The president really wanted you to know that he knew (or heard during the day yesterday) that Andrew Jackson died before the Civil War—which no one ever asks any questions about—even started.
Also, even though the First 100 Days is totally meaningless and made up by liberals, he marked the occasion by defacing the second most beautiful cake you’ve ever seen.
I guess that’s the way you slice cake if you’re pretending you’re rich. You have “people” to do the rest of the cutting.
I’m sure he’ll provide us with something more interesting to talk about today, as soon as he gets up to go to the bathroom and starts Tweeting.
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Did you decide to attend a Climate March this weekend? Wise choice! Today there are May Day marches—a good day for it, as it is May Day, which is also International Worker’s Day. Today is also Loyalty Day! Feeling loyal? Wanna send a little attestation our way? In an indication of his loyalty to you, David Waldman smeared a dollop of expired scallion cream cheese on his bagel and got behind the KITM microphone once again for another week of sh*tstorm duty. Sure, Fox is deeply, ludicrously, egregiously dishonest. But is Trump always lying also? Yep. Probably. But he could maybe just be stupid. Donald Trump will tell you anything. Greg Dworkin catches up from Friday and the weekend with an around-the-world round-up. Trump gets friendly with Philippine’s Rodrigo Duterte because nothing matters other than Trump. Congress voted to keep the United States alive for a bit, although Trump’s tax cuts are going to hurt more than Reagan’s. Conservatives needed Russia as much as Russia needed them. New York Democrats are gunning for Trump’s state taxes. The Alt-Right is gunning for you, with guns. David got last week’s Sebastian Gorka stories in the nick of time, as Gorka is “to accept a role outside White House”. His career change was inspired by the cessation of paychecks from his previous employer. Gorka isn’t the only alpha male sent yipping with his tail between his legs. Jim DeMint will be accepting a role outside the Heritage Foundation. Milo Yiannopoulos previously accepted a role outside of book deals and speaking/taunting engagements. He is attempting to return, in an quest to find a young protégé, ward, apprentice in the 13-15 year old range. Corey Lewandowski seemed to have accepted a role outside the White House, but he promises clients that he is still inside.
(Thanks again to Scott Anderson for the show summary!)
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