My experience at Kos.

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Wednesday March 30, 2005 · 1:56 PM PST

2005/03/30 · 13:56

This isn't a typical goodbye rant, as I've already asked the Kos tech people to erase my account in its entirety - thereby assuring that I won't ever be back, and that I really don't want to be here. And I do NOT encourage you to respond. I don't want to stay, and you don't want me here. Just read what I have to say, and leave it alone. Besides which, your comments will, with any small luck, be deleted very soon.

This is merely what I've experienced over the two weeks that I've been a member of the Kos message board. I thought maybe by sharing, something positive could be gained for new members. Read More

Terri Schiavo: Ultimate Fighter.

jeremymc

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Wednesday March 30, 2005 · 9:06 AM PST

2005/03/30 · 09:06

A Fake News Broadcast

In an last-ditch effort to save the life of Terri Schiavo, living Republican slime-wave Tom Delay has brought Ultimate Fighting coach Randy Couture to Schiavo's bedside.

"My hope is this," said the abominable, roach-fucking Delay "that through a dedicated regime of boxing, weight training and a form of brazilian Jiu-jutsu developed in the evil heart of the Amazonian rainforest by vengeful nature spirits, we can enable Mrs. Schiavo to defend herself from her murderous husband, from the medical terrorists trying to assasinate her, and from the constant stream of homosexuals trying to turn her gay."

Spotting a female nurse changing Mrs. Schiavo's bedpan, the odious troll then screamed "I SEE YOU, YOU PUSSY-HUNGRY SODOMITE!". Read More

Asimov, Heinlein, Bova: "Not credible intelligence"

jeremymc

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Tuesday March 29, 2005 · 9:05 AM PST

2005/03/29 · 09:05

In a stunning statement this morning, the 9-person presidential panel investigating intelligence failures claimed that "Intelligence operatives providing evidence for Iraqi hyper-weaponization are in actuality what the American people call 'Science Fiction authors'".

The panel goes on: "For example, claims that the Iraqi people are in posession of a mathematical process that would allow them to predict the actions of societies are in actuality the main plot device behind Aasimov's "Foundation" series, and not, in fact, a reason to invade and slaughter thousands of the dirty raghead bastards".

They conclude: "Oops. We probably shouldn't have written that last part into the statement." Read More

Golden age of MSM

jeremymc

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Thursday March 24, 2005 · 9:28 AM PST

2005/03/24 · 09:28

Things apparently weren't always so bad, as this article in the N.Y. Times Review of Books looks at the initial publication of the "Pentagon Papers".

It's an excellent article for all those on the verge of losing hope with the status of media and Governmental cooperation in your country, as it details the fact that things before the Nixon era were far more biased against the free dissemination of information than they are now.

(More after the JUMP. Plus a great cartoon. And a poll. Who are you to resist? Are you some sort of Frenchman? Do you hate freedom?) Read More

FICTION - "HitlerFreedomJesusTerror"

jeremymc

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Wednesday March 23, 2005 · 7:53 AM PST

2005/03/23 · 07:53

Republicans collapse talking points into single, talking Ur-Point. Today Republican master-strategist Frank Luntz revealed a new tool in the Republican strategy book. One that in his words would: "Blow the living shit out of the pussy-whipped voters of moron America. See? It's so good, I'm confident that I can insult American voters at will."

President Bush unveiled the new Talking Point at a press conference later on in the morning. He began: "My fellow poor, retarded Americans. I have but one thing to say to you: HitlerFreedomJesusTerror." Read More

A Fake Letter from the Vatican....

jeremymc

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Tuesday March 22, 2005 · 9:38 AM PST

2005/03/22 · 09:38

A Fake Recorded Broadcast from St. Peter's square:

To all our children joined in dignity under God,

As a servant of God, I regret to inform you that Pope John Paul II has only recently slipped into a coma that the doctors say is utterly irreversible. His brain activity has ceased and his body is beginning to atrophy as we speak. Therefore, I now have the intensely erotic but entirely non-sexual (thank you Jesus) pleasure of presenting to the world the result of 15 years of secret Vatican scientific research.

My holy children. Nothing can be more dignified than the preservation of life in its final stages. We recently released the statement that no man has the right to unplug a human being like an appliance; therefore it logically falls upon the Vatican alone to assume the right to develop that selfsame appliance. We call it "The Appliance". Watch in holy terror of God's will as our recently-afflicted Pope is inserted into The Appliance. Read More

And then it struck me....

jeremymc

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Tuesday March 22, 2005 · 6:40 AM PST

2005/03/22 · 06:40

Long overlooked as the shocking Terry Schiavo case played out over the nation's airwaves, the American Academy of Fake Neurosurgery has weighed in with its verdict on Schiavo's condition. Dr. Barnard Rutabaga, head of the Fake Academy, held a startling press conference today.

"It is our educated and fake opinion that the living meat once known as Terry Schiavo can be rehabilitated and reeducated to rejoin society as a productive member." Read More

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