Apologies for the extra long dispatch. Can't focus on anything serious. Too excited for the debate....
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?
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Dood. U there?
wtf... hold on. just wakng up
awesome. thght we’d lost u
wtf? what r u talkng abt? whre am I?
Hard 2 xplain. what do u see?
evrythngs really fuzzy. yor txts are kinda jmbld
jmbld
JUMBLED! dche. type norml. tell me where I am!
teh technician sez u r in wernickes area
WHAT THE FAAAHK? U R MAKING NO SENSE.
ok. just try this. type back to me everythng I say, ok
ok
The debate is 2 nite
the debte is 2 nite
Sarah Palin is a total moron
Sarah Palin is a total babe
We had to take xtreme measures
we had to measure something
We used cuttng edge quantm resrch to miniaturize you and implnt you in Sarah Palin’s brain
The witch Doctor gave me the power to possess Sarah Palin
You are currntly in an area of her brain that cntrls speech recognition
I am a dolphin
Ok. Close enough. you can stop now
ok. close enough. I can stop now
No. stop repetng
No. stop repetng
hold on
OUCH, WTF!
electro shock. sorry
dchbg!
what do u see?
a long tunnel and a door
go in the door.
k. thrs a huge speaker, playng elevatr music
k. ur in teh sensory cortex
fck. u knw, my bbry wrks prtty good here all thngs consdrd
go thru teh nxt door
k. thers a craplode of levers
good. must b the motor cortex
k. wht now?
are the levers labeld?
yes:
point
bob head
smile (tht one is jammed)
wink
walk
shoot
K. try point and bob head
HOLY CRP! ERTHQUAKE
sty clm. turn off head bob
K WTF! I just saw a fUCKNG racoon!
whre did it go?
ran into a side room
U have 2 follow it
no fckng way
U want to be stck there 4ever? todd sez its moose & huntr roleplayng night
ok. thru teh door. bunch of buttons wth labls.
xcellnt. doc sez u ar in Broca’s area. That contrls speech.
I am pants salesman.
ok. read some buttons
K...some real faded ones...
thx but no thx
putin rears head
maverck
lipstick
If Im so privileged
wht else. anythng more recnt?
yeah. jst found some under a big headng "OTHER CASES, YOU IDIOT"
read those
K.
Judge Dredd v sanford & son
Pussy v Gunderson
Matlock v Murder she wrote
House Party Mulligan
Staples, that was simple
Oh chriminy. I hope thse are just mnemonics
I don’t see a harmonica button.
Just press the Judge dredd one
K.
Nope. I dont thnk the crammng worked. Listen 2 me: U R gonna have 2 pilot during teh debate. Try 2 find a full keyboard
Oh 4 fcks sake. hold on
...
...
?
Thnk I found it. It has a large plastic steerng wheel and 4 E’s. the H appears 2 have been partly chewd by smthng.
thats prolly it.
dood. Im so fcking scard. I thot I hrd scratching
Thats lndsy practicng fake karate in teh next rm.
what a fckng ntwt. when I get back to teh lever room Im going 2 make mcveep kick hm in the crtch, k?
K. I believe thats: walk, walk, point and thn tap the wink button really fast.
k. gonna try now
no. just try to use teh kybrd to talk abt "Habeas Corpus"
Shit. the wheel jst fell off. the raccoon is back. thngs a fucking giant.
just stay clm and type
u fcking type. I’m gettn outta here
no. stay thre. what the hell is going on? McVeep is babbling somthng about cinnamon toothpaste
Holy sht. just got out alive. Raccoon stomping all over keys. jst ate the rst of the H. Fck it.
k. look for a corridr on teh right. that shld be the temporal lobe.
what’s that control?
emotional and intellectual functions. Hoping youll find a shotgn
r u crazy? I could find a T-REX!
Dont worry - if theres a t-rex itll be foam
Well, a giant angry jesus then.
Good point. hr Jesus wld definitly smite U
dood. I am NOT fightng with a giant angry judge dredd jesus. Hold on. theres a little closet here
that must be the frontal lobe - judgement and foresight.
cool. theres a rocket launcher and a dirtbike. Going back to deal wth the raccoon. txt u l8tr
k. gdluck.
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?
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