So, last week my son had a meltdown.
We've been hunting for an apartment to try to get out of the 10X10 room we are staying in. It's been a long trying time, and dealing with the bureaucratic doublespeak and long lines is not the best situation for a special needs student.
So he flipped out, tried to throw himself out of a moving car, then tried to punch everybody who tried to get him under control. Yes that included a cop. I shudder when I think of what might have happened had we been in even a slightly ambiguous situation.
(More on the Flip)
I'm just tired. Drove up to Medford, Oregon in order to try to find an apartment while he was in the hospital, and spent five days being rejected. I've already been rejected by almost everybody around here, almost always for the same reason. (I don't make enough money with my disability. 70%, but that ain't enough for landlords.)
What drives me crazy is I've offered to pay 6 months up front, double deposit, etc. I've got a guarantor in the form of the Veteran's Transition Center here in Monterey which has guaranteed they'll pay for 9 months. (The usual response is "We don't take Section 8" which is NOT the program.
I'm starting to feel like replying to every "Thank you for your service." with "Thank YOU for your lip service."
So anyhoo, had to fork over a hundred and fifty bucks for my son's prescription today, went to everybody who will allegedly help me to get the patented "We're working on it" response, and in general dealt with frustration today.
As far as my son goes, he's MUCH better. He's with 2 therapists and one psychiatrist. The good news is he's getting help. The bad news is that my situation seems to be contributing to his stress as much as mine. I'm doing everything I can, but I still cringe every time he gets ready to throw a tantrum because the last thing I need right now is a social worker telling me I'm in a situation which isn't a good environment for kids.
I'm WELL aware of that. My last landlord is pissed at me because they decided to remodel the apartment after I left and charge me for "Damages" which I declined to pay due to no itemized list being provided or mutual inspection. Yes we broke our lease because we could no longer pay the rent due to waiting on the disability which I FINALLY got less than a month ago. (Still waiting on the check due to a bureaucratic SNAFU, but that's to be expected.)
So, I'm stuck. I've spent six months hunting for an apartment that I can afford on my disability to exactly zero luck. My son is better but still in the situation that led to his initial breakdown.
It's funny. First I couldn't get an apartment because I had no money. Now I can't get one because I have money that people don't want to sully their hands to get. (There's a FORM...shudder... that needs to be filled out in order to get the VTC money.)
So, despair? Yeah. It's why I'm typing. Because I can't make anything happen by going through the "steps" needed. Been doing it for 6 months and still in a hundred square foot box. I'll give folks back all of their empty promises in exchange for one full one.
2:21 PM PT: Only have about five minutes here. Thanks for all the kind words folks, but I only get an hour a day and most days I spend on Craigslist. :)
Will try to update tomorrow.