Both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had segments last night ripping apart Rep. Peter King (R-NY) for his witchhunt hearings against American Muslims.
Peter King wants to spearhead an investigation of American Muslims who he feels are too sympathetic to a group that has killed civilians with bombs, whilst having actively supported a group that killed civilians with bombs! What the f.......?
KING: First of all, the IRA never attacked the United States.
Yeah. Fuck England. What was your next point?
KING: Secondly, the IRA, which had a far from perfect record, but it was not their policy to attack civilians...
OK, maybe it wasn't their policy, but it sure seemed to become kind of a hobby. If the IRA was so fundamentally different from Islamic terrorism, why is it Glenn Beck could've connected them to the PLO in less than half a chalkboard as early as 1972?
....
STEWART: But how do they... I mean, he talks about how this guy should be investigated because he didn't denounce Hamas. How do the IRA differ from Hamas?
OLIVER: Oh, they are completely different, Jon. For a start, the IRA was a cause that Peter King agreed with. Also, they like... different foods. They... speak totally different languages, plus Hamas is an Islamic organization, they don't drink. The Irish have a slightly different policy on that.
....
STEWART: Oh, so if America is not attacked, it's not terrorism, according to Peter King?
OLIVER: Oh, no no no. Jon, what he's saying is, if America isn't attacked, who gives a shit? Jon, I remember growing up in Britain during those attacks, and thinking at the time, this can't be terrorism, because it isn't happening in the United States. Jon, Peter King is simply abiding by the age old proverb. If a tree falls in a forest, and doesn't land on an American, then did that tree really fall? Think about it, Jon.
STEWART: But what if the tree did fall on an American?
OLIVER: Then that whole fucking forest is accountable for what that tree did, and must be felled! Felled! Cut it down!
Hey Chris, it's not a witch trial. It's a witch hearing. And you know, I find it very suspicious that everyone's up in arms because they're investigating Muslims. And so does committee member Dan Lungren.
REP. DAN LUNGREN, R-CA (3/10/2011): I've been there where we've examined the Ku Klux Klan, but we didn't go beyond that at that time, and when I was Attorney General, we did investigate skinhead groups and militias, and we were not criticized...
Yeah! No one criticized those hearings, and they could've unfairly smeared all the moderate skinheads and Klansmen.
Videos and transcripts below the fold.
We begin tonight with New York Congressman Peter King (R). You may remember the last time King was worked up about the Park 51 cultural center near Ground Zero, and its leader Imam Rauf.
REP. PETER KING (8/3/2010): The imam himself, who poses as a moderate, yet he was saying after 9/11 that the U.S. may have brought upon the attack itself, he also refused to say whether Hamas is a terrorist organization ... and as a result of that, I believe there should be a full investigation of the funding and of the imam himself.
And so it is ironic, as Peter King launched hearings today in Washington in investigating whether the American Muslim community is doing enough to root out terrorists. Because as it turns out, King has some hands on experience rooting for terrorists.
KELLY O'DONNELL, NBC NIGHTLY NEWS (3/9/2011): Years ago, King was a major advocate for the Irish Republican Army, which the U.S. and British governments had labeled a terrorist organization.
High-tee tigh-tee tigh-tee... huh??? Walk of Shame time, King. Cue the mea culpa, and his resignation of his post as the Chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, go.
O'DONNELL: Those who saw your IRA past look and say you're a hypocrite.
KING: Right. Eh, people who say that are uninformed.
Ohhh!!! That's right, he's a Republican! They don't fold, they double down! Ah, I see your charges of hypocrisy, and I raise you a "go fuck yourself". The left, they fold their hand before they even look at their cards! NPR executive gets secretly videotaped behaving exactly as you would imagine an NPR executive would behave, praising Madeira wine and shitting on the Tea Party? Gone!!! Van Jones gets caught signing a truther petition, gone! Shirley Sherrod gets caught... not doing anything, gone!
Peter King wants to spearhead an investigation of American Muslims who he feels are too sympathetic to a group that has killed civilians with bombs, whilst having actively supported a group that killed civilians with bombs! What the f.......?
KING: First of all, the IRA never attacked the United States.
Yeah. Fuck England. What was your next point?
KING: Secondly, the IRA, which had a far from perfect record, but it was not their policy to attack civilians...
OK, maybe it wasn't their policy, but it sure seemed to become kind of a hobby. If the IRA was so fundamentally different from Islamic terrorism, why is it Glenn Beck could've connected them to the PLO in less than half a chalkboard as early as 1972?
The PLO, well-informed sources say, provided the IRA with large quantities of weapons, and trained men in Libya and Lebanon since February 1972.
Congressman?? Heh???
KING: I don't agree with everything they did, but they were a force that was there.
They were a force that was there??? (in King voice) Hey, uh, you know, they killed civilians, but in my defense, they did occupy space and time.
JON STEWART: We're joined by Senior British Correspondent John Oliver. John, you heard Peter King. He was essentially arguing the IRA, eh, not a terrorist group.
JOHN OLIVER: Yeah, I heard that, and as he said himself, Jon, the IRA weren't perfect. But then, who is? I've got to wear glasses. You've got that weird thing on your back. The IRA killed a couple of thousand people, hundreds of them civilians. We all have our flaws.
STEWART: But how do they... I mean, he talks about how this guy should be investigated because he didn't denounce Hamas. How do the IRA differ from Hamas?
OLIVER: Oh, they are completely different, Jon. For a start, the IRA was a cause that Peter King agreed with. Also, they like... different foods. They... speak totally different languages, plus Hamas is an Islamic organization, they don't drink. The Irish have a slightly different policy on that. And then, of course, there's also this.
STEWART: What does that have to do with the IRA?
OLIVER: Oh, nothing Jon, I just think it's breathtaking.
STEWART: But look, I mean, the IRA is known to have murdered people by planting bombs in bars.
OLIVER: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. They were just trying to bring down military helicopters, Jon. And the only way they could do that was by hitting them with the roofs of English pubs.
STEWART: The bombing at Harrods department store in 1983 killed innocent civilians. How is that a military target?
OLIVER: Ah, OK, the IRA had intelligence that Harrods was developing chemical agents, spraying them on people as soon as they walked in the door. Yes, that turned out to just be a perfume counter, but mistakes are made in the fragrant fog of war. And anyway, what do you care? It's not like it was Macy's.
STEWART: Oh, so if America is not attacked, it's not terrorism, according to Peter King?
OLIVER: Oh, no no no. Jon, what he's saying is, if America isn't attacked, who gives a shit? Jon, I remember growing up in Britain during those attacks, and thinking at the time, this can't be terrorism, because it isn't happening in the United States. Jon, Peter King is simply abiding by the age old proverb. If a tree falls in a forest, and doesn't land on an American, then did that tree really fall? Think about it, Jon.
STEWART: But what if the tree did fall on an American?
OLIVER: Then that whole fucking forest is accountable for what that tree did, and must be felled! Felled! Cut it down!
STEWART: John Oliver, we'll be right back.
And as for Stephen's take on King...
Nation, as you all know by now, Muslims want to place America under Sharia law, Koranic guidelines covering everything from hygiene to diet to interpersonal relationships. It's basically a Middle Eastern version of Cosmo, except less degrading to women. But some states are fighting back, like Tennessee, where lawmakers introduced a bill that would make practicing Sharia law a felony, punishable by a fine and imprisonment of not less than 15 years. Yes! I say we send those radicals to prison, where nobody is ever exposed to Islam.
Well, today, folks, the fight against turban sprawl moved to Congress, where New York Republican Peter King held a vital hearing on The Extent of Radicalization Among American Muslims. It's about damn time. We have got to learn why American Muslims are so alienated. Hopefully these hearings about how dangerous they are will make them feel more welcome.
And if anyone can understand violent radicalism, it's Peter King. After all, he's a fervent supporter of the Irish Republican Army. Now before you judge him, you have to understand, King saw his Northern Irish Catholic brethren persecuted simply because of their faith. Muslim Americans have no idea what that's like. Besides, as King points out, "The fact is, the IRA never attacked the United States. And my loyalty is to the United States."
Exactly. It's only called "terrorism" if you kill American civilians. If they're British civilians, I believe it's called bangers and mash. Plus, King has successfully thwarted Muslim extremism before, in his actual 2004 novel, Vale of Tears,
a globe-spanning thriller in which Congressman Sean Cross thwarts radical Muslim terrorists. It's a tour de force that one Amazon reviewer hailed as "a book about meetings".
The cliffhanger involves a double-booked conference room.
Well, apparently, King's fictional credentials don't satisfy the imam-ma's boys out there.
REP. ANDRE CARSON, D-IN (3/8/2011): If we're going to have hearings on terrorism, let's have hearings on terrorism across the spectrum ... not just Muslims.
TALAT HAMDANI (3/7/2011): ... to demonize one's faith is very wrong.
CHRIS MATTHEWS (3/10/2011): It looks like a witch trial.
Hey Chris, it's not a witch trial. It's a witch hearing. And you know, I find it very suspicious that everyone's up in arms because they're investigating Muslims. And so does committee member Dan Lungren.
REP. DAN LUNGREN, R-CA (3/10/2011): I've been there where we've examined the Ku Klux Klan, but we didn't go beyond that at that time, and when I was Attorney General, we did investigate skinhead groups and militias, and we were not criticized...
Yeah! No one criticized those hearings, and they could've unfairly smeared all the moderate skinheads and Klansmen. So are these hearings unfair to Muslims? Or, are they unfair to Peter King? By just inviting them into the room, he is risking being radicalized by one of their mystical genies.
When we return, I will sit down with Reza Aslan of the Daily Beast, an actual Muslim! Pray for me.
And here's Stephen's
interview with Reza Aslan. Jon spoke with
South Park creators
Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Stephen also looked at the GOP field for 2012, specifically mocking
Newt Gingrich in a deliciously hilarious segment, as well as
Tim Pawlenty.
The Daily Show also sent Sam Bee to
visit the homes of two schoolteachers to show how they actually live, contrary to Fox News's multiple claims that schoolteachers are living in the lap of luxury.
And in a classic
Moment of Zen, since Scott Walker thinks of himself as the second coming of Ronald Reagan, here's video of Reagan himself DEFENDING the right to collectively bargain.
RONALD REAGAN (9/1/1980): Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost.
By all means, throw that quote in the face of anybody you know that supports Walker in this. :-)