REPUBLICAN CONVENTION-GOERS! As you prepare fto unleash your frolicsome natures, you must beware that what went down at previous elephant shows won't be permitted this year. So as a public service, here is a slightly abridged list of items prohibited to take into the Cleveland Republican convention.
Air rifles/pistols/BB guns, paintball guns, blasting caps, switchblades, black jacks, swords/sabers (epees OK?), hatchets/axes,slingshots, metal knuckles, nunchucks, mace, ladders, glass bottles, ornaments (?), light bulbs, aerosol cans, ceramic vessel, cans, thermoses, umbrellas, tennis balls (what will the dogs chase?), sleeping bags, tents,mattresses, hammocks, stoves, coolers, backpacks, and a great big list of etceteras including drones, grappling hooks, sledgehammers, and containers of bodily fluids. This last item does not, fortunately include tears.
It's tough to go to a convention these days and still have fun, so holsters and elephant hats will probably be allowed.
You can't bring in a can of mace. Well, OK. But apparently you can bring in an actual iron spiked ball chained to the end of a stick - that kind of mace. And, ironically, even though you must leave your nunchucks at home, the entire hall will still be filled with numnutz. Go figure.
Hmmm. Water pistols are a no-no, real guns are fine. Pack light, just be sure to pack. Thank you, NRA, and stay safe, Republicans. The whole world is watching.