Every year since 2010 I’ve done a series of December diaries focusing on a variety of seasonal topics — from music to food to ugly sweaters. (Full disclosure: I did ONE Seasonal diary in 2008, and 2009 was the first December K2 was with us so I was a little distracted :-)). It’s time to do it again! Don’t worry if Christmas isn’t your thing- while my personal December perspective is primarily secular but culturally Christian-based with a healthy dose of earth-centered Winter Solstice mixed in because Unitarian Universalist, these diaries are NOT meant to be siege locations in the War On Christmas. In other words, if there’s a holiday in December that makes you happy, that you mark differently than all the other days, or that involves negotiating about who brings what food… this is the place for you! Grab your favorite beverage as you hop over the story break and check out the message from our sponsor... maybe some eggnog? As commercial eggnog is ::sob:: off limits to me forever thanks to blood sugar control, until a low-carb homemade version passes muster I’m having wine. Yes, wine. If it would be more festive I can nuke it for 30 seconds and sprinkle nutmeg on top, but I’m good room-temp :-))...
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For my first Seasonal diary last December, I asked whether people felt either more inclined or obligated to engage in charitable giving or acts in the period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. I suppose this diary is a followup of sorts; a story of a tradition Casa Brillig keeps every year.
Each year our congregation partners with the local Department of Children and Families to provide Christmas presents to children under their care. A family or group of families receive the information about and wishlist of a child or sibling group. The list is divided into a “big present”, two “smaller presents”, and then “mandatories” (pajamas, hoodie, shirt, and hat/gloves) plus a stocking with 3-4 little items. If a child has siblings, families sponsoring each child coordinate to make sure everyone gets EXACTLY the same number of presents. We wrap everything and return it early in December so that the social workers can make sure everything is delivered on time.
Our family has made the decision that sponsoring a child who would otherwise not have presents to open matters enough that we cut back on what we give each other to ensure “our child” has one day when they feel someone listened to them and got what they wanted (the wish lists are generated by the child and are often very specific). We choose the child together, and this year K1 was home for Thanksgiving and helped us settle on S, a 15yo girl with no siblings. Her info said she’s been in foster care for several years while her mother struggles with mental health and substance abuse issues, and that S has seen her overdose and is angry that she cannot take care of her. It further said S has decided the way to cope is to cut all friends and family out of her life, and copes by listening to music.
Fifteen, and already decided the way through Life was to isolate herself. My heart broke and seriously, I wanted to get her #AllTheThings and more. I got what was on her list, sneaking in a few extras on technicalities… I couldn’t get her the gift card to a particular store as her Big Present because I’d gotten the Bluetooth Speaker, but I could get a hoodie from that store, and sneak a few scarves in with the hat and gloves. I wrapped them all in fun wrapping paper, put all the gift receipts in the supplied envelope and filled out all the paperwork so the social worker would know what was being given.
I dropped off the items to the person coordinating this project, and I suggest you have tissues for the two stories she shared with me:
1. The original info sheet for S had one additional item listed, which was removed because whoever chose this child would not be able to provide it. S asked for “A new family”. As today is the 8th anniversary of the day we arrived home in the United States with K2, S’s plea for a new family pulled at my heart.
2. The coordinator was at a store recently picking up the bulk items used to ‘seed’ all of our stockings… toothbrushes and toothpaste, candy, etc. She mentioned to the store clerk that it was for kids in the care of DCF, and the clerk smiled and said “Thank you. I used to BE one of those kids, and receiving those presents on Christmas and knowing someone cared meant the world to me.”
Casa Brillig will keep up this tradition for as long as we are financially able, and if we find ourselves unable to do so one year, we’ll split one with another family or find another way to help. I have friends who help with toy collection drives, or volunteering for holiday parties for kids in state care, and other non-financial ways. The way I see it, HOW you help others isn’t as important as the simple truth that you DO. Because it matters.
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