How did you make it through Father's Day? Was there anything especially hard (or easy) about the day? Or was it a day like any other?
TGR community regulars include a lot of people for whom Father's Day can be particularly rough:
♦ children mourning their fathers
♦ fathers mourning their children
♦ grandfathers mourning their grandchildren
♦ women mourning men who fathered their children
♦ wives and husbands mourning husbands with whom they raised children
♦ and people who have other special Fathers Day memories (and triggers).
It seems to me that Father's Day does not get as much media saturation as Mother's Day. It is next to impossible to ignore Mother's Day--reminders about it are everywhere. Father's Day has ads, and reminders to buy gifts and special tv programming, but it's just not as intense--it is a little easier to look away from.
Most of my life I ignored Father's Day. I didn't have a father in my life and I resented it. Paradoxically, I've noticed Father's Day a lot more since my father died than when he was alive. Yesterday was my tenth Father's Day without my (mostly absent) father.
It helps, in my situation, that it is always on Sunday, and Sunday is a work day for me. I can just keep busy and distract myself with a long day at work if I need to.
I spent most of Father's Day this year missing my mother, because it was also my birthday. On my birthday, I miss my mom a LOT more than I miss my father: he forgot/ignored the vast majority of my birthdays while she always made a big thing about them. Mom NEVER forgot my birthday. She had decades of sending me generous birthday checks ($10 for every year) and many sweet, thoughtful and sentimental presents. She would call me early in the morning at the exact minute I was born and sing happy birthday to me. On my birthday, I really miss my mom's birthday song. This year I had to make do with Stephen Colbert.
Yesterday I did think about my father a little bit. Only a little bit. But I did not go into orphan mode. So it was not as bad a day as it could have been.
Did you have any stronger than usual grief responses yesterday? How did you deal with it? Are you still feeling it today? Is Father's Day usually a problem, or was yesterday different?
How did you make it through Father's Day?
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