No, the prophets are experiencing the vapors of Prophecy.
There is no reason for any of us to fear.
The prophets have already spoken and the fate of the world at the end of 2016 has been laid bare for us all.
These truths are self-evident and shall not be altered by the actions of one or many.
We shall now sit and inhale some prophetic gas, and utter our truths.
Know ye that:
Hillary will be the Democratic Party Nominee.
This is inevitable. We have told you this for many years, and only the timing of said nomination was in error. This is due to no error in the prophecy, but rather in the mythical election cycle. The Past 8 years, of course, have not existed at all, save for the actions of our nominee, which of course also do not exist. Since they were unobservable years, all possible actions were taken and both pro-war and anti-war, as well as pro-industry and anti-war positions exist at the same time. This is known as Schrodinger’s Position. As a result, we have the perfect candidate, and any other candidates to the contrary are merely the imagination of the internet.
The US will Go to War in the Middle East.
This is inevitable. All candidates, even imaginary ones, agree that war is the only solution to the problems that plague the middle east. Since the past 8 years did not exist, this is clearly Bush’s mess to clean up, and as a result all blame can be laid squarely at his feet. Of course we cannot charge him, because we must look into the future, and that future is a war which will be over quickly and easily. No wait, this time, the prophets are saying that the war will be long and arduous, but we will prevail in the end because it is our responsibility.
Trump will continue to be a joke.
Do not worry about the toupee’d one. While his followers will beat others, it matters not. The media will continue to treat him as the joke he is. Even if he gets the nomination, which of course will not happen, because he is a joke, his followers will fall into line easily. Despite their promises to turn out the brown and black among us, clearly it is only fanciful rhetoric, and there is no need to be concerned when others of the GOP adopt the positions. For it is not the rise of the beast of Fascism, which was slain long ago, and can never, ever, possibly, ever happen here. Because that would be a silly joke.
And finally, rejoice in the truth that has already been revealed:
No Matter What Happens, It will be the fault of the dirty Hippies.
This is always the truth, for it always occurs. When The Republicans win, it is because the Damn Dirty Hippies didn’t do their part to GOTV. When a Democratic politician betrays their principles, it is the fault of the Damn Dirty Hippies, because they didn’t push hard enough to make their case. When We don’t win a war, it is the fault of the Damn Dirty Hippies, who gave aid and comfort to the enemy. When Single payer fails, it is the fault of the Damn Dirty Hippies for wanting a Unicorn.
So rejoice in the coming future, and know that these inevitable truths will occur despite your actions. As we know, there is really no such thing as free will, and attempting to deny prophecy only ensures that the prophecies will come true in the end.
