It has been two years since I confessed my worship of Ceiling Cat. Thus it is time once again to assert my Religious Freedom to worship Ceiling Cat. I have found Ancient Texts that purrport to be the inerrant word of Ceiling Cat. We last visited those texts also about two years ago. So please join us for new selections from the Psongs of the Pride from the Ancient Texts, translated as closely as possible from the original Meowsy Tongue below.
Psong 1:
1 Blessed are they who do not walk with the Wicked, nor sit in the company of Bullies, 2 but whose delight is in the Ball of Ceiling Cat and who throws Her belled ball for earthly Pooties night and day. 3 For the Wicked Bullies are like starving Reptiles who snap and flail to no good end. They shall soon be unelected. 4 For Ceiling Cat watches over Hoominkind, who will end their toleration of wickedness and bullying, 5 so that the Way of the Wicked Bullies leads to GOP destruction.
Psong 2:
1 Why do conservatives conspire and plot in vain? 2 Know-nothings of the Earth rise up and band together against Ceiling Cat, Divine Dog, and others of tolerance and say, 3 “Hoomins must worship Us, not Them”. 4 Divine Dog laughs; Ceiling Cat scoffs at them. 5 They try to terrify others with their wrath, saying, 6 “Proclaim the One Narrow God Holy, or We will dash you to pieces like pottery”. 7 Therefore, you Hoomins, be wise; be warned. 8 Serve the Lord of your Choice with Joy and celebrate His or Her rule with dancing. 9 Blessed are all who worship Ceiling Cat or Divine Dog or Any Heavenly Aminal. 10 Or not. 11 Ceiling Cat is Indifferent.
Psong 12:
1 Help, oh Ceiling Cat, for no Reptublican is faithful any more; those who are loyal have vanished from the Hoomin race. 2 Reptublicans lie to their Constituents; they harbor deception in their hearts. 3 May Ceiling Cat silence every boastful tongue — 4 those who say, ‘I am Lord over you”. 5 The poor are plundered and the needy groan. 6 There is no healthcare for millions. 7 Ceiling Cat, consider interrupting Your nap and protecting Us from those who malign Us. 8 Protect us furever from the Wicked, who freely strut about as the vile are honored by the right wing of the Hoomin race. 9 Release Mueller’s findings and lock them up.
The Pooties of Ceiling Cat are much tougher than Reptublicans!
(Do not try this at home!)
Psong 46:
1 Ceiling Cat is our refuge and strength, a mostly-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, 3 though McConnell gives way and *rump roars like the sea, though Twitter quakes with his nonsense. 4 There are fishing poles whose feathers make glad the pooties of Ceiling Cat, in the holy homes where pooties dwell. 5 Ceiling Cat is within them, they will not fail. 6 Nations are in uproar; 7 *rump lifts his voice, the nations laugh. 8 Come and see what Ceiling Cat has done, 9 the pooties She has brought forth upon the Earth. 10 She says, “Play with feathers, and know that I am One of many possible Lords. 11 Exalt all Aminals upon the Earth”.
We hope you enjoy these selections from the Psongs and have a Merry Religious Freedom Day! Please feel free to comment below!
If you haven’t yet, please see also these other Religious Freedom Day blogs:
Frederick Clarkson: Religious Freedom Day and Beyond
SouthernLeveller: Anne Hutchinson: Celebrating Religious Freedom Day
Dixiecollie: Quaker Robert Barclay & Freedom of Conscience: Helping Humpday at Street Prophets