Well everybody, I made it. And as you’ll see over the past week I’ve definitely changed the political landscape of the beltway: literally. And dramatically I should add, because before these signs there was nothing but empty fence. The funny smell at a stoplight turned out to be my alternator burning up, but was fortunately able to C’mon baby… her back to my motel which is surrounded by auto shops. I’d say this was also fortunate but is actually fairly customary for the sort of commercial lodging facilities where you can get away with painting huge signs in your room.
Shop called back. $1250 for everything that needs doing. That’s fine, I’ve got it. It’s only a $3000 vehicle but it’s got my paint and my tools and we’re here in Washington DC. Right where we need to be and right when we need to be here.
I do need money though — about $2500.00 — but here’s the catch: it has to come from Greenpeace USA. It’s a long story and I won’t bore you with it... I will fucking enthrall you with it.
Love, loss, betrayal, and and the fate of the world... this story has it all, beginning with a seemingly inconsequential chance encounter years ago... Every once in a while life slaps you in the face so hard and so metaphorically it forces you to re-evaluate your whole game plan, like a guy who puts 1500 Save the Arctic/Climate Change signs on freeways who gets fucked by Greenpeace.
You see, I worked for Greenpeace back in the 80’s, and I loved and respected the people I worked with and the organization we worked for. But now the money-changers have taken over the temple and I intend to cast them out. I got my start as an activist working for Greenpeace, and as God is my witness, it’s a hill I’m willing to die on. (If that sounds a tad severe, please note that I’m an atheist.)
Here are some of the signs and their durations I put up this last week around DC. At the end is my letter to Greenpeace after a few phone calls, clarifications and introduction to my work. It’s the opening salvo of what I promise will be an epic battle of Old Vs. New, Activist Vs. Bureaucrat, Good Vs. Evil… And you’re mentioned in it.
Hi Nicole, and thanks for getting back to me. I was wondering why a guy I'd had such a long and interesting conversation with - your canvasser, Mr. Drake - would try to trick me, and seeing that he'd scribbled-out the monthly provision did jog my memory a bit as to how he would've gotten me to sign such a document. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I'm sure he intended my donation to be, as he assured me, one-time only. I really hated thinking a Greenpeace activist having seen my signs (I had some with me - always do.) would then go on to knowingly cheat or mislead me.
Speaking of which, I was a little surprised you didn't mention my signs yourself: did you look at any of the links? Not that you were obliged to of course, but I sort of thought my putting up 1,000+ signs on freeways regarding climate change and saving the Arctic might be worthy of at least some mention. To a Greenpeace person, I mean.
Here are the results of the poll I conducted at Daily Kos:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/3/28/1845855/-CalTrans-guy-yells-What-re-You-Doing-Up-There-So-I-yelled-back-My-JOB-The-sign-stayed-up
Admittedly they’re avid fans of my work, but as a forefront of the progressive community, they should be avid fans of Greenpeace’s work as well. Obviously having the aggrieved party explaining the situation would account for at least some of the overwhelming 97 to 3 ratio, but I don't think that entirely discounts it as a basic reflection of the popularity of our respective positions.
Did your legal team say why they wanted to keep the money? Because that’s really the only thing I need explained: "Why would Greenpeace want to keep money once they knew it hadn't been intended for donation?" As I mentioned, I got my start as an activist by working for Greenpeace, and the people I worked with, and I believe the organization we worked for at the time (1986 & 87) wouldn’t have dreamed of doing such a thing. This was partly because we understood the importance of maintaining Greenpeace’s ethos and reputation as a force for good, but mostly because it’s, you know… wrong. I can say personally that I’ve managed to live my entire life without ever knowingly keeping anything I wasn’t expressly intended to have, at least if there was any way of returning it, and am assuming, perhaps with a few exceptions during childhood, that this is the same for you as well. So you can imagine I’d be a bit struck to find out it's Greenpeace’s policy.
If Greenpeace thinks I’m lying or doing this for money, fine: tell me. I’d like to hear Greenpeace explain why they think the guy who painted and posted over a thousand Save the Earth/Save the Arctic signs on freeways without ever asking anyone for dime is a cheat. If that’s not the case, and Greenpeace is keeping money it wasn’t intended to have because they think they can get away with it, then I’m afraid we have a problem, because that’s precisely the sort of thing Greenpeace taught me to fight against.
To recap: the canvasser and I spoke for a long time about a great many things: the Arctic, Greenpeace in the 80s, my signs, direct action vs. fundraising, the difficulties he must face in asking for continuing donations as compared to my canvassing days, and how and precisely why my donation was one-time only - something which I literally apologized for. The form I signed was, in his words “just to put me on the books,” because it “would really help us out.” It had no bank account or routing numbers or amount listed and as you can see, the monthly provision was scribbled out on the payline. While it’s theoretically possible the canvasser thought I’d instantly scrapped my entire personal philosophy and knew what I was signing, it’s doubtful. I prefer to think he’d not intended to cheat me and thought that my donation would be processed as one time only. Regardless of this, once informed that a mistake had been made, Greenpeace had a choice to make and I’m afraid that for a wide variety of reasons it’s made the wrong one.
To be honest, it’s awfully hard not to see this situation as a classic role-reversal/student-becomes-the-teacher tale-in-the-making, (and I do hope you’ll see the Japanese whaling remark through the lens of that larger narrative,) and apart from the money, morality, a sentimental debt to an organization I once worked for and respected, I’m afraid pursuing justice in this matter is practically irresistible on literary grounds alone.
Thanks for your patience and attention. I hope you’ll understand my disappointment here is with Greenpeace on an institutional level and not at all with you personally. As I’m no longer a member there’s no reason for you to be further troubled so you should probably refer this matter to the public relations department.
Yours, Freewayblogger
Their response:
Hi ________,
I apologize for the delayed response while I escalated your request to our Legal team. Your membership form has been reviewed and I have been advised to inform you that we will not be taking further action with this matter. We apologize again for any confusion related to your membership and we're sorry that the extension of our refund policy was not sufficient.
The last line refers to their returning $500 of the $3,150. I wrote them a check for $50 and that’s all I’m willing to give them. If you’re a member of Greenpeace, (particularly under their mercenary open-ended monthly plan,) by all means feel free to cancel and be sure to mention my name — but don’t feel like you have to. Not yet.
I intend to earn your support on this one, and I intend to do it on the strength of the story I’m about tell. I am embarking on a sustained, multi-front socio-literary/philosophical Direct Action against Greenpeace USA, and I have not yet begun to fight.