Greetings, aminal fans! It’s Moondai evening and time for mischiefery with a mashery of Ogden Nashery (illustrated)! This is an Open Thread, so please feel free to post your favorite illustrated pomes in the Comments also too!
First, in honor of Columbus Day, or as I like to call it, Indigenous People’s Day, I present Ogden Nash’s pome Columbus:
Columbus
Once upon a time there was an Italian,
And some people thought he was a rapscallion,
But he wasn't offended,
Because other people thought he was splendid,
And he said the world was round,
And everybody made an uncomplimentary sound,
But he went and tried to borrow some money from Ferdinand
But Ferdinand said America was a bird in the bush and he'd rather have a berdinand,
Bird in the Bush
Bird ON the Bush (heh)
But Columbus' brain was fertile, it wasn't arid,
And he remembered that Ferdinand was married,
And he thought, there is no wife like a misunderstood one,
Because if her husband thinks something is a terrible idea she is bound to think it a good one,
So he perfumed his handkerchief with bay rum and citronella,
And he went to see Isabella,
And he looked wonderful but he had never felt sillier,
And she said, I can't place the face but the aroma is familiar,
And Columbus didn't say a word,
All he said was, I am Columbus, the fifteenth-century Admiral Byrd,
And, just as he thought, her disposition was very malleable,
And she said, Here are my jewels, and she wasn't penurious like Cornelia the mother of the Gracchi, she wasn't referring to her children, no, she was referring to her jewels, which were very very valuable,
[Caramba! Keep the beat, man!]
So Columbus said, Somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it,
And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it,
And the fetters gave him welts,
And they named America after somebody else,
So the sad fate of Columbus ought to be pointed out to every child and every voter,
Because it has a very important moral, which is, Don't be a discoverer, be a promoter.
Heh. Pooties don’t do jail.
[Don’t feel too sorry for Columbus. The Untold Story ]
And now to the apolitical portion of our program:
Morning Prayer
Now another day is breaking,
Sleep was sweet and so is waking.
Dear Lord, I promised you last night
Never again to sulk or fight.
Such vows are easier to keep
When a child is sound asleep.
So cute, yet so annoying!
So Does Everybody Else, Only Not So Much
O all ye exorcizers come and exorcize now, and ye clergymen draw nigh and clerge,
For I wish to be purged of an urge.
It is an irksome urge, compounded of nettles and glue,
And it is turning all my friends back into acquaintances, and all my acquaintances into people who look the other way when I heave into view.
It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,
And it consists not of "Stop me if you've heard this one," but of "I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless,"
Oh no, not again.
Yes I fear I am living beyond my mental means.
When I realize that it is not only anecdotes that I reiterate but what is far worse, summaries of radio programs and descriptions of cartoons in newspapers and magazines.
[Did someone say cartoons?]
Please to remember that Pootie Diaries post twice a day!
The regular Pootie Diaries post daily at 1:45 pm Eastern (on Sundays at 3 pm Eastern)
and the evening Open Thread Pootie Diaries post at 10pm Eastern
Please to show ‘em both some lubs!
And almost finally, please note da roolz:
PWBPeeps is a group that posts a daily diary and nightly open thread for animal lovers. We share photos, seek & give advice about pet health and behavior issues, support each other in times of sadness and stress, celebrate together when times are good, and on most days have an inordinate amount of fun.
Tricia, we’ll always miss ya!
You are welcome to join us!
Here are a few not-too-onerous PWB rulez
Violate ‘em and we’ll say that you drulez
- Do not “Troll” the Pootie Peeps Diaries. If you don’t like animal diaries, there’s no need to tell us about it. Just go find some other diary more to your liking.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. As in, no pie fights. This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- If you would like a pic from the comment threads, please ask the poster. He/she may have a copyright to those pics. Many thanks!
- There are some pics we never post: Snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated.
- If you’re not sure about an issue...please ask. Someone is always glad to help.
Finally, for those who might like to see our previous Illustrated Ogden Nash collections, they are here!:
The Serious Poetry of Ogden Nash, Illustrated!
More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
And Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
The Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
A Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Another Bit of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
This is an open thread! Please chat away in the Comments. Enjoy!