"My Vote Doesn't Matter"

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Monday May 12, 2025 · 6:05 AM PDT

2025/05/12 · 06:05

Voters -- and one dog -- in a Cambridge polling place on Nov. 4, 2014 (Jesse Costa/WBUR) — Who's a good boy?

GF and I are what you might call radical voters. We are known to our poll workers as the crazy people who vote in every election, down to obscure charter measures and juvie judge races.

Proudly so, I'll note. Voting is the absolute minimum entry cost to live in a democratic society. It is, if nothing else, the semi-annual renewal required for one's civic bitching license.

This month's election, an up-or-down on renewal of a millage to fund the parish jail facilities, was one of the harder elections to care about. Single issue that should be a no-brainer. With a lot of personal/medical commitments that week, and the traffic nightmare that is Jazz Fest, the thought of skipping voting was sorely tempting.

Then some idjit or idjit group started putting up signs against the millage, saying "No New Taxes," which ignorance just pissed me off. Renewing a millage doesn't impose "new taxes" and if those "concerned citizens" want to keep tossing the "bad hombres" in jail, we probably should have one, I'm thinking.

So we zipped up to one of the early voting locations and banked our two, measly votes before election day. Pointless but proud.

With rain, Jazz Fest, a single-issue ballot and other excuses, turnout was predictably pathetic, totaling 25K votes in the city. And with the influence of those idjit signs, combined with decades of negative connotation, the ignorant, anti-renewal vote was shockingly high, 12,713 votes against.

The "for" vote was 12,715.

There was, of course, a recount, which found four additional votes, two for and two against. The millage renewal passed by two votes.

Like you, I've heard lots of stories about someone thinking their vote doesn't count and then watching an election turn on a single vote and, like you, figured most of them were well-intended bullshit.

Now, however, having watched my vote turn a small but vital decision in my town, I am more adamant than ever in urging everyone to ID up, register and vote.

When they say your vote matters, they're really not kidding!

Oh, FFS, Let Him Be Pope Already

Crashing Vor

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Sunday May 04, 2025 · 4:12 PM PDT

2025/05/04 · 16:12

No, I’m not kidding. It’s best for everyone.

He can live and “work” in a pile like he’s always dreamed, marble and gold out the wazoo, makes that Mag-a-Lardo look like a Motel 6, ya heard me? Let’s see that Helmsley top this, huh?

Think of how much easier the press will have it, too, not having to carefully edit his pronouncements into something resembling English. As Holy Father, he’ll be able to mutter indecipherable nonsense and everyone will just assume it’s Latin.

And, hey, the guy digs golf carts? How ‘bout a double decker, with a raised platform just so he can be higher than anyone else on the links? He can rename it the Trumpmobile. He’ll like that.

And if a bunch of straight, white guys pretending to dignity while trying to figure out their spot in the pecking order’s your thing, forget the White House. The Vatican’s been shuffling Houses of Cards for a lot longer than our quaint, little republic’s been around, pard.

Yeah, the more I think about it, St. Peter’s throne may be just the bone to throw our old dog. All the pomp, no expectations. Plus, we’ll all pretend he’s infallible. He’s been wanting to hear that for a long time.

Best of all, as Dzhugashvili reminds us, how many divisions, or nukes, has the pope? Win-win.

Bless me, Father, for I have blogged.

In a Different Timeline, I'm in the White House, Ripped to the Gills on Vitamin K

Crashing Vor

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Friday May 02, 2025 · 1:32 PM PDT

2025/05/02 · 13:32

I noticed something the other day which offered an insight into our present predicament.

Unfortunately, relating that observation will require a somewhat detailed and rather embarrassing confessional. You were warned.

When I was 14 years old, I spent the better part of a year tripping my balls off. To be clear, I was not high on psychedelic drugs every day, but a great many of them, enough that, technically high or not, I lived in an altered state.

And what a state it was! They call the state of New Mexico the Land of Enchantment, well, this was the Land of Significance. The drugs I was taking and the accompanying syllabus (Huxley, Casteneda, Ram Das, Kesey) had sanded away enough conventional thinking that everything, especially words or short phrases, sometimes even a single letter, took on an oversized meaning, a road sign or menu item suggesting tantalizing mysteries invisible to the uninitiated.

I could hold forth, at length, on nearly any subject you could name, and my quick tongue and burning-eyed sincerity gave my pronouncements an eerie credibility. One Sunday, I led a discussion at the local Methodist church on the difference between form and intent in prayer. I was not a Methodist nor a Christian and had never set foot in the place before. Fucking high as elephant's balls what I'm saying.

(Aside: I can also attest, from personal experience from an earlier and unrelated part of my upbringing, that elephant balls are indeed high, relative to me.)

I was brilliant. I was charismatic. I could, and actually did, convince people to accept incredibly outlandish proposals, sometimes to their own great peril.

I was shocked to see that 14-year-old kid this week. On TV. In the White House.

He was animated. He was brilliant and charismatic. He couldn't sit still, swapping hats, hey, why not two hats? His quick tongue and burning-eyed sincerity gave his pronouncements an eerie credibility, and his obsession with certain phrases, words, even letters, hinted at occult knowledge.

And it hit me. The U.S. government has just been gutted, its code and populating data pilfered, by me at age 14.

Sleep tight.

Stop the Stale!

Crashing Vor

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Sunday November 03, 2024 · 4:31 PM PST

2024/11/03 · 16:31

Yesterday on Washington Week, the panel was discussing the likelihood that Republican nominee Lump would declare “victory” and demand vote-counting stop much earlier than last cycle.

“Ten o’clock? Five? Maybe he’ll do it tonight,” joked host Jeffrey Goldberg.

No one on the panel thought Lump wouldn’t try the same thing again. It’s obvious to everyone.

And that, is the best prophylactic against Insurrection 2.0, imo: shit’s old.

Every Donald Lump cliche, every “fake,” every “rigged,” every “nasty” and “like no one’s ever seen,” is so familiar and tiresome that the vast, unsilent majority is sick of it all. Every line, every joke, every bawdy single entendre (he can’t count higher) has been on heavy rotation like Steely Dan on a yacht rock station. Americans would quite literally rather watch MeTV than another post-election Bannon and Stone Productions telenovia

And that, rather than the all of the completely valid legal, moral, Constitutional, and practical arguments that will tempt we majoritarians when he and his start their Stop the Steal squeal, is what will shut that noise right down right quick.

“Dang, that shit’s boring.”

Stop the Stale.

Lump's Ground Game Even More Lame

Crashing Vor

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Tuesday October 22, 2024 · 8:40 AM PDT

2024/10/22 · 08:40

Last week, the big news about the Lump Campaign/Elon PAC GOTV effort was that the app that canvassers use, Campaign Sidekick, crashes without fast internet. Like out in the boondocks where the campaign is targeting ‘lo-propensity’ voters. This is bad because canvassers couldn’t confirm door knocks in real time.

Now it seems even that wouldn’t help in some cases, as canvassers are GPS spoofing the app and Musk’s America PAC to get paid for contacts never made. From the Guardian:

A bootleg how-to-spoof video, made by an America Pac canvasser in Nevada and obtained by the Guardian, shows the apparent ease with which locations can be changed to fake door-knocks.

It calls into question how many Trump voters have actually been reached by the field operation, which uses paid canvassers, not traditional volunteers or campaign staff.

The video, shared with a few hundred canvassers, walks through the setup: a user downloads a GPS-spoofing app to falsely place themself at the door of a Trump voter, fakes responses to the survey and takes steps to cover up the fraud by varying the survey responses to make it believable.

So the ground game, outsourced to Trump’s new pet tech bro, is being location spoofed, so that not even the laughably small sub-subgroup the campaign says it’s targeting is even getting door hangers. It’s like Lump’s 2-week healthcare plan delivered in a Robotaxi.

Russian Propaganda Shop Apparently Behind Fake Walz Student Claims

Crashing Vor

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Monday October 21, 2024 · 2:44 PM PDT

2024/10/21 · 14:44

The campaign’s final messaging is becoming clear, and it has little to do with Arnold Palmer’s club. Nope, the name of the game from here on out is fuckery.

Some theme music. I say F. I say FU. FUC. FUCK. RATTFUCK RATFUCK.

YouTube Video

The Washington Post has posted a report of a fellow in Hawaii who heard an interesting story told by “himself.”

Matthew Metro didn’t recognize the face that popped up on his cellphone screen when he clicked a link that a friend texted him last week. But after hitting play on the online video, he was dismayed by what he saw.

“My name is Matthew Metro,” said the man in the video, who went on to describe life as a student decades ago at a high school in Minnesota where Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz was a teacher. Some of the details — including about being at the school when Walz worked there — matched the biography of the real Metro. But the man in the video went further, leveling fabricated allegations against Walz, whom the real Metro said he never met.

With Republicans’ known propensity for projection and the sordid history of one of their most noted members, it’s not surprising that the fake allegations made by the fake Matthew Metro were in regard to supposed abuse by Coach Tim Walz.

What really incensed Metro was that the fake him used some of his actual biographical data.

Now, WIRED is reporting that similar smears against Walz are the product of Russia-aligned propaganda outfit Storm-1516.

Experts believe that the campaign is tied to a network called Storm-1516, which has been linked to, among other things, a previous effort that falsely claimed vice president Kamala Harris perpetrated a hit-and-run in San Francisco in 2011. Storm-1516 has a long history of posting fake whistleblower videos, and often deepfake videos, to push Kremlin talking points to the West.

…

Numerous figures in MAGA world boosted the Tim Walz assault claims, including Jack Posobiec, the Pizzagate promoter who is now a member of Trump’s campaign team, and Candace Owens, the popular right-wing podcaster. The claims went viral on X last week, when an anonymous account called Black Insurrectionist posted screenshots of emails from a purported victim. Other X users quickly debunked the claims, citing formatting errors in the images that suggested the emails were fake, but days later another conspiracist posted a video on X claiming he had spoken to one of Walz's supposed victims on the phone—without providing any proof. The video racked up millions of hits.

Then, on Wednesday, a video claiming to show a former student of Walz describing abuse by the former football coach spread widely on X. According to a WIRED analysis using several deepfake detector tools, the video was created using AI. The video, shared by a prominent anonymous QAnon-promoting account, garnered over 4.3 million views before it was deleted.

Darren Linvill of Clemson University’s Media Forensics Hub matches the elements of the smear—fake X accounts dropping rumors, follow up “evidence” generated by AI— with other known campaigns by Storm-1516.

It is well that Linvill’s group was able to identify the source of this BS quickly, but the episode is an example of how far Republicans and their Russian allies are willing to go in this home stretch. We’re a long way from the days of Prigozhin’s quaint little Factory on Savushkina Street.

YouTube Video

Didn't See that Coming: Lump to Start Media Shutdown Tour with... FOX News???

Crashing Vor

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Friday October 18, 2024 · 9:21 AM PDT

2024/10/18 · 09:21

So the Lump went on Fox and Friends this morning to 1) confess that people at FOX had written his Al Smith speech and 2) to announce he was going to march over to Rupert Murdoch and demand that the network stop airing any criticism of His Precious Self. Even if it means losing revenue.

“I’m going to see Rupert Murdoch,” Trump said. “I don’t know if he’s thrilled that I say it. And I’m going to tell him, I’m going to tell him something very simple, because I can’t talk to anybody else about it; don’t put on negative commercials for 21 days, don’t put them — and don’t put on the air their horrible people, they come and lie.”

“I’m going to say, ‘Rupert, please do it this way,” Trump said, predicting he will get his way. “We’re going to have a victory because I think everyone wants that.”

...

“I think you shouldn’t play negative ads,” Trump told the hosts. “It’s very tough. You do a show — and I complain all the time about it, I love complaining, I love complaining, I like to have everything perfect — but when I leave here, I’ll have 200 people,” Trump said, trailing off.

The network had no comment on Mr. Lump’s statement. Neither has Mr. Murdoch weighed in on the demand that he forego advertising revenue to assuage the feelings of Mr. Lump. Should Mr. Murdoch actually respond substantively to Lump, I imagine it might go something like this:

YouTube Video

Makes you really want Harris’ media team to buy some FOX time just to watch him scream.

Lump's Ground Game Running Blind Because 'Pubs Hate Rural Broadband

Crashing Vor

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Monday October 14, 2024 · 5:40 AM PDT

2024/10/14 · 05:40

A schadenfreudelicious story up in the Guardian offers karmic lessons in being chinchy. Chinchy like the Senate Republicans who voted against the infrastructure bill in 2021 (and refused to keep funding it this year). Chinchy like Republicans have been about providing high-speed internet to rural areas since the Obama years. Chinchy like the Lump campaign, which has hoovered up all the rubes’ donations for lawyers and blow and has to turn to Charlie Kirk’s Christian Soldiers and the World’s Richest Adolescent.

All of which lead, inevitably, to stories like:

Trump ground game undercut by slow internet that crashes app

Trump campaign wants to hit rural voters but slow internet limits the functionality of the Campaign Sidekick app

Donald Trump’s campaign has limited ability to know whether their ground game operation is reaching target voters in battleground states, as the software being used needs fast internet service to properly track canvassers, according to multiple people familiar with the situation.

...

But the Trump campaign and the Elon Musk-backed America Pac, which is now doing an outsized portion of the Trump ground game, use a management app called Campaign Sidekick that struggles in areas with slow internet and means canvassers have to use an offline version.

Without real-time connectivity and geo-location, the app can’t track canvassers, This leaves the system open for cheating, “for instance, by ‘speed-running’ routes where they literally throw campaign materials at doors as they drive past,” It also can’t confirm honest canvassers’ contacts, stiffing canvassers who get paid by the door, not a way to encourage repeat signups.

America Pac has tried to deter cheating by sending out teams of auditors to trail canvassers, but there is no way to directly audit every offline walkbook – which is particularly high because of the Trump campaign’s focus on hitting low propensity voters.

...

“Maybe Elon Musk can give his canvassers a Starlink,” one political operative involved in the America Pac operation joked, referring to Musk’s satellite-based mobile internet router.

Or at least a ride in a Robotaxi.

It's Just a Feeling

Crashing Vor

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Thursday October 10, 2024 · 5:39 AM PDT

2024/10/10 · 05:39

Since 2016, I’ve not made any electoral predictions, and doubt I ever shall again. At least I hope not.

Still, I’ve gotten a feeling recently. Not much more than a hunch sandwich, with some anecdotal reports for mayo.

Dominic : So do you know what's gonna happen?

Finch : No, it was a feeling. But I can guess.

I’ve come to think the Democrats have a chance to win and win large this cycle, for a single, overriding reason: Americans have become tired of being lied to.

“Biden didn’t call the governor” an hour after the governor’s press conference thanking Biden for calling. Marco Rubio declaring Dept. of Labor stats “fake” on announcement. They’re eating the pets. Whatever.

Republicans have been one too many times to the firehose. People are bone tired of hearing constant yammering lies every waking hour of the day. You can almost feel the public yearning for someone who seems reasonably sane to run the government so they can get back to their lives.

I’m hoping the blatantly wacky hurricane disinfo is the tipping point. Playing along with the toddler's fantasies can be fun, but when people start getting hurt, grownups quit playing. Okay, Margie, time to power down the imaginary space laser and get ready for bed.

I dunno. Nor, by god, do I predict. Like I said, it’s a feeling.

Muskmelon will Pay $47 for Every Swing State Voter You Refer

Crashing Vor

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Tuesday October 08, 2024 · 5:15 AM PDT

2024/10/08 · 05:15

Elon Musk jumps on the stage as Republican presidential nominee former President Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally at the Butler Farm Show, Saturday, Oct. 5, 2024, in Butler, Pa. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci) — Homage to Richard Simmons?

Here’s a hoot. Undocumented Immigrant Elon Musk’s PAC is offering bounties for swing state voter information.

“For every person you refer who is a swing state voter, you get $47!” Musk wrote in a post on X, the social media site he owns. “Easy money.” If Trump is elected, he would be the 47th president of the U.S.

The petition declares that its signers support “First and Second Amendment rights,” but it contains no details about who the petition will be delivered to, or when, or any demands that the signers have, all core elements of traditional petitions.

Instead, the petition seeks the personal contact information of swing-state voters. Upon signing, all users, regardless of their state, are directed to a page that contains voter registration links for just seven states: Pennsylvania, Georgia, North Carolina, Nevada, Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin.

This is little more than an effort to hoover up personal info on tons of people. Whether or how U.I. Elon will pay his bounties is unclear. If his political action committee is run like his social media company, there’s probably some poor sod who’s about to get a huge list of contacts and be told to follow up with no instructions or resources.

Furthermore, as U.I. Elon’s social media platform is a veritable zoo of trolls, moles, spies, mis-and-disinformers, and miscreants in general, he really should know just how vulnerable an operation like this would be to spoofing, goofing, and other merry manipulation from people who don’t like him or the other weird narcissist.

Not that I would ever advise anyone do such things, of course.

Lieutenant

Crashing Vor

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Wednesday October 02, 2024 · 11:57 AM PDT

2024/10/02 · 11:57

No turtles were harmed in the making of this poem

With apologies to Bashō

Bullied boy grows up
Beard can hide the chubby chin
The rage, not so much

Get this Grandstanding Doodah Out of the Zone, Please

Crashing Vor

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Tuesday October 01, 2024 · 3:22 AM PDT

2024/10/01 · 03:22

I will try to keep this brief and civil. After days of chasing down reports of friends from Tampa to Weaverville, we turned on the news last night to see the former president yammering to a crowd of first responders in Valdosta and my blood pressure went skyward.

Again, as calmly as I can… Those ladies and gentlemen are not there to escort candidate motorcades. They are not on scene to guard sycophants as they build quaint daises out of the bricks of collapsed buildings and check camera angles. They actually have desperately-needed services to provide the people who live there. Every lie they are required to applaud is another house unchecked for survivors.

I suppose I can understand Franklin Graham’s being there, as he actually brought some useful supplies, though making sure his ministry’s brand was front and center indicates a somewhat imperfect understanding of Matthew 6:2.

But the last thing needed in any zone is talent. They not only provide zero useful assistance to survivors, they take actual service providers out of play. Because they’re too stupid to not hurt themselves and need minders. Even more if they brought their own minders, as they need minders.

Every real president knows this. Junior caught shit for staying in Crawford then looking down on us from his plane, but he was actually doing the right thing. Unless you know how to work a chain saw and a winch, stay the fuck out of the zone.

Every real president knows this. The idiot orange Playskool Prez neither knows nor cares and has again demonstrated just how unfit he is for any public trust.

Rant off.

Addendum: I guarantee you’ll be hearing this BS soon:

Near as I can tell, Himself’s “donations” consist of authorizing a GoFundMe in His Precious Name to which other people have given money. He has not contributed so much as a Bible or a golden shoe.

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