As I'm sure you know, "that's gay" and its many variations equating "gay" with "stupid" or "dumb" have been embedded in the language of many of our youth (and even not-so-youth). I grew up hearing it, I went to college and heard it from supposed liberals who otherwise support LGBT people, and now I hear it in my classroom from my students (and don't worry, I address it whenever I hear it). Today, "that's gay" is slightly more unpopular to say, in part due to national awareness being drummed up by groups like GLSEN in ads such as this:
However, it's still used with great frequency. And, in my experience, it's rarely, if ever, called out.
But I'm happy to report that that's not always the case. Follow me below the fold for a "that's gay" feel-good story.
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As I was waiting at the airport a couple weeks ago, I received an interesting text from a very close friend of mine. She has a six-year-old son, who is adorable and considers me his uncle because of how close I am with his mother. Well, on this particular day, he was not so adorable. Apparently he was writing in a book about members of his family. When he wrote about one of his cousins, he called him gay.
My friend was infuriated when she saw what her son had written. She immediately sat him down and told him that not only was it cruel to his cousin, but it was also a very offensive thing to say. She explained to him in terms that he could understand what "gay" was and that his Uncle Chris is gay. Then she asked him if he would feel comfortable calling somebody or something "gay" in front of me. He shook his head and then said, "I like Uncle Chris, so I like gay." Then he promised to never call anything gay again.
This may seem like a rather minor incident, but I think it's huge. What my friend told her child will likely stay with him for a very long time. It's a hell of a lot more than many parents would do if placed in the same situation.
Even though my friend was still very upset about it, I told her she handled it exactly the right way. This kid isn't a bigot. He was just repeating something he heard. Now he knows the human implications behind saying it, and I think he'll remember those implications the next time he wants to call something stupid (hopefully it's not another person!). And he'll remember when he hears his friends call something gay, too. He learned a very important life lesson, and he'll be all the better for it.
"That's gay" might seem like a small issue, until you consider the environment it creates for LGBT kids and the corresponding LGBT teen suicide rate. It really is important, and many parents and authority figures don't seem to realize it.
Bravo to my friend for handling this just how it should have been handled. With a mother like that, this kid is going to turn out just fine. The world would really be a much better place if all parents followed her example and nipped "that's gay" in the bud early.
TOP COMMENTS
January 11, 2012
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From Free Jazz at High Noon:
Roadbed Guy cautions the Fox News pundits to avoid chemistry class- hilarious!
From BlueStateRedhead:
If ever there were a sociology or anthropology of DKos usage, this comment by Araguato would be part of it.
From Cali Scribe:
In DianeNYS's diary regarding TU status, Andrew C White answers the pressing question: what is the half-life of mojo?
From your humble diarist:
I thought this comment by CJB in Scott Wooledge's diary about a bigoted restaurant owner's maltreatment of a lesbian couple was rather poignant.
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January 10, 2012
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