Like many who are passionate about politics, I’ve been following the campaigns closely. I’ve engaged in numerous online and in-person conversations, and have even wasted lots of time trying to show Trump supporters why he he uses racist language or why some of his ideas are plainly unconstitutional.
All this has been, up to now, an intellectual exercise. During this week, however, I’ve also slowly realized that I am becoming quite angry at Trump and his followers, and I have many reasons to take their views personally — even from my position of privilege and comfort.
We are a family of immigrants. My father came to this country in 1939, and my children in 1990 (children adopted through other countries’ legal systems are not automatically citizens).
We are a multi-colored family. My wife and I are white, but our children are brown with black hair. They are striking enough to be addressed in Spanish when they are in the southwest, to receive insults and racist epithets when they played high school soccer, or to be pulled over by the police from time to time.
These incidents have been few, especially compared to the love and friendship and support from all our friends. We’ve experienced nothing that counts as dangerous.
Even so, I am starting to take what I read and hear very personally. No one would have asked my father “where are you from?” or have demanded proof of citizenship to attain public services, but my kids have learned to bring their passports with them whenever they apply for jobs.
I’m also sensitive to language. I hear lots of people putting adjectives in front of “immigrant”, often when challenged. I’ll see things like “Trump didn’t mean legal immigrants when he said they were rapists, he only meant the illegal ones”. I hear statements like “I don’t want to ban all immigrants, just those from terrorist countries,” and I know perfectly well they mean “Muslim countries” (as if they know anything about India or Indonesia). And then I wonder what adjectives pop into their minds when they meet my children and whether such words would have occurred to them if they had met my father.
So I am getting angry in advance. Whether deserved or not, I want to pre-blame Trump supporters for any bad experiences my children might experience in the future, especially if Trump wins and every racist and bigot feels free to express their hatred. I find it hard to keep a hopeful attitude, even after the great speeches at the DNC last week.
I am also becoming afraid.