From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Odds & Ends...
"Last month, the Senate voted for a ban on torture 90-9. You heard me correctly: Nine United States Senators refused to vote against torture. Those senators included Illinois Democrat Thumbscrews McGee, Iowa's Cattleprod von Analpair and, of course, Ted Stevens [of] Alaska."
---Jon Stewart
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"What's the next best thing to simply hiring ethical people [in the White House]? Explain to the crooks and liars you hired instead how ethical people would act."
---Randi Rhodes
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"It was reported this week that when he was in college, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito supported gay rights. Apparently, his exact words were, `Let's get Jenn and Stacy drunk and see if they make out.'"
---Conan O'Brien
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"The [rioting] immigrants, mainly North African Muslims, are upset that they're being shunned by French society. They feel alienated, scorned, looked down upon. Apparently, they're unaware this is a common situation known as Being French."
---Rob Corddry
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"New Rule: I'm not impressed by what college your kid is going to. George Bush went to Yale. The End."
---Bill Maher
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 10, 2005
Note: We are most dreadfully embarrassed...
If you tried to register for the C&J Café yesterday and it just didn't work out, this might explain why. Take it away, Baldwiny...
IMPORTANT!! When you sign up, please let us know your dKos user ID and Kos name in the "comment to Owner" form. We need to know who you are to approve you. We've had Rebuplitroll infestations before, and we cannot approve anyone who is not a member of Daily Kos with a verifiable trail of diaries, comments, or ratings. So, when you realize that you didn't get approved, it's nothing personal. Just read the instructions and try again.
Here's the link to the C&J Café. We regret any inconvenience. To make up for it, this evening you'll only have to buy us one drink instead of the usual three.
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By the Numbers:
Days `til Thanksgiving: 14
Days `til the Kennebunkport Christmas Prelude: 22
Number of centenarians in the United States: 50,000
Number expected by 2050: 800,000
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau)
Number of Iraqis who have fled their country because of violence and kidnapping concerns: 800,000 (most are educated professionals, but none are believed to be centenarians)
(Source: NY Daily News via The Week magazine)
Number of months C&J has appeared at Daily Kos as of today: 23
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Sometimes I sits and thinks, and other times I just sits."
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CHEERS to Eric Cornell. Yesterday, as Kossack My Philosophy was posting this excellent diary on how to beat back the intelligent design crowd, we were on the throne reading an elegant yet hard-hitting essay on Intelligent Design's place in our schools by Nobel prize-winning physicist Cornell. A sample (emphasis mine):
But as exciting as intelligent design is in theology, it is a boring idea in science. Science isn't about knowing the mind of God; it's about understanding nature and the reasons for things. The thrill is that our ignorance exceeds our knowledge; the exciting part is what we don't understand yet. If you want to recruit the future generation of scientists, you don't draw a box around all our scientific understanding to date and say, "Everything outside this box we can explain only by invoking God's will." Back in 1855, no one told the future Lord Rayleigh that the scientific reason for the sky's blueness is that God wants it that way. Or if someone did tell him that, we can all be happy that the youth was plucky enough to ignore them. For science, intelligent design is a dead-end idea.
My call to action for scientists is, Work to ensure that the intelligent-design hypothesis is taught where it can contribute to the vitality of a field (as it could perhaps in theology class) and not taught in science class, where it would suck the excitement out of one of humankind's great ongoing adventures.
Well said, ya big lovable ape...
JEERS to boneheaded leadership. This week marks three years since the U.S. House of Representatives voted to allow President Bush to take unilateral military action against Saddam Hussein to fight the war on terror. Yesterday, al Qaeda terrorists---who sprang up in Iraq only after we invaded---delivered our anniversary gift by orchestrating the bombing of three hotels in Jordan, which killed or wounded over 100 people. Oh...you shouldn't have.
JEERS to Jabba the Sputterer. Let me see if I can recall from memory the way Rush Limbaugh framed yesterday's GOP election losses:
Folks, this election doesn't mean anything! This was no victory for lllliberals! There was nothing national here! This was just local stuff. How do I know that? Because I say so! And and and and...this is a smokescreen! And the mainstream media had their stories typed up weeks ago!! They knew exactly what was gonna happen, and they...and they, and they...Blubbrrrrrurhuhrurbrbru!!! It's just local stuff!
To refresh your drug-addled memory, sir: "All politics is local." (Oh, and you might want to have that purple bulging vein on your head looked at. Or not.)
CHEERS to the new Bobby in Britain. Apparently, that's about all the authority that Tony Blair has left after getting his political legs chopped off in Parliament's House of Pancakes yesterday over the length of time terror suspects can remain in detention. If only it were that easy to take down our leaders over here.
JEERS to the nuisance of the sea. So here's a photo of the dastardly pirates who have been going after cruise ships off the coast of Somalia---a bunch of potheads in a dinghy and one of them is armed with a pointed stick. Cruise officials are testing new deterrence methods. So far the most effective one appears to involve Kathie Lee Gifford and a bullhorn.
CHEERS to good sense. On November 10, 1793, France ended the forced worship of God. So of course, just to be pissy, we're doing the exact opposite over here.
CHORTLES to predictions gone slightly askew. We stumbled across an issue of Newsweek from December 2, 2002. In the letters section is this gem from Kelly Flanagan of Pennsylvania, re: the Democratic setback after the 2002 elections:
Republicans were victorious on Election Day because Americans see a man in the White House they can trust, and they believed him when he endorsed Republican candidates. Trustworthiness was a characteristic sorely lacking in the White House during the last presidency, and until Democrats come to understand that, they will have a hard time winning."
Care for a little mustard and ketchup as you eat those words?
JEERS to stupid damn wars. On this date in 1982, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial---a vee shape which points accusingly at the State Department---opened. And we have yet to see a more moving image than Lee Teter's tribute. Forget? Not a chance.
CHEERS to modesty. Today a 100 day-old female panda cub at the San Diego Zoo will get its official name. And, if it's not too much trouble, she would also like little #!$%$@ privacy. Thank you.
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One Year Ago in C&J: November 10, 2004...
CHEERS to the sweetest words in the English language. "John Ashcroft Resigns" replaces "Free Booze" at the top of our survey this morning. And we expect it to stay there for a long, long time. (At least `til Friday night.)
JEERS to overstaying your welcome. Yasser Arafat is dead. No he's not. Yes he is. No he's not. Yes he is. Sounds like God and Lucifer are gonna have to determine ownership of this oddball's soul with a Rock-Paper-Scissors smackdown. Ticketsonsalenowattheciviccenterboxoffice!!!
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And just one more...
CHEERS to the software revolution. On this date in 1983, Microsoft released its Windows computer operating system. And we've had absolutely no troub [microsoft error message 23764. this program has encountered a fatal error and will shut down immediately. please check owner's manual for more information. Huhhuhhuh...dumbass.]
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jee [microsoft error message 23765. nice try but you can't just reboot your pc and expect the problem to go away. now be a good little schmuck and go read all 1,134 pages of the windows operating manual. or you can>>>snort<<<try to call tech support. oh I hate it when milk shoots out my nose. okay you're done. bye bye, dumbass. shutdown commenced.]
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"Kids who have repeated exposure to Cheers and Jeers become sexually active at an earlier age. The research is absolutely there."
---Tim Winter, Executive Director
Parents Television Council