What Do Republicans Want?

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Tuesday January 29, 2008 · 12:04 PM PST

2008/01/29 · 12:04

It's primary day in Florida, and the demoralized GOP faithful trudge to the ballot box to determine which is the lessor of two evils - which still amazes me. I mean, figuring out what WE want as Democrats is a challenge, but figuring out what conservatives want is about the easiest thing in the world. In no particular order:

Free Markets

Lower Taxes

Traditional Values

No Brown People of Any Kind

advisorjim

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Monday January 28, 2008 · 9:19 AM PST

2008/01/28 · 09:19

It was interesting to me to see how, in the aftermath of South Carolina, pundit after pundit gave their guess as to who Edwards was "hurting" more. Some say he helps Obama by splitting the white vote with Hillary. Others think he helps Clinton by splitting the "anti-Clinton" vote. I thought I might try a novel concept. I thought I’d ask.

Poll

207 votes Show Results

If Edwards does not win the nomination, who would you rather see as the Democratic Presidential candidate?

207 votes Vote Now!

If Edwards does not win the nomination, who would you rather see as the Democratic Presidential candidate?

Hillary Clinton

49 votes

Barak Obama

158 votes

Shuffle Your Ipod Friday - 1/28/08 Edition

advisorjim

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Friday January 25, 2008 · 10:58 AM PST

2008/01/25 · 10:58

Continuing to ignore the primary diaries, race arguments, and flame wars, let's enjoy another eiditon of "Shuffle Your Ipod" Friday!

The rules:

Get our your Ipod/MP3 Player

Hit Shuffle

List the first 10 songs that come up. Commentary optional.

No cheating! Don't pick and choose. If an Air Supply song comes up, tough noogies.

Okay, I'll start.

advisorjim

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Friday January 18, 2008 · 8:25 AM PST

2008/01/18 · 08:25

Looking to take a break from candidate diaries and flame wars? Then join me for an idea that I'm apparently ripping off from someplace else, "Shuffle Your Ipod" Friday!

Okay, here's the rules. You turn it on, you press shuffle, and you tell us the first 10 songs it comes up with. You do NOT get to pick and choose. It has to be random. If it picks too many songs by Winger or Air Supply it's because you have too much Winger or Air Supply on your portable music device. Make changes accordingly, but don't cheat!

advisorjim

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Thursday January 17, 2008 · 10:07 AM PST

2008/01/17 · 10:07

"What do you want" is not an inconsequential question. In memory of the late G'Kar (both the actor and the blogger), consider when that question was asked on Babylon 5. A powerful race called "the Shadows" offers it's assistance to each member of a 4-sided conflict by asking "what do you want?" The first wants revenge, the second wants to be left alone, the third wants to know why they're asking, and the last wants power. They elect to help the group that wants power. In the end, this group gets all the power they ever wanted, but are so corrupted by it they end up wishing they'd never made the bargain.

Ultimately the answer to the question of "what do you want" says more about who you are than anything else.

advisorjim

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Friday January 11, 2008 · 10:48 AM PST

2008/01/11 · 10:48

Don’t worry, I haven’t gone back to the dark side. I just wanted to point out the one argument that every conservative will make in response to bonddad’s accurate diary on why tax cuts don’t pay for themselves.

So, you’ve printed out that little chart thingie, and you walk over to your favorite dittohead’s cubicle, slam down the chart and shout "Checkmate, beeotch!"

His response?

"Then how come federal revenues are at an all-time high right now?"

advisorjim

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Wednesday January 09, 2008 · 8:55 AM PST

2008/01/09 · 08:55

Editors Note: A timely combination of two postsfrom two different worlds.

A number of Pie supporters have been appealing to Cake supporters to switch their support to Pie to ensure that a "Tasty Edible" candidate gets elected instead of Flan. They implicitly suggest that Cake supporters will get everything they want if Pie ends up being elected instead of Cake. These Pie fans apparently do not realize that Pie and Cake are not black and white versions of the same thing. Pie feels all the right sentiments and speaks about them eloquently, but his culinary instincts are woefully inadequate for the task at hand. I like Pie and would probably vote for him in any other year based on his pure likability, alone. But I cannot support him as long as Cake is in the race. Cake represents real hope to me, because he sees clearly how we must approach our battles with Big Custard.

More below the delicious, sugary fold.

Poll

72 votes Show Results

Who Do You Support In The South Carolina Primary?

72 votes Vote Now!

Who Do You Support In The South Carolina Primary?

Cake

18 votes

Pie

28 votes

Flan

19 votes

Custard, or some other worthless dessert

7 votes

Shuffle Your iPod For Me

advisorjim

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Friday January 04, 2008 · 12:41 PM PST

2008/01/04 · 12:41

It's been a LONG primary season, and it's not over, but wouldn't it be nice to take a day off? Hell, it's Friday! Iowa's done! The weekend's here! Let's celebrate a little!

Here, this should help you transition out of "candidate diary" mode. It's a little affirmation from me to you:

"Your candidate is the only one who can beat the Republicans in November. No, I don't know why more people don't understand that. Yes, I know, your candidate leads that one candidate by 8 points, and that other candidate by 12 in the new East Jesus University Likability Index Poll. No, I hadn't heard your candidate just got endorsed by the Paradise Valley Thimbleworkers Union. Congratulations. Yes, we're all very excited. All the best in New Hampshire."

Good. Now that THAT'S out of the way, let's find out more about you, the veiwer at home.

advisorjim

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Thursday January 03, 2008 · 11:51 AM PST

2008/01/03 · 11:51

God, I hate when that happens! I know yesterday I said how tired I was of primary diaries, but the Republican primary race remains the damndest thing I have ever seen. I just can’t help myself. It must be something in the water.

I’ll get back to the book stuff tomorrow. I swear! It’s just, competing with the Hawkeye Cauci seems...well, impossible. And if I’m going to have to talk about it anyway, I’d much rather talk about how bad things are for the other side.

Unlike a lot of folks (apparently), I don’t really care who wins the Democratic primary. Whoever it is gets my vote, and whoever it is will have a serious homecourt advantage over the eventual Republican primary winner. I say this in all confidence because the Republican Party is tearing itself to pieces, and whoever wins their nomination will alienate some sizable segment of their political base.

Poll

88 votes Show Results

Who do you think is most likely to win the GOP nomination?

88 votes Vote Now!

Who do you think is most likely to win the GOP nomination?

The White Guy

20 votes

The one who hates brown people the most

3 votes

The one that's kind of crazy

7 votes

The one who said he's like Reagan

5 votes

The one who likes torture the most

2 votes

This is a trick question. You've just described ALL the GOP candidates!

51 votes

Hello Cruel World...

advisorjim

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Wednesday January 02, 2008 · 9:21 AM PST

2008/01/02 · 09:21

It's me...advisorjim, and I need your help.

Some of you may remember me as the suddenly prolific and then just as suddenly silent author of the "Confessions of a Former Dittohead" series back in the fall of 2005. Others may have seen me when I was on tour in 2006 promoting the book of the same name. But most of you probably have no idea who I am, because in blog years I'm like a thousand years old. So, for the benefit of those who may not be familiar with my story, here's the insanely quick version:

advisorjim

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Friday December 28, 2007 · 11:34 AM PST

2007/12/28 · 11:34

On Christmas Day in 800 A.D., Carolus Magnus knelt in prayer at St. Peter's Cathedral in Rome. While he knelt, eyes closed in prayer, Pope Leo III placed upon his head a crown. The man known as Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, would later decry that, had he known Pope Leo's plan he never would have attended the service. By his actions, Pope Leo created the perception that Charlemagne's power was derived from the church, thus establishing a tradition whereby any future emperors could only attain the title with the blessings of the church.

As Mark Twain once said, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

Fast-forward 1,207 years and another man who would be king faces a very similar dilemma. Mike Huckabee would like to be President, but Pope Limbaugh I isn't impressed.

advisorjim

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Wednesday December 19, 2007 · 9:13 AM PST

2007/12/19 · 09:13

As Markos so wisely points out, the Republican party is falling apart. It's finally been taking over by the Theo-cons, and the remaining factions are now seemingly running in fear from the monster they created. So this begs the question...what are our factions?

Howard Dean made a stop in Memphis during the HFjr campaign in 2006 and made an interesting observation. "The only 'majority' in the Democratic Party is women." That means we're just as much a motley crew as the GOP, but for the last 7 years that hasn't mattered. The one true majority we've had has been "we're NOT the GOP."

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What Do Republicans Want?

A Question to Edward’s Supporters

Shuffle Your Ipod Friday - 1/28/08 Edition

"Shuffle Your Ipod" Friday

What Do You Want?

“Tax Cuts Increase Federal Revenue” – A Helpful Addendum to bondad’s Diary

Cake vs Pie: Not An Equal Choice!

Shuffle Your iPod For Me

Aw Crap...I've Written a Primary Diary!

Hello Cruel World...

When Limbaugh Attacks: The Death of the Huckabee Presidential Campaign

The Democratic Party Factions