On a hot evening in July 1988, I called home to report on the miseries of Day One of the Bar Exam. My Mom answered the phone. She listened, patiently, to my griping, and then said: "Chris has proposed to Dana."
I did not need to ask "Chris or Dana who?" because my little life in law school in Charlottesville was so otherwise untouched by celebrity of any kind. The Chris was Christopher Reeve and the Dana was Dana Morosini, who was the daughter of my wonderful doctor, who, along with his lovely wife, were great friends of great friends of my parents.
[there's more]
I had met Dana on an occasion or two – weddings and so forth – but I knew much more about her than certainly she knew about me. I knew, from brief acquaintance, that she was beautiful and charming. I knew that she was passionate about a career in singing and acting, that she had met Chris while performing in Williamstown, Massachusetts at summer theatre and that they were very much in love. Nevertheless, Mom had said, Dana had said no.
This was not exactly the sort of news that made me want to spring back to the hundreds of flash cards I had created for the second day of the Bar Exam. But I trudged back to my grimy motel room in Roanoke, hauled out the cards and began. I also took out my skirt for the next day to pin it. Virginia then required female bar examinees to wear skirts or dresses, and I had been ill that summer and had lost so much weight that my only appropriate skirt was three sizes too big. I considered my circumstances, and thought: "Dana is the luckiest woman I know."
On a coolish evening in May 1995, I was in Maine for my sister-in-law’s wedding. I had been out all afternoon riding bikes with my boyfriend. We had attempted, unsuccessfully, to breach the security at President Bush’s Kennebunkport home . . . just to say hello, we told the Secret Service. They were not amused. When we got back to the Inn that was the site of the festivities, my Mom said that Chris had been involved in a terrible horseback riding accident and might not live. We wrote notes and posted them, and I thought: "Poor Dana." And I prayed for her.
Over the course of the next eight or nine years, I watched Dana and Chris with such admiration. I read Chris’s moving autobiography, Still Me, and I wondered how he could continue to endure with such courage and optimism and hope. The daily rhythms of his day, as Chris so eloquently described, were daily tribulations. The simple acts of getting up and getting prepared for the day could take hours, and the assistance of many skilled assistants. He was always so grateful to have the money to pay for the help he needed, and so dedicated to raising millions of dollars so that others in his situation could have that help -- and his hope -- too. And I had such admiration for Dana, who never once groused about the fact that her life had been turned completely upside down in a few seconds on a steeplechase course in Virginia.
Because members of my family suffer from a progressive neurological disease that renders them paralyzed, I am unfortunately too familiar with the heartaches of paralysis. I was so grateful to Chris for his message and beyond grateful to him and to Dana for raising awareness about the hope offered by stem cell research. My entire family is passionate about stem cell research, not just because of the familial paralysis disease but, more recently, because of my niece, Kate, who was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at age 16 months and has lived, so courageously, with this horrid disease for 15 years. We know that stem cell research offers the best hope for a cure. President Bush’s refusal to advance this research led many former Republican members of my family to switch their political affiliation and vote for Democrats. On the day in 2001 when President Bush announced that there would be no funding for new cell lines, I sent him an e-mail in which I asked him how I should explain this to my niece: "She’s 10 years old and she's been stuck with a needle 10,000 times already, Mr. President," I wrote, "Just how many more times will be enough for you?" I did not receive a reply.
On a lovely October morning in 2004, I received a telephone call from my best friend, who is smart and funny and a frequent guest on political talk shows. She was scheduled that morning to discuss stem cell research, she said, and asked if I could provide some talking points. I went on and on before asking her: why this morning? She told me that Chris had died. She had thought I knew, and was very upset to find out that she had had to be the one to tell me.
I watched Dana’s enormous grace once again. And, selfishly, as the granddaughter of a much loved grandfather whose stong heart did not give out and who spent the last days of his life choking on his own saliva with his eyelids taped shut because he could no longer blink, I was grateful that Chris was at peace and that Dana might have some time with her son and her own life and a bit of peace for herself. I was amazed that, just days after Chris’s funeral, Dana joined John Kerry to endorse his Presidential race and speak passionately about the importance of stem cell research. What an enormously courageous and lovely thing to do.
Less than a year later, on a hot afternoon in August 2005, I saw on television in my office that Dana was announcing that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. I was devastated. How on earth could anything be more unfair?
Seven months later, on March 6 of this year, Dana died. During her fight with cancer, she had continued her work for Chris’s foundation, she had continued her work as a mother to their son, Will, she had continued her work as a singer and an advocate for stem cell research. She was just 44.
Dana and I attended the same college (many years apart), and in 2004, it wisely awarded both Dana and Chris honorary doctorates and asked them to speak at graduation.
This is, in part, what Dana said:
Take care of yourself and be caring with others. Nurture a sense of gratitude, and be grateful for a sense of humor. Be sure to thank your parents and mentors for all they've given you, but give love to your future children and mentees freely without any expectation of thanks in return. Look for ways to let your light shine, but don't be afraid occasionally to be in the dark. Strive to make your behavior above reproach, but be careful not to cast judgment on others whose behavior may reflect a different form of reality. The more you give, the richer you will become. Let your life be enhanced by the company you keep.
Wise words from a very courageous woman. Many dear souls were taken from us during 2006, but I am especially grateful for the life and courage of Dana Reeve. On Christmas Eve, I wrote a tiny diary about the hidden shepherds among us. Dana was one of those shepherds. Thank you, Dana.
And now on to Top Comments:
My picks:
occam’s hatchet on the "perfect codicil" to every "cautionary tale" about George W. Bush, inspired by this comment by Matt Z.
dricey on faith-based statements by Air Force Generals.
this thread between bumblebums and Yellow Canary, on the denizens of freeperdom who are celebrating the execution of Saddam Hussein.
roguetrader2000 offers this sad comment in CTLiberal’s very sad diary.
Dallasdoc had this touching comment in One Pissed Off Liberal’s magnificent tribute to working people. Elise picked this one, too.
From gloriana:
PaintyKat has this to say regarding generational differences and the
feminist movement
From nonnie9999:
In answer to Devilstower’s question, what are Rethuglicans good for, the following responses:
besieged by bush
deaniac
shpilk
wyvern
Major Danby and
ripzaw.
Bent Liberal had this to say about the execution of Saddam.
Emsprater offered this comment in last night’s ghostly top comments.
From vadare:
The most awesome thread I've ever spawned to clammyc re: Hussein’s execution. Requisite troll spotted and called on it . . . .
From Elise:
Matt Z talks about how conservatives show their "love" for America.
Dallasdoc fondly remembers his parents
and the American Dream. DMiller also talks about his family
and the disappearing American Dream.
Turkana notes that we need to pay attention to wire service writers and his point is good, but sagesource has a hilarious suggestion a few comments down.
moeman and sagesource talk about W as a uniter .
And thanks to gloriana for tonight's Top Mojo:
Without obvious tipjars:
1 I haven't been this excited since ... by highfive - 95
2 Title? by MissLaura - 60
3 Well, then by areucrazy - 54
4 My best friend's brother by Sinister Rae - 50
5 No FP tonight except too much work, but by blue jersey mom - 46
6 Expensive meds by Coldblue Steele - 43
7 Happy New Year, Gardeners by blue jersey mom - 41
8 You know how the Decider thinks of the by calipygian - 41
9 My beloved Oofy by srkp23 - 41
10 Good Morning Garden Bloggers by Eddie C - 39
11 Communists are our friends now, by Friend of the court - 39
12 My back hurts from by Frankenoid - 39
13 No FPs this week by sobermom - 39
14 We could use some of that snow! by Finn - 38
15 Someone in my family by paddykraska - 38
16 asdf by areucrazy - 37
17 The Texas tornadoes... by drchelo - 37
18 And once again... by Finn - 36
19 I'll play! by silvercedes - 36
20 I call bullshit! by Inventor - 36
21 We're waiting for the word about my by edwardssl - 36
22 Hoist a glass to... by va dare - 36
23 You bet, OPOL. Our story is different, but just by blue jersey mom - 35
24 My husband goes for vascular surgery on Jan. 2 by LIsoundview - 35
25 I think there's a ghost in my house. by xanthe - 35
26 It's December 30th! by kishik - 34
27 heh by clammyc - 33
28 I knew I had an FP... by Floja Roja - 33
29 That's Marmelade. She's son2's cat, and by blue jersey mom - 32
30 Congratulations. by Pager - 32
With everything:
1 Tips for the salt of the earth? by One Pissed Off Liberal - 168
2 tipjar by ca democrat - 121
3 Tip Jar - December 30 by Jerome a Paris - 103
4 grains of salt by chuckles1 - 96
5 I haven't been this excited since ... by highfive - 95
6 Consider yourself very fortunate . . . by nyceve - 93
7 Tip jar by occams hatchet - 89
8 Tip Jar. by Land of Enchantment - 83
9 Tip for Joy by Elizabeth D - 71
10 The snow has left us by Frankenoid - 60
11 Tip Jar by dmsilev - 60
12 Title? by MissLaura - 60
13 Don't misunderstand me by Maccabee - 60
14 Turn around for the camera, Fluffy! err, Tip Jar! by PhillyGal - 58
15 Tip Jar by LithiumCola - 58
16 Tip Jar by Steven D - 57
17 cool by theyrereal - 56
18 Well, then by areucrazy - 54
19 My best friend's brother by Sinister Rae - 50
20 No FP tonight except too much work, but by blue jersey mom - 46
21 Expensive meds by Coldblue Steele - 43
22 Happy New Year, Gardeners by blue jersey mom - 41
23 My beloved Oofy by srkp23 - 41
24 You know how the Decider thinks of the by calipygian - 41
25 Good Morning Garden Bloggers by Eddie C - 39
26 Communists are our friends now, by Friend of the court - 39
27 No FPs this week by sobermom - 39
28 My back hurts from by Frankenoid - 39
29 A by DarkSyde - 38
30 We could use some of that snow! by Finn - 38
Please remember to send your Top Comments to topcomments at gmail dot com. Send your screen i.d. so we can give you a proper hat tip!