look.
The kayak was a little bigger than most but to carry a couch it had to be. Paddles were a little longer than normal too or he would have never been able to dip them in the water. He was prepared. His remote was in a waterproof bag and carried close to his heart. The water bottle and cheap radio transmitter were an after thought. He headed out from Edmonds Wa. On calm seas to watch [from an objective standpoint, in keeping with his admiration for the brave and fair people at Faux]. It was supposed to be a three hour tour.
Fortunately some other more professional reporters were on the scene to chronical the event.
To avoid the flood tide, the scrap parade stopped just N. of Kingston to dig clams. Red tide beats a black tide on the roulette wheel I guess.
Xeno crossed the shipping channel, with some minor annoyance at a couple of splashes on his couch, and headed S to watch. The coast guard was on the scene as either clam digging has gotten more scary or perhaps they assumed the clams would be shared.
A few other tiny craft were on the water though none as comfortable as the XR News Service flag ship. There appeared to be a 500 yard exclusion zone around the diggers so we assume there wouldn't be enough clams to share with all. It was puzzling the coast guard was enforcing such a thing as they weren't moving. We assume they really relish their seafood. Even more surprising as they began to move again was them chasing the tiny craft while towing the ten story behemeth. Imagine, if you will, a quadruple decker train bearing down on a tiny tricycle rider. That was how Xeno felt. Apparently they needed to get to the next clam bed ahead of us. We were more concerned with keeping the remote dry [imagine if you will having to get up to change the channel].
Low and behold, right off the starboard is a hull. We paddle port only to find it crowding us again. The CG vessel was seriously encroaching on our exclusion zone unless it's less than 10 feet. This is a big channel and we are a long way from where we put in. They were nice enough to light my cigarette while in such close proximity. Now we're being shoved farther afield. The rougher water appeared to be a result of all the activity that was now ahead of us as the entourage entered the shipping lanes. Another reporter, towing a vacated kayak sited maritime law. He also had a vessel in tow and was being overtaken and passed.
He was summarily shoved off course too without an audience with the CG CO.
We resumed our journey only to find we were battling a head wind. Numerous white caps and some exciting swells required keeping companions in sight and consumed our focus to the exclusion of all other interests with the exception of getting across shipping lanes before being overtaken by a fast moving cargo ship. A bit of a flood tide didn't help. One reporter fell from view. That was concerning to say the least. Also, after an hour and a half of paddling, our destination appeared to be getting farther away. If we were salmon, spawning appeared unlikely. Xeno began rethinking the need for his couch considering the sail IT made. We toiled on as the four legged scrap supply became smaller. Worry continued about unseen reporter. We never considered we wouldn't persevere but darkness would be coming on in another 4 or 5 hours or so and Xenored was holding things up a bit. Just when we thought all was lost [not really, just seemed like a good time t say that] the coast guard reappeared. I said "no, I don't need a cigarette now I'm a little too busy". They asked if I was okay and we chatted about the challenging conditions out there until finally Xenored caught up with us. He looked a bit bedraggled. Then a wake hit and over he went couch and all. He began swimming after it until the yeoman hooked him from his suspenders and dragged him back kicking and screaming to the boat and safety. They loaded kayaks and paddles and dropped us in Edmonds doing the real work the Coast Guard is known and loved for. The couch was not saved. Xeno was nearly bawling until I reminded him he still had his remote. We mentioned one more from our group was still out on a kayak.
We hiked back to our vehicle, got on dry clothes, loaded the kayaks and secured them, played a game of chess, wrote this report, and edited my latest book. The XR News Service reporter was still missing. We started to worry more. Word out and none back, we called for a search. We headed out too trying to confirm whereabouts. We never considered he may have gone WITH the tide, rising as it was, and wind at his back, put in to the S. of us closer to Seattle but far from the vehicle and destination. We have found he did not.
We now know he went to the close shore, dropped off and hid the kayak being towed and went back into the water for the 'jaunt' to Kingston. After probably 2 to 3 hours of toiling [we're guessing] he made it and jumped on the ferry to Edmonds. We had departed there to continue the search. The camera crew for our audio broadcast was there to greet him. Xenored is a little pissed off they never mounted a search for his couch. At XR News Service we are only relieved.
The Polar Destroyer is continuing it's journey N. apparently not realizing there are not facilities there to reuse it's many tons of scrap. The beckoning call of clams must be strong.
To all of those who need to unwelcome it's passage personally, be safe, careful, and good luck.
XR News Service: Special Report
Mon Jul 13, 2015 at 11:45 AM PT: New information on previous post has thrown into doubt some details presented there. Our other reporter who WE said was separated from us by the Coast Guard has informed us that he was not shoved into the channel but towards the shore side as we were. As much as we want to be more like Faux we cannot let this stand as written. Nor will we build on it to elicit more emotional responses. In the heat of the moment and in a rush to report the encounter we may have gotten that part wrong. We humbly apologize but regret that we cannot live down to the low standards set by Faux.