After playing coy about his intentions for an extended period of time, on Monday, Jeb! (née Bush) formally entered the Republican presidential clown car, much to the surprise of no one.
Unfortunately for Jeb!, less than 24 hours later, the clown car was overturned when Donald "The Donald" Trump—reality TV's self-described friend of "the blacks" and really rich person—crashed the party, in his signature style.
Like a golden god, Trump descended from above and made it rain ($50 bills, y'all).
Speaking without a filter, and using only a one-page "financial report" for reference, he delivered a State-of-the-Union-length tour de farce which sent shockwaves all the way down to China.
Suffice it to say, the Mexican rapists and drug dealers got the message.
Now, no doubt, Trump faces some pretty steep barriers to securing the GOP nomination—but he's beaten the odds before.
I mean, do you know how difficult it is to bankrupt a casino ... four times?!
That takes greatness.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC); Former Arkansas Giv. Mike Huckabee (R); Roundtable: David Brooks (New York Times), Helene Cooper (New York Times), Eugene Robinson (Washington Post) and Gerald Seib (Wall Street Journal).
Face the Nation: NAACP President Cornell William Brooks; Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC); Charleston, SC Mayor Joseph Riley; Former Senior FBI Profiler Mary Ellen O'Toole; Sherrilyn Ifill (NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund); Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA); Roundtable: Gwen Ifill (PBS), David Ignatius (Washington Post), Michael Gerson (Washington Post) and Radio Talk Show Host Hugh Hewitt.
This Week: Charleston, SC Mayor Joseph Riley; Jelani Cobb (The New Yorker); Author Charlayne Hunter-Gault; Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA); Roundtable: Democratic Strategist Maria Cardona, Republican Strategist Sara Fagen and Steve Inskeep (NPR).
Fox News Sunday: Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R); Archbishop of Washington Cardinal Donald Wuerl; Roundtable: Republican Strategist Karl Rove, Peter Baker (New York Times), Kathleen Parker (Washington Post) and Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN).
State of the Union: Narcissist Donald Trump; Others TBD.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: an interview with FBI Director James Comey (preview); a report on the astronomical price of cancer drugs (preview); and, a report on efforts to save Italy's historic ruins and monuments (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Following Donald Trump's big announcement, Jon Stewart predicted that his last six weeks hosting The Daily Show will be his best six weeks.
The Daily Show:
Monday: Sen. Al Franken (D-MN); Tuesday: Writer/Actor/Director Seth MacFarlane; Wednesday: Andrew Napolitano (Fox News); Thursday: Comedian Richard Lewis.
Elsewhere...
Popular guy Jesus Christ is welcoming people to Texas, but in a totally non-religious way.
An East Texas mayor wants to keep Jesus on a sign that sits on city property. In Hawkins, an 18-ft wide purple and gold sign reads, in block letters, "Jesus Welcomes You to Hawkins." [...]
The reference to Jesus drew scrutiny from non-profit organization Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF) in Wisconsin. [...]
FFRF asked the council to remove the sign because it violates the constitutional separation between state and church.
Hawkins mayor Will Rogers said the city doesn't have the money to battle FFRF in court, but he thinks it is a fight the city would win.
"That's not a church, we're not welcoming you to a particular church, that sign says 'Jesus welcomes you,'" explained Rogers. "[Jesus is] the most googled and most popular man in the world."
Meanwhile...
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is preparing to welcome the state's gold supply home.
Governor Greg Abbott is building a depository for gold and said he wants to repatriate $1 billion worth of it from the Federal Reserve of New York, reports Bloomberg's Lauren Etter. [...]
But the gold that lawmakers want to repatriate is actually about $350 million short of $1 billion, and it also doesn't belong to the state but to the University of Texas Investment Management Co., according to the report.
Still, that didn't stop Rep. Giovanni Capriglione, who reportedly said:
"We want to show off our strength and resilience... This is to be able to say 'Hey, listen, Texas is unique, it's stable, it's strong and we can show that by letting other states and individuals know that, yes, Texas has a billion dollars worth of gold. Does your state have a billion dollars worth of gold?'" [...]
Most lawmakers were on board for the new law, but one Democrat Senator who voted against the repatriation law told Bloomberg he did so "cause it's weird."
And, in other news from the loon star state...
Not everyone is receptive to Gov. Abbott's plan to monitor the federal government's upcoming military exercise.
At least two clever Texans sent Gov. Greg Abbott (R) pieces of [tin] foil "for your hat" after he ordered the Texas State Guard to "monitor" the U.S. military's training exercise known as Jade Helm 15, Gawker reported on Tuesday.
The foil was a reference to conspiracy theorists who are sometimes characterized as wearing foil hats to prevent their thoughts from being read. The message was unearthed by Gawker reporter Sam Biddle as part of a public records request.
One of the foil packages reportedly contained the message: "For your hat! Thanks for making our state look like idiots!"
Additionally, a roll and a sheet of foil without any messages attached prompted an internal email within the governor’s office, according to Gawker.
"We will log in as opposing the State Guard monitoring the Jade Helm exercises," Deputy Director of the Constituent Communication Division Dede Keith wrote of the foil. "I googled around to see if I could find someone calling on folks to sent it and came up empty thus far. If we get more, I'll let you know."
Bottoms up!
- Trix